No...nia...absolutely not! I wouldn't do anything anytime soon. Just processing it all...

In case I forgot to mention it, my attorney DID say he would call WH's attorney on it if I wanted because he agreed it was not in the spirit of what we had agreed to. But no hurry there, either.

You are right, too...that I am not the bad guy here...but somehow WH would twist it that way...he's very good at that. He's GREAT at babbling in a PERFECTLY reasoned, reasonable, sensible tone (soothing cop to hysterical woman tone) so that even *I* don't recognize it.

shol: I got hooked. Is hook dodging a skill that you had to work hard to acquire...because I do not think it will come naturally to me unfortunately...did you?

Pep: Keep forgetting to respond to this...

I thought the same thing...I need to report this contact to my PO as a CYA. I wonder how they handle this kind of thing. I am glad that I reported it to my attorney right away, too.

My feeling is that there should be NO CONTACT between their household and mine...those boys are in MY CUSTODY and if I am legally prohibited from having direct or indirect contact with her than that should extend to our children as well.

MEDC???

I like this advice.

it's not the time to set a boundry.
think about it...it wouldn't really be setting a boundry to have your intermediary send him that letter right now....it would come off more like a tit for tat.....they don't see it as a boundry.....doesn't accomplish a thing.
ignore it...
keep the evidence for a later date....keep your attorney abreat of any emails or any other contact that they try....and i just have this feelign there will be something else.

THANK YOU !!!!

I was about to go nutz until you answered because it is very much a CYA issue ... and the PO might be the ONE who contacts TURD and sez:

CUT IT OUT

Pep

Me too. She (RT) is up to something.

Give it a few days....

Then respond through attorney...I think its a good message to send him that you're not going to be "friendly" about this crap.

Copy to parole officer (who will hopefully slap RT's hands for provoking you....) I think she is violating her own order...let the consequences begin...

TURD is trying to goad you into another confrontation

call PO to CYA

Pep

LilSis, give yourself a pat on the back. Your Plan B is working beautifully! RT is hurting - without LilSis to project all the blame on, her dysfunctional triangle is crumbling. She needs you back.

What's the one thing she thinks is guaranteed to get you roused? Yup, she found it.

Don't give the payoff she wants, or she will know she has a weapon, and she will use it again and again.

The point of any boundary is to protect your sons. You have lots of ways to do that without giving RT the attention she seeks. [color:"red"]The illusion here is that the boundary must be made visible to RT and WH...it doesn't. It just needs to be enforced.[/color]

If you don't respond, RT has no way of knowing what result her tactic had. She doesn't even know if she sent it to the right email address! That mystery will drive her nuts.

She will try again, and you won't know what direction the attack is coming from, ie you can't protect your sons from all possibilities. But if you don't respond, the more desperate the efforts will be, until eventually she'll go too far.

Put your boundary quietly in place, and go on with your life in peace.

TA

Agreed! Document it with your attorney and PO and then do nothing else. Lil Sis is the classy one here. Here's your chance to prove it.

Yep.

She'll keep trying and you can keep documenting.

Then we'll see who has the POWER.

And you can do it all under the cover of darkness..staying in Plan B. It's a win-win for you.

Actual recommended response: None.

Fantasy response: LilSis answers posing as her son. "Dear RTSon, sorry it took me so long to write back. My mom was out of state when you sent your email, and I was at my aunt's house...." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ("You said you were going by yourself to your family! You promised me SHE wouldn't be with you! You didn't even take the kids! Squeeeeeee, squeeeee, squeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!")

Bad Neak.

Let's go with Option #1.

Sis,

I'm going to go back to the communicative aspect of this email thing for you, for a little, wee bit of insight.

She had the right email address, because at some point, WH either purposely gave her the address or ----- it was included in another email in which WH emailed both RT or her son and your DS11, and being the cunning who*e she is, she caught on to the fact that she now had that address and could use it for her purposes. Either way, she now has the address. He could have "blind copied" the photos to her son on the very same email that he sent the photos to your son. You would never have known it - but she would have seen it.

Now, here's some "stuff" on the communication going on here.

Whether or not RT actually wrote the email herself? Doesn't matter - the likelihood is EXTREMELY high that she was there, however, if the word "sincerely" was spelled correctly. This particular word is almost always missing the second /e/ when spelled by 5th and 6th graders, simple fact (NOW, don't go asking how I know this junk!). Also, it would be highly unusual for a child this age to state his name and then say "so and so's son" to futher clarify. This is not a point of clarification used by children, but one used by adults who DO recognize that a length of time has passed between contacts and that the other person may require a bit of a tickle to remember the speaker. Unfortunately, the adult in this case does not understand that children would not do this, and that they remember playmates JUST FINE.

Dork.

So, yes, an adult assisted in writing this email, no doubt about it. There's more to it, but someone over 30 was there.

The motivation behind the email - you can take the community votes here to your local bank and expect dividends:

-RT needs to pull you back into the drama, because she doesn't know how to handle his withdrawal from YOU
-she is soooo hoping you will violate the RO
-she needs ammunition to prove to him that you are bad, and your Plan A is haunting him and SHE knows it
-she sees him slipping into "I'm an adolescent" mode too



Also, if you consider that your WH may have had something to do with instigating this email, then there are other factors to think about. But the overriding one is that this would be the one way he could get you to break Plan B, which is to upset you about your children. And he knows it.


So don't break Plan B over it.


Don't take the bait - because it is exactly what they expect, want, and NEED in order to keep the affair going. It is what it feeds on - drama.


I do agree with letting your PO know about this. As I understand ROs, they do work both ways. It isn't like you have to stay away from her but SHE can do anything she wants to you.....she also has to observe it. In other words, she cannot come to where you work and then claim you got too close to her in violation of the RO.

Actually, where I had inserted (RT's son) was just where he had put his first name, so the "son" part wasn't there.

As for the sincerely being spelled correctly...it might have been the signature line, because it had his first and last name, and it was a few extra lines down, a little lower than I would have expected.

What I thought was odd was "Your a good friend." (sic)

Huh? They haven't seen each other in eight months. This kid must be the biggest loser in school if DS11 is a "good friend." What's interesting is that is EXACTLY the phrase used by WH to convince DS11 time and time again to play with RTS when DS11 didn't want to.

Like his 10th birthday, he didn't want RTS there. "You have to invite RTS. He's your good friend!"

REMEMBER this TURD wrote a victim victim victim letter to the court

claiming to be "afraid for my life"

now her own son is sending correctly spelled "howdy-do I sincerely got a rat just like you" emails to the SON of the woman who scares her to death

this is a set up

this is also the "dead" rat

asswipestheybe

Pep

LilSis,

Hook dodging is something I continue to work on - daily. So much so that I started a whole journal in the form of a blog just to try to keep myself on track with it.

One thing that has become much easier, though, is recognizing the hooks. Fishermen are out dropping those lines in the water all over the place, all the time. It is interesting to watch how so many fish are tempted and give in to the lure (these fish references are kind of fi(u)n, LOL!).

I am much, much more at peace when I can recognize the bait for what it is and then simply swim away.

SHOL

Pep!

Good one!

SB!

Good one again!

The entire thing mirrors transference. Symbolic in many ways.

The end tag is tad odd " I am going to be ill" ???

Well LS, your blinders are coming off. And your well on your road too good health, and your sons.

Mean-spirited people do all sorts of things. Cry for help.

One day your wh will loathe her, when he wakes up.Sees clearly what this callous ow has done. Bails off her rat ship...

"I am going to be ill"

was
I believe

Sis's comment on how she felt reading the email

Hey Sis, been running around with the kid today, and work day was FULL. I just wanted to throw my hat into the ring for not contacting RT/WH, either through intermediary or lawyer right now. I would wait for more contact, more emails, more attempts.

I would do as others have said, and have this on record, with PO and attorney.

I wanted to comment on what you said about THREE pages back (Geesh, you are gone for one day and WHAMMO--three pages go wizzing by, crazy). You were wondering whether your WH had changed in such a way that he really just used RT as an exit strategy. I agree with Mimi on this one, he's a wayward. He's following a script. It's funny how I can see that in your WH, and I find it hard to see in mine, but it's true. He's got a bit part in the wayward play, and he's not standing out, he's just like all of the other bad actors roaming around the stage, trying to convince the audience that he's 'different' and a 'special' actor. Nah, he's B actor material, definitely.

Reading all of these NUMEROUS pages today has helped me to refocus. It's good to see how someone else's sitch is unfolding. It all makes sense.

oh, oh, oh...my mistake.

Maybe LS was reading her mind.

Yup.