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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 326
J
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Posts: 326
Bob Pure wrote:
Quote
By contrast the BS loses everything in a millisecond. EVERYTHING. Hope, trust, love, faith, future, past, breath. EVERYTHING. We are TRULY and UTTERLY broken : dysfunctional: hopeless. Helpless.Loveless. Godless. Dead but walking.


That's what it feels like. Exactly.

That's the reason I don't want to read this thread, it's religious debate, this haggle over whether or not rape is a good analogy. Bob Pure has said everything that needs to be said on the point - I agree wholeheartedly with his approach to the situation.

I don't know what it feels like to be raped, but I do know how it feels to be EMOTIONALLY RAPED.

I'm still emotionally raw over the things that have occurred in the past few months in my own story. While I feel sadness for JJ's situation, I have less sympathy for it than any other story. I offer my sympathy in the same breath that I sign the petition to move this thread to another forum.

I would not have wanted to read this as a newly betrayed. I don't want to read it now.


BS (Me) - 33 WW - 31 Married 14 years, together 17 Daughter: 16 yrs old Separated: 12/29/06 D-Day: 2/2/07, EA/PA With Co-Worker Plan B Started: 3/6/07 D filed by WW: 4/18/07 Olive Branch offered (Plan B resumed after): 8/8/07 R Attempt by WW: 9/1/07 NC Established: 9/4/07 NC Broken: 9/5/07, 9/6/07 Status: Plan B, Pt. II (9/10/07)
Joined: May 2002
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Quote
That's the reason I don't want to read this thread,


Jayban - with all due respect, and with all due empathy for your feelings (having been there myself 5 years ago), take this bit of advice to heart....

Don't read this thread or any thread that causes you to feel emotional pain and unrest.

No one forces you to read anything, so exercise your God given right to CHOOSE, and don't read anything that is upsetting to you.

Many are the people I have advised who are beginning recovery to restrict their reading and posting to the Recovery Forum for just that reason. They are too emotionally raw to handle the emotional onslaughts of the JFO and GQ II boards.

God bless.

Joined: Sep 2005
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FH... I thought you were done posting here. Your advice to Jayban is ridiculous! YOU should not have posted it here... a person doesn't know what they are reading until they start the thread. You really have gone off the deep end with your justifications and excuses on this thread... and then when two people... relative newcomers... expressed angst over the handling of the thread, you come up with excuses about what they should do differently.
You just don't get it FH.

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 10,107
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The book of Psalms 34:18 says : "The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

The book of FH apparently says : "The Lord gave the broken hearted a forced lesson in forgiveness, and if they were hurt by it, it wasn't his fault they didn't have to listen: they could go somewhere else or plug their ears once they realised it was going to hurt".

FH is what you're doing REALLY in the spirit of Psalm 34:18 ? Are you really saving those ( plural,not singular) who are crushed in spirit with your captive public "enablement" of justjilly in this sanctuary ?


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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
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Quote
Jayban - with all due respect, and with all due empathy for your feelings (having been there myself 5 years ago), take this bit of advice to heart....

Don't read this thread or any thread that causes you to feel emotional pain and unrest.


FH ~

With all due respect, why are you continuing to rub salt into the fresh wounds of the BS by CONTINUING ON WITH THIS THREAD???

Jayban is here for support.... and unfortunately, especially for newbies, by the time they realize that they have stumbled upon a disgusting, BS back-stabbing thread, it's too late. They've already read it. I'm not even a newbie, and that happened to me.

FH, you and I have disagreed on a number of things. I have still learned a lot from you and thought you had a lot of good things to say. Your stance on this thread is freaking me out.

Let me put it this way, FH....

Let's say your wife decides, tomorrow, that she really is done with your M and runs off and marries OM.

Five years down the road, OM is here, asking for help because YOUR WIFE is cheating on HIM. Let's take it a step further and say that you had no idea it was HIM you were posting to. Would you really want to be giving advice to your wife's affair partner on how to save the sham of a marriage he is in with YOUR WIFE?????

Come on, FH...wake up. This is foggy thinking at it's worst.

Sorry if this is harsh, I have been losing sleep over this thread.

It is THAT PAINFUL to BSs.

And I keep praying for you, FH, that you snap out of it. I keep hoping that I will see some good signs that you are "getting" it ~ that you can truly EMPATHIZE (that is, really put yourself in the shoes of the BSs around here), and support THEM, the ones trying to save LEGITIMATE, God-sanctioned, God-ordained marriages. The ones suffering through the most intense pain ever, who are floundering around day and night, wondering when their lives will be put back together.

NOT the ones who helped inflict the incredible pain and torment on those very BSs.


[medc ~ I read your post after I wrote mine. They compliment each other perfectly].


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
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