We do have a special relationship, a very close bond. I realize that she has a more significant bond with her son, and it is a risk. But she is also a grandmother, and she is greatly concerned about those innocent boys.

In addition, what I'm stating is what I have shared with her in the past, and she has agreed with. "Absolutely." was her response.

Further, she is not here. She only "hears" about WH, and has heard him herself on the few times they have spoken on the phone. All she hears is WORDS.

I feel comfortable sharing with her the FACTS...the actions that are totally inconsistent with his WORDS. He is IN NO WAY demonstrating that the boys are a priority. The facts back this up.

IMO, she is entitled to know the truth, as the grandmother of my boys.

It's been renamed Piestewa Peak now, after a young Hopi Indian woman who joined the U.S. Army and was killed in the Gulf War.


Sky Harbor and Chase Ball Park? (jes' kiddin')

So - tell me again why he's going to Phoenix? I mean, it's because his mother is a snowbird here and he's going to visit her for two weeks?

It's going to be 90 degrees all this week -
Mulan (desert dweller)

I'm PRAYING that the PRINCESS is right..

But, if you're thinking what I'm thinking, I'm suspicious about the trip, too.

I know, I know...

BUT -- my thinking and hoping on this was that Lilsis could fill up his schedule.

One night -- boy scouts
Another -- He has to take the boys so Lilsis can do her community service (he'd feel the guilt on that one!!!)
Another -- baseball practice.

It wouldn't be long before RT was LB'ing her head off!!!


(Agreed -- trip is fishy. Wouldn't be at all surpised to hear WH has "friends" to go visit while he's there. Going to golf with "friends", Spending a night or two at "friends".)

Yes, Mulan...his folks are snowbirds...just coming for a visit. He has lots of childhood memories there, as his cousins lived there.

I don't know, mimi, as much as I am also suspicious, I really can't think of a reason, or agenda, beyond what I've said. I've truly racked my brain. This trip is a no-go for A-land. If he sees it as a way to "win over" his folks, well, he's in for a rude awakening. Their feelings have not changed, they have not softened in their time in AZ.

Unless he's so clueless as to think that they have...or that he can convince them...that could be.

But it will be a fruitless venture if that's his intent.

If y'all are thinking out-of-town friends involve the TURD... wouldn't it simply be a matter of Lil Sis turning her head in the right direction when she drove by "the coffee shop" to see if the TURDmobile is parked there as normal?

I know, I know, Plan B and all that... but would a look-see hurt at this point as long as LS doesn't DO anything with the information?

No way on the "friends" thing. His mom was aghast when I suggested it. And if the ILs got wind of anything under the radar, they would blow a gasket.

RT has kids of her own, they are in school...I don't see how that could work. Plane tickets are expensive right now, too; there's no specials this time of year. I mean, what would she do...drive out there with him and be gone for the next two weeks, leaving her kids with her attorney XH? Put herself up in a hotel the entire time? That's an impossibility, really, financially and logisticly.

Ls..
when you say he ahas given NO idication to his parents that he has wavered AT ALL from his intended course...are you referring to his relationship w/ RT or his trip to visist them?

has MIL confirmed that he will be there for the amount of time he has told you he will be away?

what exactly has he said about his "intended course"?

Any chance he's thinking about moving there?

Sorry, nia. That was unclear. No wavering=from his intended course of action regarding d-ing me, being "in love" with RT, presumably making a life with her...although he hasn't stated this specifically to them. So I guess I don't know exactly WHAT his intended course is...he's not sharing that with anyone I know.

Yes, the timelines match up with regard to when they expect him and what he has told me.

I think its important to remember what makes sense to NORMAL people is not exactly what makes sense to WAYWARDS. This is all speculation, and there is no way to know what is going on with this trip. It's really not healthy in Plan B to deal with these things. I do agree with Mimi and others who have suggested that something may be up. As far is RT as concerned, who knows what her role in all of this is. She has proven herself to be cunning and manipulative. I would never underestimate the length she would go to accomplish her goal. Having said that, It's probably best to get off this road and take the next detour back into Plan B activities. I certainly would not suggest looking at the coffee shop. What happens if her vehicle is NOT there. It will drive you crazy trying to figure out if she's with him or not. I'd leave it alone and protect yourself from all of the drama. That is really what Plan B is about.

Do not underestimate the duplicity of WH and RT.

Yes, I do think she could/would make arrangements for the kids and meet WH there. Maybe she's driving with him and flying back. Maybe she's just going for a long weekend.
She'd be at her hotel -- WH will disappear to go visit "friends". WH will lie to mom and dad about who he's seeing, they will never know she's there.
Wouldn't shock me in the slightest.

By the way -- what was GF calling you about last night?

I agree with robertswife. This is not Plan B.

But it's so easy to start to speculate....to answer one last questions...no way on the move.

Union benefits, pension, salary...could NEVER be matched in a state like AZ, as desperate as they are for cops. It's a whole different ballgame.

I definitely agree with this, RW.

We should get off of this road swiftly.

But Sis, let it be said that I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE SHOCKED by something that may be up...especially when there's a need to protect your children.

thanks for the clarification.
you were not really unclear....i think too much.

none of it really matters right now anyway....forget about hima nd enjoy your time while he is away.

I'll plant the seed with MIL...but I think it would be highly suspcious if he were to stray from them too far or for any length of time. He knows no one there...no "friends."

And he just changed his plans to go there from Feb. to March about three weeks ago. She's be paying a fortune for a ticket. That just doesn't make sense to me at all. I know they are duplicitious, etc., but...I just don't see it as LIKELY.

GF wanted to go tubing with the kids. All that worry for nuthin'

Okay...back to PLAN B!!

Rest, relaxation, enjoy the boys!

PRAY.

Hi LilSis,
Another supporter here! Just a word of caution from someone who has been there. If WH doesn't call the boys and the boys don't mention calling Dad, I suggest (gently!) not bringing the subject up. Always let them ask to call him or let him take the initiative. This call didn't do any of them any good and it brought up feelings in you that aren't in line with Plan B.
I also agree with the comments regarding too much speculation. Plan B is your coccoon. Let it protect your feelings of love for your true H, for when his recto-craniotomy (sp?) is complete.
Best,
PF

Sorry for that non-plan-b interuption.

I'm getting into spring cleaning -- how about you?
Something about when the weather starts getting warmer...
Plus I have a graduation party to get ready for.

PF:
Yeah...I questioned whether or not to ask them about calling dad. My concern was that perhaps he had tried to connect with the via the intermediary on Sunday and it didn't "get through." (I had two messages from GF on Sunday and I didn't know at the time what it was in regard to.)

So it was a bit of a pre-emptive strike...I DO NOT want him to accuse me of hindering his relationship with the boys. Now I can rightly say that he made NO ATTEMPT to connect with them before he left, and as a matter of fact I TRIED to facilitate that happening, but he blew off DS8.

Believe me, I won't make that mistake again if it has the potential to hurt the kids' feelings.

I am a little sensitive to WH "accusing" me of things...he has done this repeatedly, making thinly veiled disparaging remarks about me and how I treat him, implying that I'm "nuts" or that I'm the one who is hurting the boys.

This was a little bit of CYA.

The feelings it brought up in me actually help me with Plan B...solidifying my belief that this guy is a STRANGER. I do not want HIM in my life. Still pulling for H to find his way home.