Hello, I did a little research and called the school to get him tested from what I was reading he sounds like he has dysgraphia!

http://www.dys-add.com/symptoms.html#dysgraphia

I was amased when i was reading it...so I talked to the couselor and she's going to refer it to the SBLA board....they meet on Wed., so I may have something soon!

Well, I guess I'm just going to have to wait until the school tested him. To get him tested privatily will be anywhere from 700 to 500 dollars.

And the local school here is closing down, so the lady I talked to said it would be useless for her to send me any information on testing and stuff...

So, I'm in a holding pattern for that...

Outside of that, I dropped some more paperwork off to the A's today...

Rin, you've done the hard work of trying to narrow down what the problem may be with your son, so you are one step ahead. I'm sorry to hear about the frustration of waiting to get son tested, but $500 is a lot of money for single mom, so I would work with the school. Can you call the county about the issue?

Strivn,

If you are in the USA, if you make a formal request in writing for your child to be tested, the school district is under legal obligation to test the child within 60 days once you sign consent for that testing - whether or not the school is closing, painting itself green, hanging the principal, or dancing a ballet. The district has people to test children for disorders, including dysgraphia, writing disabilities (which are learning disabilities, BTW), and other disabilities. Federal laws and state laws regulate these things, and the children are protected under very strict guidelines regarding how long the school districts have for testing children once a request for testing is received and consent for testing is signed. (They can, in unusual and very certain circumstances, refuse to test, but they have to demonstrate a valid reason for refusal. Usually, they test in order to avoid lawsuits.)

All testing is free through the school. They don't like to test near the end of the school year because of the timelines and due dates. Don't let that stop you....

I haven't read the whole thread, but Canada and UK also have regulations and timelines. Check on this so that your child can get tested and get the help ASAP that is needed.

(Can you tell I've been involved in the "system" before???)

SB

Hi, SL and SB...Thank you for your input...I have requested that he be tested at school the committee that does thid meets every Wed.

The school that I was talking about was a special school that is right across the bayou from our family home...from lack of funding they are closing...and yes, the private test is expensive so, I'll be waiting on the public system...

We only have like a month of school left, so I'm hoping that we can get it done by then...

I looked over his work again last night, and he does the same thing with p and g...so it seems like it's a directional left and right problem...not an up and down problem from what I was reading...

Just so happens that my Spon.'s son is dyslexic, so I showed F's work to her and she agrees with me...so, we'll just wait, I'll work with the school...

He's passing the year...I guess I need to consider holding him back or not...If he can start the 4th grade with IEPs...I think that he'll be okay...he just can NOT spell to save his life!

SL- What do you mean by calling the parish? The school board? or the actually like parish counsel, government?

My Spon. said that she only paid 100 dollars when she had her son tested in OK. That's just an outrage and if I have to ask to borrow the money from someone to get him tested I will...heck, I'll move to send him to a good school if I have too!

SB, I really appreciate the info about them not wanting to test near the end of school...I'll push the issue because as far as I concerned there's nothing more inmportant than his education...

HAHA, this will look good in my favor too come to think about it!

S4B

My DS15 had reading problems early on. School districts do need to test students for things such as reading delays and other academic problems, but they don't diagnose learning disabilities because they are not medical professionals.

That doesn't mean they can't give you some good advice. Sometimes teachers and principals might suggest that a student has a learning disability based on their years of experience.

What you can do is start with your pediatrician. They are trained to look for these types of things. They can recommend all kinds of testing-starting with vision problems that can cause all kinds for learning problems-and not just "can he see the board" 20/20 vision issues.

My son had vision problems which caused him to struggle with reading. His eyes didn't track together (binocularity) and they "stuttered" on words. He would bob his head when reading and get headaches from the eye strain. Of course he was way behind. Reading was a struggle. Initially he was tested for dyslexia because he didn't start talking until he was older (he didn't have to, older siblings did all his talking) and they narrowed it down. He also had some focus issues and needed glasses. 9 months of vision therapy helped him get to grade level.

He also was diagnosed with ADD-which also began in the Dr's office. I only paid co-pays for the office visits.

Once the diagnosis of a learning disability is made,and you have the letter from your pediatrian, then it is the district's legal responsibility to provide whatever is needed to help your child be successful in school. That diagnosis is the "golden ticket" to getting your IEP or 504. (A 504 is for students who don't have an extreme disability but still need to have certain services-that's what my son had. He didn't need to be pulled out for intervention, but he needed certain adjustments for tests, reading groups, etc. The 504 stated that so the school was required to follow it).

Also, in my state, if your child is in a private school and that school doesn't offer learning support (many don't because they can't afford the specialists) the public school still is required to provide it. My older sister's kids got speech therapy through the public schools while they attended a private Christian School and my kid brother played baseball for the local high school because his Christian school didn't have a team.

Also, not being able to spell won't keep your son back in life. My twin brother can't spell to save his life but he still got a PhD! (He just had a good editor for his papers-me). I got him a "bad spellers" dictionary for college that spelled words phonetically and then gave the correct spelling. He also kept a list of his worse words in his notebook for quick reference.

Good luck. Keep advocating for your kid. You are his best resource!

Thanks Johnstwin...I called his ped. yesterday...they said that I would have to start with the school system... and F already wears glasses but I did make another appt. to check his eyes on the 13th...

Thanks for the recommendation...he was due this month or next month anyway...

That's really good to know about public and private school...That's cool!

Thanks for sharing!

Hi, Rin.

Again, way out of my league.

But I'm reading along and thinking about you!! You're a great mom, those boys are very lucky to have you!


-AmI.

Rin,
Johntwin is right about the school systems... my DS had speech therapy at the public school when he was going to a catholic school.

Everyone pays taxes for the school system regardless if you use it. So they provide for the residents of the town or city regardless if the child goes to public school.

Still

Thanks AmI, you should see my goddess wear today! LMAO With a new hair cut...Who's the bomb?

I AM! I AM! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Still, thanks for sharing...that's good info to know...let's just hope our public school gets this done before the end of the year! LOL

Hi, all! I've been thinking about removing my ring today and was just wondering what your thoughts are on this...

I am going to have to think some more on how I feel about it myself and perhaps you guys can help me work my way through this...

I would appreicate the help...Frog...you out there...I would "love" to hear your Opinion! LA-Mrs. ma'

MEDC, mimi, anyone!

Thanks in advance... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Rin,

I removed my rings shortly after WH left and he came over and I noticed he wasn't wearing his ring. He had never taken off his ring before. I took them off and put it in my pocket.

I put my rings back on in mid January and they have been on ever since. Except when I have to take them off for work. They will stay there until my D is final.

Although i do have a right hand diamond ring picked out which I'm trading in my engagement ring for. My DD's don't care to have my tainted engagement ring.

I also struggled with that issue... right before plan B I was thinking putting my wedding band with the letter.

Do what you think is best for you... I'm behind you with whatever you decide.

Still

Oh, that's a thought I could trade it in for something else...there was an opal and diamond chain that I saw...

That's a thought!

Thanks Still...I'll keep that in mine!

Hi. Lurker here... Sorry you're having to deal with testing for LD's for your son.

Don't know if you've already found this web site - http://www.wrightslaw.com/ - but it is a virtual treasure trove on info on special education laws and issues. It may help give you some info you'll need through the process of seeking learning services and evaluations and such. Wishing you the best of luck...

I started posting and got interupted and in between then and now I changed my mind anyway.

I personally beleive you are married until the D is final so I was leaning toward leaving on the ring.

Then I thought about why we wear rings right. It has no beginning and no end. So why wear it.

So now I am at take off the ring. I woulnd't sell it yet or do anything with it. Just take it off and leave it.

That is my opinion at this moment and it might change. LOL>

LMAO...hi lurker...LOL...thanks for stopping in...I appreciate the info...I will check it out!

Frog-Thank you so much for your opinion...do I have to say how much I value you? Do you need a little validation in your life? LOL

I also agree that I'm Med until that final date...but I'm like it's over...what's the point but then again, I'm still attached to it...notice I said it...and it doesn't fit well on the other hand...so it's off or on...

I guess this is something that I will have to work through...I mean I have let go of a lot of things but this seems to be really hard for me right now...kind of like the final straw I guess...

I'm feeling all mushy tonight...I'm craving stuff that I won't mention right now...God the next year is going to be hard...it's that personal touch...OKay, change the subject...

I really appreciate your thoughts guys...you mean the world to me...all the support in the last 11 months...Frog, I'm so proud of you and FWW...how are the boys? THe new place? Going okay?

Take care, I'm going lay down, the boys and I are getting out of town tomorrow...I'm looking forward to a change in scenery...it's certainly overdue! Happy Easter if I don't talk to you all before then! Take care!

Good Morning Rind,

I can relate to feeling mushy and can imagine what you are missing. It's been 16 months for me and I miss it very much.

We can get through this though because there is light at the end of the tunnel... there is someone out there who will love and honor us. For me I hope it is my WH.

Still trying to get that book for alanon... checked out a couple of bookstores.Met someone at the first bookstore who has been on the wagon for 27 years (I think thats how long she said) and told me to come in today and she would bring me something.

Still

Morning Strivn!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> How are you this fine morning? Here in the Pacific Northwest, it's sunny and flowers are blooming and it's PERFECT for a bright Easter weekend.

I know it's just my opinion, but here's my two cents. I wore my rings on a chain near my heart until the day the D was final. When I first came here to MB (Sept. 2000) he had already cheated on me TWICE: Feb. 1999 he left for six months to be with his ho--and then New Years Day of the Millenium he rang it in with his ho! So, we were pretty definitely done, and I felt confident that I had done everything ON MY PART that I could do to save the M. I didn't want to WEAR my rings because like you, we were pretty surely heading toward D and I was trying to adjust to THAT reality. However, I also wanted to remind myself that until the D was final, I was in fact married and to behave accordingly.

Thus, I suggest you do something like I did--wear them on a chain until it's final. Just leave them on all the time, on the chain. At first, your hand feels NAKED without your rings, but getting used to it iss also part of the process.

Now...regarding the "mushy" stuff. I DEEPLY missed things like snuggling, hugging, kissing and more...partially because my exH did not really find me attractive enough to have a mutual sex life, and partially because I'm a toucher. For me, missing that "mushy" stuff was torture. Nonetheless, during the nine months it took for the D to be final -AND- for two years thereafter, I did not engage in any "mushiness" by choice. For coping techniques I will tell you this--these things HELP but are not the same:

I decided to love my own self--so now and then I'd send myself flowers, buy myself chocolate, light scented candles, or have a bubble bath while playing Frank Sinatra.

I got as many hugs as I could from friends (like my lady-friends at my abuse support group), family (kids, mom, sisters, cousins, etc.) and other LADIES--so that I didn't let my physical get carried away hugging some guy at church! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I did things that were pleasing to my senses such as wearing clothes that FELT good--wearing perfume that I deeply liked, etc. Soft EVERYTHING.

And finally, I did invest in a B.o.B. that took the edge off every now and then when I felt a bit ... um ... itchy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

(((((Strivn))))) Hope that helps!!



~~CJ

HI, Cj...thank you for ...LOL...sharing that with me...I really appreciate that...

LOL...it would be sooooo much easier if I was home...I've made my investments...LOL...

I like the idea of the chain too...I think the naked feeling is the reason I haven't taken my ring off yet...

NIne months...wow...why nine months? LMAO...I've got 50 weeks left,HURRAY! Two weeks down since STBXH has been served...21 days to court...out of the house, 29...

I know probably wierd to be counting like that but it actually helps...it's great to look at it after a weekend then several days have passed...it's so cool!

I hear you on being touchy feely...I'm the same way...I use to complain to STBXH that he needed to prime the pump before the pump was ready...that didn't happen to often...

Needless to say, LOL...I've made some good investment off the years...

WEll, I'm going to end that conversation...LOL...likely to end up with some interesting results...

Thanks you for all of your help! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Strivn,

Well--you're gonna laugh, but remember how your hubby is a lot like my exH? Well for one thing, I already had a RO in place against my STBX (in my state, you get a RO on the same day, and then have the permanent trial within 30 days). So from the day I filed to the day it was signed was 9 months. My state has a 90-day MINIMUM but that was the quickest it could ever happen, and the court schedules were out like 6 months! Haha! So my first court day was 6 months from filing, and then we had some mediation type stuff, and our final court date (to sign it) was 9 months from filing.

My exH pulled most of his stunts DURING the marriage. As it broke up and he could see I meant business, he tried harder to get me to re-engage. Once he got it through his head that I meant business and wasn't going to re-engage, he pretty much caved. His bark was WAY worse than his bite!! He would threaten and threaten--but then never follow through! So, since I told him where he could shove his money--and he couldn't control me with that (remember? I lost a lot of money I could have chased after, but figured I would rather just be FREE of the man!), he sort of lost the wind in his sails. After that, we negotiated fairly well (you keep your money and debts, ditto for me, kids homebase with me, joint custody, DONE) and the court just signed it.

Regarding your "investments" (blush)...like I said, they take the edge off but aren't the real thing. I used to wonder to myself if my sex drive was dead because it had been so long! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> But guess what? It comes back to ya! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Especially when you fix your picker and pick a really good second husband!!!

Happy Easter, Killer Bee sistah!!



~~CJ