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Just wanted to post the rest of Weaver's post... To me it just seems like another dirty little secret between you and OM. A power play on your part would be the most negative way I would view it and an attempt that falls short of really coming clean as the most positive.
Of course I was once somebody's nasty little secret so maybe I am hyper sensitive to insincerety.
Time will tell though, and others here certainly sense sincerety. So maybe the first step, although out of proper sequence is still the first step. I guess I must be hyper sensitive to it too. I wished she had told her BH first as well. She's put him inside an abuser's box and won't consider his being anything other than that. She said her pastor has been "helping" them for years. Leaving out her on going A must have made him look to be the cause of most of their M problems. I'm still not buying her story that she doesn't feel safe enough to tell her BH what she's been up to. She felt safe enough to take a chance that he might catch her cheating on him. ~ Marsh
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I consider her a likely troll for now... until something changes.
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Marsh,
What instigated you to take personal inventory in your life? Pep injected something from "People of the Lie" about this and I have been thinking of my own experience and wondering why some people do and some people don't.
You did it obviously, Mr. Pep did it, I did it... but I don't know what the common denominator is.
For me it was pain, probably brought about by the grace of God.
Why are some people not visited by the same grace? Is what I call their ego, and others call "evil" just too big or dominant in them? Like the ego over-riding the soul. I mean it would seem that we all have this higher self fighting always to be known, so why is it sqelched so good in some people? Like my ex or the people who Peck described as always leaving chaos and confusion in their wake.
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I s'pose. but don't you ever wonder why, if we were all created in the image of God, and if creation leaves not it's source... Oh never mind, no need to even go there. I'll shutup before ol' 2long starts asking me what kind of astroturf I am smoking. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Why are some people not visited by the same grace? I have no idea .... knowing this may not be our business... ????
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Why are some people not visited by the same grace? I believe that the grace is AVAILABLE to all, but that *all* do not accept it. As with any gift, there is the giver and the receiver... and if the reciever never holds out his/her hands, the gift will not be received.
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What have you been smokin', weaver?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> 2late, I found it! And then I think of Appy and others like him who have lived it as well, been on the receiving end and well, it's sad all right, but for the real victims. The ones who have to stay married because of their religious beliefs and family responsibility. As you know, I won't be a victim. Even in adversity - and believe me, this fight with my SIL is getting 2 be very adverse - I have my PON moments. I was describing one of these 2 appy and Spacecase on iloveulove.com yes2rday: This morning, after that rant, when she was laying on her side, facing away from me, I stroked her hair (she used 2 say that it helped when I did that when she gets these migraines), and pondered and sort of narrated the way the light was coming through the stained glass window in our bedroom and painting light thingys on the wall.
I kid you not, I was way 2 peaceful 2 be affected by her latest. Of course, if I'd been expecting some sort of response from her, I'd have been pretty disappointed. But since I wasn't, I wasn't!
I do sometimes wonder what life would be like if I could spend it with someone who can love life, love themselves, and who knows? Like me a tad? She's up north for work 2day and 2morrow with my daughter. 2day's my son's birthday. I ordered a bunch of parts for the Model A for him this week, and 2nite I'm taking him 2 his favorite greasy burger place for dinner. This sa2rday, we're setting up a Hidef tv projector and DVD player, and ginormous screen in the entertainment room we're setting up in the attic, and we're going 2 treat him and his friends 2 "Children of Men" - sort of a cross between BSG and "Saving Ryan's Privates" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />. We all saw it in the theater, and we all like it. Michael Cain plays a great 21st-cen2ry hippie throwback, and it's probably the first movie I've ever seen that plays almost the entire song: "In the Court of the Crimson King: including The Return Of The Fire Witch and The Dance Of The Puppets" by King Crimson (no jive, that's the full title). Great stuff, though I apparently have digressed! -ol' 2long
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I have no idea .... knowing this may not be our business... ???? Proably not, but is our business to identify and avoid these people though, not that it's all that hard to do anymore. Hi N_B! So good to see you posting lately. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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Why are some people not visited by the same grace? Is what I call their ego, and others call "evil" just too big or dominant in them? Like the ego over-riding the soul. I mean it would seem that we all have this higher self fighting always to be known, so why is it sqelched so good in some people? I think my W, or anyone like you describe, isn't visited by this grace until (or if) they face their demons and cast them out... Gee, I sound almost biblical! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I think my W has the capacity for grace, but not until she's dealt with the consequences of her past choices. -ol' 2long
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Hi N_B! So good to see you posting lately. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hi weaver! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Yeah, and I frankly have very little time to devote to my usual longies (posts, I mean <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />), so I've turned into a bit of a drive-by poster... Nice to see you, too!
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The "Tech" part of "Techie" wants to come out <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Sometimes, you have to get creative with URLs, and tweak them, for best results. http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/dos...&fromprof=1should work for anyone, to see all of Waking Up's posts.
Last edited by techie; 04/05/07 01:09 PM.
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NOPE did not work but nice try !!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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For me it was pain, probably brought about by the grace of God. This was pretty much it for me too. I seriously thought I was losing my mind. I guess I was. Had to sort through all the lies I believed. Had to. Didn't realize how many had been tucked away for so long. I'm still searching for more of them. In a way, I'm ALMOST thankful for my A, b/c it forced me to face things I couldn't/wouldn't before. ~ Marsh
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*blink* well that's very odd. i noticed that the url that marshmallow TRIED to quote in this thread, got truncated. but the full thread url that you posted, on the recent thread, seems to work better. SO, just to bring things full circle, I'll pull that one into this thread as well, and attempt to shortcut the whole search thing <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> This should lead to a thread from Waking Up, titled, "Question for a WW from a WW " http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubb...8&an=&page=&vc=1
Last edited by techie; 04/05/07 12:49 PM.
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yep that one works.... but not your search results
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My H is mindful that his A got him into AA <~~~ which has saved his life in many ways .... but the word "thankful" is not quite right
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In a way, I'm ALMOST thankful for my A, b/c it forced me to face things I couldn't/wouldn't before.
~ Marsh I respect that you feel that way, but I can't imagine a time when I will say that... The shame is something I will carry to my grave... Understand, it's not an active daily shame... I do forgive myself... but I will always be ashamed that I did it... ... and frankly, I *was* introspective before... just hideously, selfishly stupid to think I could be unfaithful and be better for it. I will never say that. Did I grow? I guess so. But the cost, for me, was far too high.
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My H is mindful that his A got him into AA <~~~ which has saved his life in many ways .... but the word "thankful" is not quite right I agree. That's why I said ALMOST. What's a better word for it? ~ Marsh
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donno <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> make up or invent a word Marsh !!! LOL
Last edited by Pepperband; 04/05/07 01:09 PM.
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