believer: Yes, I actually got the impression that he has started to understand that he is in an sleazy affair and not a romantic relationship. He does not want to lie and I am thinking that maybe he realised that he had passed that border and that made him think and that may even be why he told the OW he will not se her secretly anymore.

From what I know I don't think the OW will divorce or leave her husband. That means that my man will not see her anymore. One reason I believe that is that I think he is really hurt by her behaviour and wants to protect his own feelings. In that case the affair is over now.

I have taken to heart that several persons here have advised me to move on. I have a plan for myself, I don't know if it is really moving on but I will keep seeing him as in plan A for a few weeks more. Than I will break contact for a few months and see how we both feel about that. I don't want him to come running back to me just because he is lonely. That will also give me time and space to think about what I want.

It would be good to make plans in your life as if he wasn't coming back. Then whether he joins you or not, at least you will be moving forward.

I think it is hopeful that he seems to be realizing that it doesn't make sense for her to say she loves your man, while continuing to live with her husband. Most WS's don't get that.