There are too many to count who have been there, W2BF. I am one of them.

I have been there and here's how I handled it: THE WRONG WAY. You seem he11-bent on doing the same thing. Oh, I got the job done eventually, but in the meantime I screwed up a lot of lives, including mine.

You've known the right things to do for three years -- when will you do them? Do you want to prolong the agony, or listen to what we're telling you and END the agony?

I just sent it, I feel like I'm going to throw up.
He sent an email asking me to call him later....I just sent the email instead.....

Good, W2BF!

I'll be checking in here tomorrow... and hope to read that you DID NOT CALL HIM.

Good, maybe I don't have 2 wait 3 years 2 see how you're doing.

What exactly did you say?

-ol' 2long

Good.

Now call your Pastor and ask him to be availiable TONIGHT to meet w/ you and your BH.

Don't stop now.

Don't hesitate.

Keep the ball moving.

Tell your BH.

TONIGHT!

~ Marsh

OM,
You said I have to make my life right. I've lied, deceived and committed adultery. I regret sinning, I regret committing adultery. I am saying goodbye to you. I will not contact you again, please do not contact me.

Pastor is out of town until tomorrow. I have sent an email and I will be at church tomorrow, we should be able to talk then.
I will not tell H until I speak with my pastor, I've already stated this.

"I just sent it,"

HOO RAH! <Sounds of a large crowd of angels applauding>

"I feel like I'm going to throw up."

((((W2BF))))

This too shall pass...

Now:
Don't give in
Don't accept his calls
Don't open any emails from him
Don't open any letters from him

Do call your pastor
Do keep praying that God will heal you and your marriage
(You know He wants to)
Do come here and ask for help when it seems too much to handle alone
Do continue on the journey you have begun

I'm proud of you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mark

This is another thing I am "repeating after you"

GREAT NEWS!!! GOOD GIRL...Today is the beginning of a new life WTBF...You just took the first step toward regaining your integrity...Keep moving...Feel good about this and KNOW that this is the beginning of living as God wants you to...MANY ABUNDANT BLESSINGS ARE PROMISED FOR DOING THAT...It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is, kwim?

Mrs. W

Thank you all for your support. I will have to read this thread several times to get everything that's been said.
I know I have done the right thing. I have my copy of the email to OM and to my pastor. Now I wait to meet with pastor, but atleast I can go home tonight and know I did something really right today. Thanks again

W2BF...DO NOT DISAPPEAR ON US...You need to be here reading and posting daily for a long while...Nine years is a very long time to be in the wayward mindset, it will take a long time to undo..Stick around, we'll support you!

Mrs. W

Sorry, didn't mean to imply I was leaving, there's just been alot of posts here and I wanted all to know I appreciate it..I'm not going anywhere. I don't have anyone to talk to....pastor and one friend was the only people who knew what was going on....I definately need others speaking truth and encouragment right now.

So glad to hear that you'll be sticking around! This place has been a Godsend for Mr. W and I! W2BF, I would strongly recommend counseling with the Harleys for you and your husband...Is that something that you would be willing to do?

Mrs. W

Mrs. W,
I have not explored counseling with the Harley's, but will keep it as an option.
It is now my "designated time" to call OM.....I'm not calling, I hope he won't call....I still feel sick....I know I am responsible for my part in the A, but I feel really bad and can only imagine how he is feeling, what he must be thinking....
I have so much to gain and I feel like I pulled the rug out from under him....
W2BF

WTBF:

You will get a number of attempted contacts from the OM.

YOU MUST IGNORE THEM

I applaud you in sending the e-mail.

Now, mark his email address as SPAM.
Turn off your Cell Phone.
If you are the HR Department at work, make sure you have caller ID on your office phone.
Hang UP if not.

And when you tell your H, let him help you.

Because it made all the difference in the world for me....

LG

W2BF...Here is a link to a thread by Mortarman, a wonderful Christian male poster...I think that you would gain much from reading it... The Roles of Husbands and Wives

I know that you have many uncertain feelings going on right now-feelings change, they are fickle...use logic and reason and your faith...Keep your focus on God...I have had times where I've been in such turmoil that I couldn't even keep my thoughts together enough to pray a coherent seeming prayer, but God knows...Keep that in mind...Sometimes I will just pick up the Bible, open it randomly and begin reading...It really does help...(((W2BF)))

Mrs. W

W2BF -


Yes, you have a lot to gain. A lot to gain for yourself, your kids and your husband. Your honor, your integrity and your family. Please focus on that.

Any rug that has been pulled out from under the OM is a rug that he chose to stand on. He has made his own choices, just as you have. Let him deal with the consequences of his chioces.

You ARE doing the right thing. Focus on what you need to do next to begin healing - both yourself, and your marriage.

If he does call, please, please, please do NOT answer. Do not talk to him. You will just make it that much harder for yourself to begin moving forward.

You can do this. You've taken a bigger step in 24 hours than you have in the last 3 years - keep on building your momentum. Ask God to give you strength to resist the enemy, and post here on the forums if you're feeling tempted or weak.

Remember - you can do this.

W2BF...

Call the Harleys and make an appointment...Again, because this affair has gone on for so long, it has become more than just an addiction, it has become habit...You are gonna need as much support as you can get...Use every resource available to you...Please give them a call...

Mrs. W

LG, Mrs. W. and HB,
I will keep focusing on what the truth is, not my truth, but Gods...
OM has not called! Thank God. I prayed and asked God to put a hedge of protection around me and to not allow any calls, He has answered.
I leave work in 15 minutes and will be able to get back on line at home for awhile.
I will also be having a real long conversation with God...Thanking him for all he's done...and thanking him for the support here and how He's healed families.