well she has already filed for divorce 3 months ago, she already was/is very angry. I just could not stand and watch the affair continue, without me saying anything to the OMW. The is such a small chance of salvaging our marriage, but I will not go down without a fight.

Again, I have no contact with my WS, she had filed a temp restraining order filled with crap, so I would not talk to her and so that she would have the house during the divorce. we are in the middle of the divorce and both have things going through the lawyers. I'm taking my time with that.

I don't have any delusions that this is going to save the marraige, my WS, has to make that choice. I've already have chosen the marriage and agree with your mantra.

I felt so ashamed and hurt by this divorce I could barely talk about the WS affair to other people, it felt like somehow I was talking bad about her.

I've recovered a bit from the shock and awe of it, and now just want the truth to be known. Thanks for all your encouragement

I don't know where things will go from here. Lot's of prayer needed.

God Bless

I know what your saying about telling people Ryan. But I got over it pretty quick.

"So where's Wayzilla?"

"Oh she had an affair with Gollum at work, moved out and filed for divorce. These little meatballs are great."

A real conversation stopper.

Well everyone. That moved pretty quick! Talked with OMW on the phone for about a 1/2 hour today. Went real well and I am so glad I did it. Thanks everyone for the encouragement. She had suspicions but didn't know the truth. She now knows and thanked me for telling her. Glad that is off my back. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Good job!!! You are showing that you are an honorable man. Now get ready to batten down the hatches. Your wife will get word, and be even more furious. She will say you are crazy, it's none of your business, how could you hurt the OM's family, this is the last straw, blah, blah, blah.

You might want to go get some popcorn for the show.

And do watch for sneak attacks from the OM. We had one lady here that was assaulted by the cheating wife when she told the husband. Be on alert.

Good for you, P3.

BTW, I got a ride once on a certain bird flying from a place called Thule north over a lot of ice. Can you relate? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I think the world of believer, but that lady who was hurt is the only instance of such a thing I've heard of in 2 1/2 years of lurking and posting here. I wouldn't be too concerned.

I think the world of you too, Longhorn. And you are right - she was the only one who had a problem out of thousands of exposures. But I felt bad at the time. OM's wife blindsided her with a poolstick in the parking lot at K-Mart as she was getting out of her car.

She ended up having surgery on her face. Of course it did ensure no contact, as she and hubby sued OW.

BLESS You P3 Ryan !! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Like the OMW:
I thank you for your courage and your Actions. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

I hope it makes a difference in your situation as well. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

(Although we'll never know what effect it could have had Before your W got into the getting a D mode).



Indeed the fear and worry (about the "what if") can be crushing and paralyzing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

But it does feel so much better just to have it done and over with. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Especially (when as most times it is) ....the OPS really has no concrete Idea what was going on ......unfortunately just like us before D-day.

Thank God. Finally a man with some nads. I was getting disgusted with the recent lot of scairdy cats and wimps around here. It is never EASY to do the right thing, but what seperates the men from the boys are the ones who do the right thing no matter how hard. GOOD MAN! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You crack me up MelodyLane! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> -And your right! All of you are right! I'm am so glad I did it. Like I said, the OMW did call me today and it went well, it was the right thing to do. She is now in the truth, and her suspicions are confirmed. I only wish I would have done it sooner, maybe when it would have made more of a difference.

I do expect some sort of backlash, but I don't have any contact with my wife anyways because of her choice with the crap temp restraining order. I'm guessing she'll fight back through her lawyer, but that isn't in her interest either. We have few assets and mostly debt. We have no kids and we both make the same amount of money. Technically, we would have a simple divorce, if that's what she wants.

I did ask the OMW if her WS might want to come after me for exposing the affair. She said he's a coward and avoids confrontation. From what I know about OM that's true, but yet, I'll be keeping an eye out for blind-sided poolsticks in my face. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I believe in faith, hope, and love. These are all choices that we make. I can choose to forgive my wife. I can be healed from this. I know where my hope comes from. I only wish my WS would see that, and choose that for herself.

Thanks for all your support and prayers everyone! You have no idea how much each of your words impacted me, helped me get out of my indecision, overcome my fears, and do what is right and just. I'm grateful!


(Chrisner, your posts made me laugh in the sheer honesty flavor you presented them in. Your awesome! The quote,

"Expose to if you want to save your marriage. Otherwise you have the best seat in the house to watch your own humiliation and the end of your marriage."

This really caught my attention and will be something I never forget! )

Well a backlash has hit for me exposing the affair, but in a way I didn't expect.

My WW actually had the foolishness of emailing the OMW in attempt to ruin my credibility for exposing the affair. Her entire email to the OMW consisted of trashing me, and trying to create a sense of fear in the OMW -by trying to make me look like a vengeful crazy abusive person.

My WW will do anything, lie about anything, and totally crap on me to keep this fantasy affair going. She is living such a lie, I can't even imagine how someone could live that way. I don't get it.

I very much doubt that the OMW is going to think you are nuts.

But she will VERY likely think your wife is!!!

Wow....that takes a pair, to actually try to sway the OMW (her victim!!) to her point of view.
Unreal!

It is unreal! I read the email my WW sent the OMW. My jaw dropped to the floor. I don't know how a person I loved and respected for 7 years could do this! It's insane! It was very stupid of her to do! She made herself look like a fool!



Believer's post was spot on, except in my case, the WW tried to sway the OMW and say I'm crazy.





Trying my best to deal with the hurt and pain. Got my popcorn in hand. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />