DELETE the account

with NO explaination

do NOT comment about this deletion to WH/RT/RT's Kids

this is part of OW's manipulation

she's wearing sheeps clothing .... but her wolf ears are showing

Pep

Absolutely! You have every right to do that. In that case, I agree, it is a deliberate attempt... by someone. I'm suspecting that someone is RT and not WH. Why? Because the email specifically mentions your WH giving him a rat. I'm wondering if this is the same rat that WH told your son died. I could see RT "gloating" about this but I can't see your WH deliberately hurting your S this way. Maybe he doesn't even know about the email. I could see this backfiring on RT. Hmmmmmm.... I definitely smell a rat (of the human variety.)

If WH doesn't know about the email and you bring it up to your attorney... RT's busted (if she's behind it.)

i like this idea!
but forward that email to your own account first....file it,don't loose it......it might come in handy soem day,ya never know.

Thanks, everyone. I've done a lot of crying...this email thing really upset me. I know we all deal with this...I WANT TO PROTECT MY KIDS!!! and this feels like such a violation. I do have a call in to my attorney...I have to talk to him about a couple of things, and so this will just go on the list. See what his take on it is.

Okay...the whole garden variety thing...I'm fine with that...it is good to hear that you all had the same experiences. I don't think I'm special or different...it's more wanting validation that this is "normal" (gag) WS behavior, because as Sadmo said, I've never personally experienced it, and I'm not always sure what "normal."

I also agree that it is irrelevant to MY actions and MY personal recovery. I am "happy" in Plan B, and look forward to continued growth. I often come on here just to help me process stuff (which writing allows me to do) and then to get your responses.

Again, you validated for me that it IS "normal" and plays to script. At least I can be assured that I just have a regular old WS on my hands, not some psychopath or some kind of severe personality disorder of another kind. KWIM?

Whether or not it was written by the boy....either way, it HAD to have been "encouraged" and facilitated by WH/RT. NO QUESTION!!! The boys haven't seen each other in over eight months. They are 11. Boys that age don't hold out for friends that they don't see or have contact with. They don't INITIATE contact. They don't SEEK OUT another kid's new email address.

At least DS11 doesn't. He has bunches of friends, and goes in spurts...several weeks with T, then hangs out with R, then with T and R, then with N, then back to T....it's not the BFF thing that I had when I was and 11 year old girl and had my one very very very very best friend.

It's soooo transparent. THAT'S why I see it as a violation of the spirit of the agreement between WH and I.

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm

KNOW WHAT???

Don't delete ... change the password ... so only YOU can get to it.

Evidence ... just in case.

Pep

Thank you, everyone. Such good advice.

Absolutely...I didn't mention it but completely planned on forwarding the email to myself and printing it out. It was emailed on Sunday, 3/18.

I will go through my attorney on this one...get his counsel before I do anything more than delete that particular email from DS11's .mac account.

I cannot delete the account...??? I don't think...it's just like any other account, all DS11 has to do is long on to mac.com and type in his password, just like a yahoo or anything else. All WH has to do is set up another one, and at least I have the password to this one...

I COULD probably adjust the settings to block ALL incoming emails except from WH. That way I could never be accused of inhibiting communication from WH.

That sounds like a good way to handle it...?? (Although all WH has to do is unblock, since it's under his account)

Or have your intermediary check the account, if she is willing. Offending emails can be sent to files for evidence, Dad's emails come through fine and you can't be accused of interferring with communications.

I'm interested in what your attorney has to say.

I'm sorry that you saw that but am glad you filtered it before your son did.

yes...yes!

did your WH TELL your son to check that email just last night?
if he did, i be it's becuse RT is expecting a response.
what a witch.

But since it's under WH master account...all he would have to do is change it to something else. I think I should just stay under the radar on this one....block all incoming EXCEPT from WH's address. I still have the password, so I could continue to check and make sure that WH hasn't unblocked...

PF: great idea!! I can have any emails OTHER than WH's forwarded to my email. Evidence.

nia: YES. WH SPECIFICALLY told DS11 to check his email (WH had--to his credit--emailed photos from AZ)

but READ them first, before your son ... Wh's likely to try to forward some chit ....

Pep

This is completely despicable and disgusting to use the kids in this manner. I hope your attorney recognizes the seriousness of this and does not minimize it!

this was OW at work ... NOT WH

cunning and manipulative, indeed

Pep

I totally agree. Let him stink away. Let your DS11 open a new account *with a different service* and make sure you monitor it.
Mulan

My thoughts exactly. Interesting that the boy decided to email when WH was out of town. Yeah, I smell a rat alright.

3/18, huh?
so WH was in Arizona.
he gave this boy a rat before he left....you KNOW RT encouraged (if she didn't write it herself) that....w/ the intent to hurt YOUR son....she is far worse than i thought.

I am left to wonder IF your WH knows about the email...and i can't help bu tto think he does.
maybe RT told WH that her son wanted to reach out to yours and he bought it...and that is why he mentioned to check the email.
or
it is a way to undermine your plan B!

for now....i would just check your DS email often...you said he doesn't do it much right.....she is expecting a response....may send another email....it will be good evidence.... for something

Well...here's what I did.

The .mac mail feature is pretty feature-less. The only thing I could do was have all DS11's emails forwarded to my address. I check my email CONSTANTLY so there's no worry that I won't catch something first so that I can go into DS's account and delete it.

Even if it comes from WH, I can check the content to make sure that WH isn't forwarding communicatins from RT's son. Not quite dark, but MUCH safer for the kids...and the stuff from WH to the kids is harmless and won't send me over the edge.

This way, it is unlikely that WH will know that I'm screening unless he goes into DS11's account and checks. If he does this and "un-forwards" it, I'll know....

I forwarded the obnoxious email to myself, filed it away, printed it out for good measure...and deleted it from DS's inbox, sent items and deleted items.

Still waiting to hear from my attorney, but I'm comfortable with this arrangement for now.

sounds good for now.
and remember...you have every right to have DS's emails forwarded to you.....he is 11! Don't feel defensive about that.

If WH didn't have a DIRECT role in this particular email, he was the only one who could have given the kid DS11's private email address.

If the kid had wanted to email DS11 of his OWN accord, he would have used the old email address.

My attorney just called. He said he'd be willing to give WH's attorney a call to tell him to knock it off...he agreed that it comes close to the edge of the spirit of the agreement. He said the other alternative would be for me to communicate this to WH (I could have intermediary do this)...but either way, my attorney is on board.

Reactions? Opinions?

I gotta run...an appt. with IC. Good timing.

I'd like to get my hands on that RT today...

She is symbolizing ALL THAT IS BAD about EVIL OW...

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