|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
I am truly grateful for the lessons I've learned. That isn't the same thing as being thankful that Rat Meat interfered with our lives for so long. But it is an acknowledgment that the lesson probably could not have been learned any other way.
I think my W is "thankful", though. And prema2rely so, IMO, because she hasn't jettisoned the fond memories... ...yet.
-ol' 2long
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
I do sometimes wonder what life would be like if I could spend it with someone who can love life, love themselves, and who knows? Like me a tad?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...someone who could like you a tad? Geeseopete 2long, that sounds so sad. That's why all the ladies get so danged angry about your W on here. It's the mothering instinct coming out in us. What an effin waste. Marsh, It just occured to me with 2longs statement of refusing to be a victim, and your post...one of the factors in people who do the inner inventory... We refuse to be vicitms, of either ourselves or others. I am thankful for my ex too, because I was in so much pain those five dark years I had to find a way to turn it around. I had to find a way to find happiness. He left me though, I don't believe I would have been able to find my way out to leave him. It was too dark there. I hate being a victim...I will find anyway I can to turn it into an advantage. And what I hate as much as pain and feeling like a victim is feeling angry. And some people, can't stand even the slightest uncomfortableness so they live on the shallowness of life...never looking too closely inside. What they find, if they look honestly enough might be more than they can handle. SH said somewhere that some people couldn't stand the realization, so they have this defense mechanism that won't allow them to internalize anything. I believe some will resort to scripture, and mouthings of God even surrounding themselves in religious community in an attempt to find grace or the light they know somewhere exists but alludes them...but it is shallow and empty, and doesn't work for some reason. But then for others it does, and for others they find that grace quite by accident. Somebody on here describes it as providence, the accident part of it. When providence doesn't help out with the consequences of their actions part, then I don't know what.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 936 |
[color:"blue"] yep that one works.... but not your search results [/color]
Grmblegrmble... edited higherup one, think fixed it now. i trimmed it TOOmuch before.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862 |
donno <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> make up or invent a word Marsh !!! LOL Thankshamed??? ~ Marsh
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862 |
I am truly grateful for the lessons I've learned. That isn't the same thing as being thankful that Rat Meat interfered with our lives for so long. But it is an acknowledgment that the lesson probably could not have been learned any other way. I'm not glad/thankful I did it. But, yes, I believe I couldn't have learned the lessons I had in any other way. I think my W is "thankful", though. And prema2rely so, IMO, because she hasn't jettisoned the fond memories... ...yet. I have no fond memories. ~ Marsh
Last edited by Marshmallow; 04/05/07 01:26 PM.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862 |
[color:"blue"] yep that one works.... but not your search results [/color]
Grmblegrmble... edited higherup one, think fixed it now. i trimmed it TOOmuch before. It worked! Well done! ~ Marsh
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
My H is mindful that his A got him into AA <~~~ which has saved his life in many ways .... but the word "thankful" is not quite right Thankful is the word I would use Pep, because as you know the incidious, cancerous effects of alcoholism on a spouse, a family...and it extends outwards to everything and everyone touched by it. Not a lot of alcolics find their way to sobriety, and more importantly recovery, in the way your H sounds like he has. It would have affected you, your children and your childrens children...his affair and subsequent sobriety may have just saved your life as well. Because of the depressivenees of the disease on the family you may not have been able to leave him if it had gone on much longer. But I won't say thankful for the affair, maybe that is a bit much...I will say thankful for a series of events that led him to seek help and sobriety.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Feb 2002
Posts: 10,816 |
I do sometimes wonder what life would be like if I could spend it with someone who can love life, love themselves, and who knows? Like me a tad?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...someone who could like you a tad? Geeseopete 2long, that sounds so sad. That's why all the ladies get so danged angry about your W on here. It's the mothering instinct coming out in us. What an effin waste. Well, I was being a tad sarcastic with Spacecase when I said that. Yes, I'd love 2 be loved all mushy and [censored], but I believe that my W is capable of that someday, once she learns 2 truly respect and love herself. In the meantime, I'm not in any emotional pain, I just persue other than romantic interests for now. I hang in there because I believe that I can be helpful in my W's continuing struggle through withdrawal, which JL warned me 5 years ago was going 2 take years because her A lasted so long. While she struggles, and I help a bit when I can, I'm having a great time with my son and my hobbies. I have no regrets at the moment, and don't think it's my calling 2 do anything different right now. He left me though, I don't believe I would have been able to find my way out to leave him. It was too dark there. Which means that you didn't need 2 learn your lessons in that particular manner. -ol' 2long
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
I will say thankful for a series of events that led him to seek help and sobriety. I can do that !
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 7,093 |
Which means that you didn't need 2 learn your lessons in that particular manner. True. There are 1000 paths I could have taken. Point taken, 2long.
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862 |
LOL This copied link doesn't work. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" /> But, Techie's original corrected link does. ~ Marsh
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,862 |
Found a couple of exchanges between Wakeup/want2bfree and Mel from 3 years ago... Originally posted by Waking Up:
I really wanted to trust him finally with my heart and start over but now I feel tricked.
He is acting lovingly and caringly but I am very leary. See, he has his wife back in line so to speak.
WU Originally posted by MelodyLane:
Ok, let me get this straight, WU. You lie and cheat on him and continue in this affair every day and you feel tricked?" I must have smoked some bad crack today, but my common sense tells me that HE has been tricked with your lies and deceit. Something tells me that YOU are the one with the trust problem, not him.
You know, acting "loving" cuts both ways, WU. And there is nothing "loving" about lying and cheating on your spouse. Nor is there anything "Christian" about such immoral behavior.
I am sorry to be so direct with you, but are operating under some serious delusions here. You are actively tricking your H and acting completely untrustworthy, yet you accuse him of these very things.
You then add insult to injury by condemning him for his strong reaction that YOU CAUSED by your cruel behavior.
Now we are to understand that he can't "be trusted" because he overreacted to the cruelest betrayal a spouse can commit. And then we hear how you suspect he isn't a "christian" because he isn't "nice" while you commit this cruel act behind his back.
'
WU. I don't know what to say. If you could see through objective eyes how very fogged over you are, you would be shocked. It is a shocking and rare thing to see such backwards logic, even on this forum.
If you cannot see clearly enough to do the right thing, please just allow us to help you through this period until your sanity returns. Originally posted by Waking Up:
I heard everything you said. I could have choosen to just bag it all and go to OM knowing that dealing with my H is going to be very difficult when truth is revealed, but I chose to do what is right in Gods eyes, end the A, after that it's in his hands. I am relying on God's mercy and grace. Originally posted by MelodyLane:
But you have not done what is right in God's eyes, WU. You are still in the affair. You continue to lie and deceive your H and plan to continue to deceive him. Don't try and take credit for something you have not done. Repent means to turn away from. That has not happened, WU. Just remember, talk is cheap. Mel had it all covered three years ago. I'm done posting to her. ~ Marsh
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Member
|
|
Member
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
she's trouble Marsh, I agree with you
|
|
|
|
0 members (),
501
guests, and
79
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,038
| |
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
|
|
|
|
