Jayban - with all due respect, and with all due empathy for your feelings (having been there myself 5 years ago), take this bit of advice to heart....
Don't read this thread or any thread that causes you to feel emotional pain and unrest.
FH ~
With all due respect, why are you continuing to rub salt into the fresh wounds of the BS by CONTINUING ON WITH THIS THREAD???
Jayban is here for
support.... and unfortunately, especially for newbies, by the time they realize that they have stumbled upon a disgusting, BS back-stabbing thread, it's too late. They've already read it. I'm not even a newbie, and that happened to me.
FH, you and I have disagreed on a number of things. I have still learned a lot from you and thought you had a lot of good things to say. Your stance on this thread is freaking me out.
Let me put it this way, FH....
Let's say your wife decides, tomorrow, that she really is done with your M and runs off and marries OM.
Five years down the road, OM is here, asking for help because YOUR WIFE is cheating on HIM. Let's take it a step further and say that you had no idea it was HIM you were posting to. Would you
really want to be giving advice to your wife's affair partner on how to save the sham of a marriage he is in with YOUR WIFE????? Come on, FH...wake up. This is foggy thinking at it's worst.
Sorry if this is harsh, I have been losing sleep over this thread.
It is THAT PAINFUL to BSs.
And I keep praying for you, FH, that you snap out of it. I keep hoping that I will see some good signs that you are "getting" it ~ that you can truly EMPATHIZE (that is, really put yourself in the shoes of the BSs around here), and support THEM, the ones trying to save LEGITIMATE, God-sanctioned, God-ordained marriages. The ones suffering through the most intense pain ever, who are floundering around day and night, wondering when their lives will be put back together.
NOT the ones who helped inflict the incredible pain and torment on those very BSs.
[medc ~ I read your post after I wrote mine. They compliment each other perfectly].