I met him at home for lunch and I said, if he wants a divorce he's going to have to get himself a lawyer and file for it his own dang self.<P>We're talking again at 4pm MST. Pray that I don't rip his head off, hollow it out and use it for a dog dish. (Well, you can think of nicer, more appropriate prayers on your own).<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

Ga:6:9: And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not<P>Just curious, what bible do you use?<P>Sorry to hear about your H.

Alright Lor! (I mean alright for giving it back to him)<P>Make him do it if he wants it so much. He'll only blame you for EVERYTHING if you do it.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A><p>[This message has been edited by Chris (CA123) (edited October 07, 1999).]

Lor, I agree, if he wants the divorce then he needs to be the one to file. I told my H the same thing when he told me to file, and guess what, he never did. He now says he only said it to see if I would!<P>BTW, I kinda like your prayer!! (Guess that shows how sick I am!)

Lor, I thought he was still home...I've been away and haven't been able to keep up with everyone. <P>while I filed for the separation, he knew it was only to protect me financially. Like you, I won't file for a divorce. If he wants it, he can do it. Good girl. You handled it well.<P>

Lor, was this his first divorce mention since the trip? In an e-mail?<P>I think his head is already hollow, but I'll pray for the rest!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Lor:<P>You, or course, handled yourself perfectly. Now, tell us what lead up to this latest turn of events and how we can help you work through it.<P>I agree with everyone else that if he wants a divorce then he should file. I would say that knocks down the odds of a filing occurring quite substantially. When you get together, I would just assure him of your love (for the millionth time), your commitment to work things out, and your assurance that you will do everything in your power to make him happy in the marriage. If that's not enough, then it's up to him to end things.<P>In the unlikely event that he does actually file for divorce, I would say it's time for Plan B or Last Resort and let him experience what divorce is really like, since I'm convinced he has absolutely no clue.<P>I'm sorry for the continuing roller-coaster. You're such a together person to do this well under these circumstances.

Lor (Lor),<P>You have prayers. I'm on my knees. Praying the Holy Spirit gives you words to speak AS you need them. <P>

You have my prayers too... and you made me LOL at the dog dish!!!<P>Maybe you could put melon balls in it for a party??<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Thanks for the support.<P>Paul, I got the Gal 6:9 I use out of YOUR HUSBAND MIDLIFE CRISIS, I'm not sure what translation the author used, Amplified maybe?<P>My H has been living at home since Aug 14. He had planned on moving out after we returned from Disney World Sept 26, but we had such a great time he didn't. Once home, he became distant again. I've just Plan A'd, he's been accountable for his time, at home when not at work, even 90% of lunch times. He did see her at work this weekend. I suppose withdrawal kicked in again. He just thinks he'll never change, never be able to give back what I give him, loves & cares for me--but it's missing that "zing". So, today he emailed me about divorce, even though he spent 15 minutes hugging me in bed this morning and when he left for work told me to "have a great day."<P>At 4 I think my plan of action will be to lay out Plan B, set up his visitation with the kids, check the financial situation...<P>Any other suggestions?<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

Dear Lori,<P>I just called in for prayer for you (and for me again.... )<P>I am happy you have a plan, I don't have any suggestions, except that maybe you sit with your husband and start out the conversation after a prayer, and ask God to be with you both as you discuss this again. <P>God bless you,<BR>M4B

Okay, (deep breath). I'm settling down. First I cried for an hour, then became absolutely FURIOUS, uh, hence the first posting.<P>New Beginning--melon balls! How wicked you are.<P>MM4B, are you sure you don't want to come live with me? I have double stuff Oreos...<P>Got to run the kids to lessons before the clock strikes 4...<P>I've just got to remember, no throwing up, no (more) whimpering, no wrapping myself him around the leg as he's walking away (gee, and those are the GOOD good memories of the other times he's left me).

Lor - I'm adding more prayers. BTW, I want a PICTURE of the dog dish. <P>Lori

There is an alternative, although at this point I don't know if I could personally do it or recommend it. Here goes - you could just ignore that anything happened today. I say that because we all know that he is caught with indecision and couldn't even say this to you live (e-mail?). Could he say it to your face without you initiating? We also know that he swings like the wind, so comments from early today could already be gone. By having the discussion, you make it more real.<P>Just a thought. On the other hand, you've already given him so much slack that you must want to drive to a decision by now. Unfortunately, if you press the decision right now, you won't get the outcome you want (he'll leave again).<P>I have this major problem about being solution, fix-it oriented instead of supportive. I need to reread the 5 Love Languages and John Grey to really fix this. Could you just get him to talk and work on practicing your uh-hums today?

How about reiterating your commitment to the marriage and your love for him, then saying "If you have decided on divorce, then I will do my best to let you go with loving kindness and friendship."<P>No way you should file for divorce! But arguing with him won't get you anywhere. He may just be surprised when you agree to let him go. You can still drag your heels to slow down the process. But don't set yourself up to be the enemy.

Reiterrated (sp?) my love, commitment, "Are there any changes we could make that would make it easier for you to stay?"<P>Nope.<P>But he took me out to supper. And just poured me a glass of Chardonnay...what the hey...he's not leaving tonight, he says....

Well, he's not leaving tonight. I'll drink to that! <P>We aren't giving up yet, Lor. Hounding that throne of God for you! <P>

Lori, <P>I'm so sorry he's being such a bonehead. Sheesh - what is going through his head? I wish we could look inside and see that ...<P>{{{{{{{{{{Lor}}}}}}}}}}<P>terri

Lor -<BR>Agree with Terry - sorry he's such a bonehead. I really don't have anything further to add -I'm confused too.<P>Big hugs Lor - how are you today?<BR>

Lor-I am down on my knees praying for both of you to do what is right. How are you today? May God watch over you right now......God Bless!<BR><P>------------------<BR>Chick's <BR>Bren<P>You won't see things until your ready to not be blind!<P><BR>