Did you think it was dead in the M? Mine was getting worse and worse...I even went to the dr. to figure out what was wrong with ME!

It was so much of a chore the past few years...then when I wanted it...I had to engage and the task was done most of the time with me left hanging...

Oh, I got an cell bill changed into my name instead of STBXH...well, he TMed me last night telling me "I told u, I would paid ur bill."

I wanted to reply but didn't...

I'm at some friend's this weekend with the kids and I'm not use to being treated so well...her H fixed our plates and the kids...is boiling eggs for the kids and they are going to dye them in a little while...I kind of beside myself...LOL

I've had an awesome day...my friend has been telling me that STBXH was horrible and that he didn't respect me...LOL...her H is very protective of me and is shocked at STBX...

WE were joking about taking applications for my next whatever and getting a credit check with a background check in the future...LOL...so if anyone would like to apply see my friends!! LMAO

Well, CJ, I haven't heard anything from STBX...except for that TM...hasn't called about the kids or anything , just that TM about the bill...

I thought to myself...he's just losing more control...Oh, well...except for the ring, I really don't feel that I have much to grieve...I've been grieving since last April...and just came to realize that it was over...

I'm not hurting anymore like I was...I'm really okay with what I'm doing...it that normal? I mean were you okay when you did what you needed too...

I guess I fear dening my feelings and stuffing them...you know bottling them up...

WEll, let me go check out the kids and their dying! This should be interesting...LOL

Hey Rin,

About the rings, I took mine off after my WH tried to work things out with me last October, but then informed me that he was 'interested' in this Aimless girl. The ring just looked like a hunk of metal on my hand, anymore.

I don't think I will ever put that ring on again. I put the rings with WH's things and they are going to be stored with his stuff when he finally moves it all out. Apparently, WH has been carrying his ring around in his work bag all of this time. Well, it DON'T mean much if you don't wear it.

I miss the affection that I used to receive. It has been a long while for me, probably over two years now. No huggies and kissies and lovies.

WEll, LOL...I got my Christmas present from my friend's and there was a nice piece of leather with a medallion on it that said Long Life...I told AM, I'll call her, what I was thinking about my ring when I got here.

She understood...while we were sitting there I said that this is perfect and took my ring off, untied the leather and slipped it on...

So, that is where I am...feels usual...but with time I'll get use to it...last year after D-day I was so angry that I didn't wear it for a few months...so here I am today...not angry, not really sad, definitily aware...

Figure I'm out of my comfort zone on this one...

AM said something that really hit me pretty good...she said until I stop looking for certain things that STBX did to me in OP that I didn't need to get with any other relationship...

I was like wow and thanked her for saying that b/c I think that it's true.

Oh, SL, sweetie I don't know how you have managed...it's been six weeks and I'm thinking about it...craving...but like I said if I was in MY house I would be able to feel comfortable and do whatever I want/need...oh, the jazucci tub...LOL

Rin,

I know what you mean... like I said previously it has been about 16 months. I had never gone that long without it.

And since then no hugging or much affection. I too am a toucher, Although the Sf wasn't great all the time for me... it was still the physical contact. At time I felt like what about me?

Still

I hear you Still...just another reminder why I'm doing this...I know that there's someone out there who would love to take care of a woman who can hold her own...

I real man who knows how to be tender and affection...who may do a Oops, but still take care of what needs to be taken care of...who cares HOW it happens...

I forget who I got into a conversattion...Oh, I think it was Mortarman...who said it's not SF if both parties don't enjoy it...I remember having a similar convo with Frog when I got here...

But you can bet that there's someone out there that's willing to love as much as we love them...

I'm feeling better tonight...I had a shower, a long hot shower...makes a difference...

WEll, we're boilin crawfish tomorrow...boys are down...and I was really tired earlier today...

Besides I keep getting fussed for not making myself at home...Oops...LOL

Well, you guys have a great night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It's wonderful to see that you are STRIVING!!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Mimi, I'm really enjoying life now...laughing, playing with the kids...

Life is good!

Hey Rin,

I took the rings off (she already had done so when she started cheating) when I told her our marriage was NOT a marriage. So, by all means: take em' off if you want. Or, keep them on to keep the men away. Any man you would be interested in wouldn't chase you anyway with a ring on. When you are ready to open yourself to a relationship, then you take em' off. In my case, I just tell em' I'm divorcing and not interested. (yes, word spread fast and it's amazing how some nutjobs will proposition you so early.)

In short: Wear em' or ditch em', your call. Don't worry about what STBXH thinks, he can think whatever.

Glad to read you are doing so well,

J

I threw my ring into the ocean after the second D-Day. It was a symbol of her vows to me, which she had completely disregarded, so it was of no value. She can get me a new one if necessary.

My vows to her were still intact, so I feel there is still value in her rings, but she took them off as soon as I did without comment or question.

I still wear mine and sometime I wonder why - mainly because in God's eyes I am still married and I want to be married.

I had thought about giving it back along with a plan B letter if/when I get to that point. Of course I would love to cut the thing before I give it back to symbolize how she broke the unending circle of love.

BTW, thanks for continuing to check in on me and my sitch. I know how hard it is to keep up with your own crap - LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Striving,

You are welcome my friend. I admire you very much for your strength.

I guess what you see is it is a personal decesion. So it is up to you.

My life is going well. The FWW is really trying to change. I had a big headstart. She still strugles with interupting me but she understands my frustration when she does.

YS is doing great. He is an allstar at baseball. I am the coach. The manager tries to figure the linup around my son. It is so cool.

OS is starting counceling. His first IC session was this week. Once with mom, then once alone, then once with dad.

Sounds like from the FWW she took owner ship of her part and the IC agrees. So I hope he turns around.

To me the IC sees the codependent relationship they had. It was her and OS against me. Even when I was right.

We are in it together though.

My new job rocks. I love it. I am making a lot more money but now I have less time to post. LOL. I can live with that.

At this rate I will be completely out of the financial mess we were in by the end of summer.

I really appreciate you too Rin. Heck sometimes my posts to you were very unburdening. Saying to you sometimes in your threads what I wanted to say to FWW but didn't.

This journey has been wierd but I am better for it.

You are too!!!!!

Good luck and Happy easter.

Just wanted to pipe in and say have a wonderful Easter.

I've been following your thread. You are becoming a real inspiration to me.

Thanks

Wow, I am so blessed to have all of you in my life...you guys say that I inspire you but the motionative that I get from you guys is empowering in itself...

Thank you for all the wonderful things that all of you have said about me...it was a pleasure to wake up to all these wonderful posts...

I told L he would earn bonus points with the Easter bunny if he took a nap today! LOL It worked!

Frog- Your family is so wonderful...your FWW has really stepped up to the plate and it has been a joy to watch her take responsiblility for her actions...I'm happy for the kids too...YOU proud PAPA! LOL My heart is booming with the love that I see for your family in your posts. Amen, huh? FWW sounds like the speaker that we had last weekend...amazing turnaround!

Jayban-believe me the last person that I'm worried about thinking something is STBX...I like what you said about any guy you tries to talk to me while I'm married is not worth the trouble anyway...LOL...I know that not exactly what you said but it works for me...like a respect thing...

Respect my marriage even though it's ending...I mean that's what I'm doing so, you would think that I need to surround myself with OP who do the same...LOL

If that doesn't make sense in writing I got that in my mind so don't laugh at my to much...it's a simply reminder, in regards to the picker I think! LOL

SDguy- WOW, now that's a story...I pray that things work out for you...

E- Hi, thanks for stopping in an posting...yeah, I'm still checking on you...I read your thread last night and I was so mad at your WW...I figured it would be best to keep my thoughts to myself...LOL...since I don't have anything positive to say about her or the "marriage"...

I'll say this...IMVHO, you need to move on...for you and your kids...just my 2 cents...God would not want you to be treated the way that you are being treated...

OKay, I've spoke my piece...you take care...I will continue to check on you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

L2S- WOw, that was a hard one to type... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> THank you very much! Take care of yourself, have some fun, and DO NOT obsess about ANY sitch...tonight, us adults are stuffing and hiding eggs for in the morning...HOW FUN! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Happy Easter,

Tremendous strides forward!

As the wks have gone by here, your growing stronger, wiser, stronger, wiser, stronger, wiser, stronger. Nice dance steps!

Deeply sorry about your son's learning challenge. Sounds like your doing all the right things here. Having children with a LC is really an unwrapped gift, opens new frontiers!

Here my kids are sailin with their lives, doing such creative & wonderful things! Both in university/college. I am so proud of both of them~ Am worn out for sure...Special Challenges with it's own Special Rewards!!!

(((()))))

Good Morning, Happy Easter to you to Sky! DId I understand right, you have kids with an LC? I really like what you said about having kids with an LC...that's cool!

Well, the kids and I had a great weekend...it was so great to see them running around looking for eggs...we have about 70 eggs and 13 hard boiled ones for them to look for....They had the great times...

Of course, with the cold front that came in, F's coughing, and L's sneezing, so needless to say I'm dosing them up with meds!

They both wanted to come to work with me this week...LOL...I told them only one at a time...so, F will be coming Wed. and L Thurs...I can't handle both at the same time...they would drive me crazy and I wouldn't get anything done...

BC- you are so right about crawfish boils north of I-10...pouring that stuff on top! Yuck! Actually they weren't that bad but definitily not our style...I would love to have some good ones before the year's up!

Well, let me go see what's going on...some of our trailers got broken into over the weekend that carry our tools...I hope everyone has a great day back! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, I wanted ot say that I am wearing my wedding ring on a chain...to me it is a sign of once was...

A reminder of good times and bad times...Saturday night I had a really good cry...something I've been meaning to do but haven't felt like I was in a safe place to do it...

Visiting with my friend's gave me the opportunity to do so...and in the mist of grieving I found myself scared that STBXH would show up...I was able to calm myself keeping in mind that my friend's wouldn't let anything happen to me and the kids...

Her H is very protective of me, well, they both are...not only me nut the kids...

AM said something to me that has been the truth...she said that she noticed over the years that I always got his seconds...whatever it was that he was done with, I got it...radio, CB, motorcycle, whatever...and it's true...I had mentioned that to him several times...

So, I really got the chance to relax and feel safe enough to do what I needed to...

i was so tired when I got home last night...I went lay down and the kids played in the living room...I slept for a few hours and didn't have any trouble going back to sleep when it was bedtime...

I still woke up three times last night but I got a good bit of rest...very much needed!

Thank you all for sharing about your wedding rings...funny, I cracked my band two weeks after I got it...and it's still that way today...even after having some work done to it...the jeweler didn't fix it when it was brought in...but did the other work that was needed...LOL

I'm Glad you had a good weekend, but mine was better. While I was in Houma I bought a set of bolt cutters I had been wanting and it came with a trailer load of free tools.....wait....did I just type that or did I just think that....DOH!!

Any way, don't let those boys eat too many of those boiled eggs at one time. You don't want to lose your welcome mat at S's.

Have a good day!

Well, I guess it's good that they don't really like boiled eggs then! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

That's why we did mostly plastic eggs! Goof Ball! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

You know you watched TOO MUCH TV growing up right! LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

How did DS fair? Was the Easter Bunny good to him? What about DAD, was he good to you or did you just get to share DS's?

I made a point not to get any candy that I really liked this year...I'm getting to the point that I'm ready to lose the 30 lbs. I picked up this past year...LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

I would love to fit in my 4 and 6's again! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

Be careful with the plastic eggs too. They may not offend your S, but they hurt like HE11!! comin out.

Dad is sharing DS's stash. DS ended up with 4 new outfits, a pair of crocs, and a new train for his Thomas tracks.

I hope you still have your 4's and 6's. I sent all my old clothes to Salvation Army and now I'm having to buy new stuff that I can't afford.

Good Luck!

Yeap, I gottem all at home...LOL...hopefully STBX hasn't done anything to my clothes...since I haven't been home in over a month to fine out!

I don't think he's that studip...I would call the police on him this time! Let him deal with the consequences of his actions!

F and L got some pretty good stuff too! Two pairs of shorts a piece and 2 "Cars" shirts, card games, Plastic horseshoe game, like a badmittion game...LOL...my mom really hooked them up...nothing else from anyone...no phone call from STBX or anything...just me and the kids! It was ALL good, I really enjoyed it!

F doesn't like shorts so I'm thinking about exchanging them at lunch, besides I have a few other things that I need to pick up! I'm looking forward to the outting...and then this afternoon I need to go to the library to renew some books...just for me!

I have a really good one called "Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends" by Bruce and Robert Fisher, it's very insightful!