Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell....

Did you hear from your Atty yet?

(drumming fingers impatiently on desk)
(pacing)
(tapping toe)

I am TOTALLY sending up GIGANTIC prayers that he will agree to some amount of CS and let you back in the house today!!!!!!!! Please let us know the minute you hear anything...even if it's news that he's being a jerk and refusing, okay? Wouldn't that look GREAT to a judge? Being abusive -AND- refusing to allow his own children to move back into their own home? Nonetheless, abusive WS's are often fairly self-centered and feel entitled (no...really?) and thus I wouldn't be surprised if he's selfish about it.

BUT!!!...

...where there is life, there is hope. He may, for one brief, shining moment, do the right thing!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LET US KNOW!!!

Your faithful friend,



CJ

Oh I am soooo mad.

I had a good post and gone.

So let me think if I can remember. LOL.

You don't need to be tougher. I think you can be less tough but follow through with everythign you say.

Don't know if that makes sense. For instance if you say. Do your homework now or you get no dessert. If he doesn't no dessert. YOu cannot backslide and give chances.

So think before you punish. My FWW is famous for threatening but doing nothing.

With the homework try different things. For instance we tried at the kitchen table, 15 minute break then straight to homework. Until we finally give him 15 minutes to relax. Bought him a desk. gets a break in between assignments and it seems to be getting better.

The most important thing is we have all these checks and balances. He can no longer hide we know everything going on.

So take the court date in stride. I know it stinks but you cannot let this rule your life. That is your STBX plan.

WE all know it. He is trying to get to you and punish you. Do not give him that permission.

I feel bad that it happens but you have a roof over your head and your STBX A is probably telling him to stay away and he is listening because there are witness'.

The longer this goes on the worse your STBX looks.

I know someone questioned your lawyer but his looks to be a blazing idiot. LOL.

I could be wrong.

If you don't know about mediation and you don't know what is the next step ask your Lawyer to Write it up for you.


Mediation is required in CA if children are involved.

Good luck rin.

My last post was better but it got erased.

i got you Frog...i get it...

blazing idiot? I don't know...he's the xDA...I picked him for all of his experience...

I really think that he's being a hard nose with STBX...thinks he's slim...lowers then dirt...

He was also more expensive then some of the others in town...i figure you get what you pay for...

Come to find out the reason why my IC questioned him was because she didn't know that he did Family Law...

Here an articles about him:

D.A. confiscates tape minutes before broadcast
The other stuff I've looked at is court cases...

CJ - As soon as I hear anything I will let you all know...

Edited to add:

Ex-Terrebonne Parish prosecutor guilty of battery

This is something to laugh about...from what I understand the two have some conflict out of the courtroom for years...

I think frog was referring to STBX's A as being the idiot.


I know who Rin's A is an he's extremely compitent. been around forever.

Oh...I re-read it... WOW, Sorry...

I heard the other night that he's a decent man...he probably see right through STBX...

now, that we have all of the discovery out of the way and both laywer's know what's on the table...

STBX might be back paddling real soon...that was a lot of notes i handed over...

If anyone would like to see the finished notes...I would be glad to post them...there was a few more incidents that I added...

BC,

Good catch. I meant his lawyer.

Rin,

When I was researching the option of a D the lawyer I saw gave me a check list of things to do so I look the best I could in a custody hearing.

Your STBX seems to not have gotten that list. I don't know his A so maybe I mispoke though.

Maybe it is like defending someone you know is guilty.

Not all states are the same thats for sure but most states look at Status Quo. So your H can really trash you all he wants but the fact is the kids are with you and you have been their primary care giver.

Then there are a list of reasons that can sway that. Domestic abuse arrest. Drugs addiction, alchol addiction etc.

So you don't have any of that.

Now you have the father living in the house by himself instead of moving out. Letting his children stay somewhere else.

It isn't good for him to be doing this. That is why I question his lawyer. But then again maybe he told STBX this and he is ignoring him.

Either way the sitch stinks but in the end it will probably work in your favor.

Let me tell you HOW he hired his laywer...

FIL hired this guy for STBX Step brother...this is STBX's step father...

SB needed one for custody visitation of HIS SON...so when this came up, they hired the same one...STBX didn't do anything...FIL hired this guy from Norht Louisiana...

Remember when FIl came down and STBX went out, then the kids, Fil, and I went to dinner...that's what he was down here for!

More enabling on the part of STBX's family...they are so snowed in with his BSh*t!

Very interesting that you entertained while STBX avoided FIL ... and all the time they were both conspiring against you. Wow.

Did STBX know at that time that you had hired a lawyer and were trying to get out? I can't remember, but I thought at that time you guys were doing alright ... you'd made your decision, but he didn't know about it yet...? Apparently, he must have known sooner than you thought.


Here's what I'm worried about for you. I agree with Frog about most states looking at status quo. And I'm just a layman who's been through it -- certainly not a lawyer who gets paid to do this stuff every day. Even if STBX's lawyer isn't the best of the best, he's got to know the "status quo" rules, too. And your H is asking for full custody and use of the house. Something stinks to me.

I am worried that STBX is going to say that you took off with the kids. Paint you as a kidnapper. I think the reason he isn't pushing the issue of seeing the kids is because it's in his best interest to say you only "let" him see them these couple of times. I think that's why he had the neighbor call you to ask about time with the kids (getting the story pretty wide-spread now), and while she was there, he gave you that line about "Oh, I didn't know I could call you...". And why he told your DS that you could all move home anytime. He's building up this story that you just suddenly flaked and disappeared with the kids and filed for D out of the blue, and that you haven't let him have access. And poor, distraught STBX, he's just staying in the home so that his poor, kidnapped kids know where to come home to if they ever escape .... blah blah blah.

I could be way off-base here. But I smell a rat and don't want you to get blind-sided. I don't believe that your STBX's lawyer is really that tuned out -- I think he has a definite strategy. And your attorney may be fabulous, but I still think that he just isn't giving your case enough attention. It's killing me that you've had to wait and push for everything... I mean, who holds onto a TRO, and just doesn't get it served for WEEKS? Meanwhile you're huddled up in a shelter, basically.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just very worried for you.

-AmI.

AMI,

I see your point. I don't see that happening.

Several reasons why.

First the TRO. Second he knows where she is. Third one time he picked them up he ended up leaving them with the neighbor.

He knows where she works and she has afforded him open communication.

Unless his lawyer is demanding through her lawyer to see the kids and her lawyer is saying no then she will be fine.

Even if she did "kidnap" the kids he would look even worse. Your kids were kidnapped and you didn't call the cops.

My lawyer told me to refuse to leave the house and told me to refuse to let her leave with the kids. I had to worry about flight as well and he told me if she leaves you call the police Immediately.

They might not file charges but you don't want it to seem ok she took the kids.

I don't think his lawyer is a stooge I just think that he sees what he has and knows what he can get.

No, STBX didn't know...the first weekend that STBX had the kids...the in-laws came down...I'm sure that when the laywer was hired or STBX was told to go to him when he got his papers...

If that's the case then I let the neighbor know that there was a verbal agreement b/t the two of us and then when I got on the phone I repeated the arrangement...

He can't say that I've kidnapped them...I have as much legal right to them as he does...besides my papers were filed the day that I left...stamped and sealed at the court house...I was issued the TRO that day! Just had to wait for it to go through the system to get my copy and STBX served...

THe TRO has been issued in the D papers...so from what I understand it's good until we are in front of a judge and he lifts it... It doesn't state how long it's good for...

It's cool, I understand...rant all you want...LMAO

I'm learning too! I believe that he will not agree to me using the house...I believe that STBX will use this to his advantage and get to stay in the house for another 6 weeks...

This is my worse case...best case, we move back in...

I'm expecting to get the call next week and not tomorrow...killing time...

STBX's A is next door to mine! I mean RIGHT NEXT DOOR!

See STBX is not one to air his dirty laundry..."I" don't have any problems talking about it...

It's my belief that STBX walked in that office and told his A that I had an A and he has a witness...that I am living with my lesbian lover and painted the picture that I'm the one who has done all of the dirt.

My A says "No, that's not what she claiming and she can call in witnesses to say that YOU started all of this mess." Plus, she has documentation, evidence, and your handwriting stating otherwise.

WOW...we might have to agree on something here!

I wanted to add that most of the people that STBX found was on Adult Friend Finder...so the fact that he signed up for Fling.com before I left is another strike against him...

I printed the webpage with his add and then, tore the page out of the book that he was hiding his password and userID in...just to make sure that I could link him to the site...

Remember he signed up for that the day after the BIG argument...

STBX is so screwed...lie all he wants..I included some of the bad things I have done in the past year...like the night I started hitting him...I didn't paint myself as perfect...

Because I'm not...I just have more PROOF and evidence than he does...

I am asking for prayers today for my kids and I...hoping that we hear today rather than next week for an answer...

I feel like our lives are in Limbo land, feeling that we are homeless right now...my kids deserve to be home, enjoying their own beds, their toys, their security...

(((((RIN & Boys)))))

Thanks AmI...I really appreciate the hugs!

It's also suppose to be STBX's weekend but I haven't heard from him since the 15th...

the 18th was his b-day and I asked the kids if they wanted to call and STBX didn't answer the phone...the kids left a VM saying Happy Birthday and that they loved him...

I'm going to call an ask my A about this also...

Well, my A called his and he will be picking up the kids this weekend...

So, it's just me and I guess I won't be hearing anything until next week...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

(((((((((((((((((((Strivn)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Lifting you& sons up,up, up in prayers........

Grace Like Rain!!!

His love 4 u never ceases <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />...His way is higher than ours! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> U r in His Wings!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Amazing Love

SB,

How great is that. You get a weekend for just you.

I bet you could use one about now. I bet you can think of lots of things to do this weekend, or nothing to do.

If I were you, I am not, but if I were. I would go to home depot and take one of the free courses they have. I know you like doing stuff like that.

Then I would go to the bookstore and read a book on one of he comfy chairs.

Then when the kids come home I would be refreshed and ready to go.

Enjoy your down time. Not having the kids stinks but you might as well make the best out of a bad sitch.

FNM,

Course I knew you were bantering from your prior post...LOL... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Couldn't help gettin sarcastic either myself... lol... as for frogs legs nahhhh, let the chef's blade handlers handle those webbies.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I sure have some fond old memories of catching them. LoL...
Until they squirt in your eye... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />