nia,
I will make a short answer here, but if you want to continue a discussion perhaps we should start a new thread. You stated and asked
we are having a difficult time. we have moved twice (for his work) in the last 2 years. Loads of stress.
lots of LBs on both sides.
The last was a very difficult move.
Our teen-agers are struggling w/ new school etc....honestly, I am not doing too well either...I realized i do not relocate well. I have a lot of anxiety.....I know i have not been easy to live with.
on the plus side for him..he likes his new job..... we do not like the area we live in or the school system or the house.....we put our junior in private school but need to make soem decisions about what to do w/ our DD, who will be in HS next year...I am dealing w/ lots of anxiety and guilt for moving them...again.
any insight will be helpful. thanks.
Well, I think I have lots to say. I will start by saying I spent my whole childhood moving, went to 14 schools before graduating HS, and three HS's. My sisters did about the same. My much younger brother did NOT move around much as my father retired from the military.
So with that in mind, in looking back over the years, I think the very very best thing that happened to me was the moving. Yup, it was hard to make new friends all of the time, to be the new kid in schools, to be behind in some subjects and ahead in others. But, learning all of that made a profound impact on my life and it was for the better.
I ended up much better educated, I found going off to college not to be a problem, I found finding good jobs wherever they were to be no problem. And I have had the pleasure of meeting on many occasions people that I knew or people that knew people I knew all over the world.
My W kids me to this day because in the spring I start to get antsy. It is a habit from when my father would come home with new orders and we were off to some other place in the world. It was exciting, it was fun, it was a major pain, but most of all I learned to adjust and function.
I think you are looking at this all wrong. You see it as a too do list, and an overwhelming one at that. You should see it as an opportunity to learn about a new place, new people, make new friends. Your children will be challenged on many levels but you are there to help them. What that means in the future is that they will need less help and will be far better and open to moving and changing.
I am sure your stress is affecting the marriage, and don't forget your H is under stress as well to perform in a new environment. Admit your stress to him, talk about his stress, and then decide to be each others stress release <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> , go out, make friends, see things with the kids, and ENJOY.
The alternative is to be overwhelmed and always looking back to where you were. Not good in my book.
Must go, but think about this. OK?
God Bless,
JL
