Happy Easter Everyone.

A complete week without seeing WH. Last time I saw him wsa at DS hockey game last weekend.

He did text me Happy Easter... didn't respond back. It does make me sad to have even that today. I'm sure he thought he was being nice I just looked at it as not respecting my wishes.

The kids had a good day with him and I'm glad they did. I am a little jealous though. I want all of us to be together. But I'm letting that go right now, it's not doing me any good dwelling on it.

Bugs missed your post til just now... your right I don't know if WH feels torn or not. And God will handle it in his own way. I need to let go and let God.

Still

Still

You sound a little better today!

It is utterly understandable and normal to feel jealous sometime of the kids enjoying WS. I feel that way a lot.

Still, I think you're doing great. Happy Easter!

Thanks SD and Bugs,

I'm feeling a little better.

I'm just glad today is almost over.... another first out of the way. Remember when the first was a happy event. First kiss, first date etc...

Going to bed was a very busy weekend at wor this past weekend.

Happy Easter to you too SD.

Still

Just sending some hugs your way... ((((still))))

Good night! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks Dev,

Still

Help e-mails from Wh
Last night
So I guess I have no input on the kids. We are still the kids parents and we
should be having communication about how we are going to fill each other in
on the kids and what you have packed for B. I asked what you had for
suitcases cause if you are using them all then I'll find one on my own. All
I have in the really small one.....

This am

Truly Di this isn't communication....This is you making decisions then
informing me of them as they come and only if I ask.
I do appreciate you packing for him. Of course I will have him call I know
that you will want to talk to him. I will call her but it'll be difficult
with all her games and she is not one to stay up till 10:30 when i will have
time at the end of the day. You know how this trip goes, but as parents we
do have to talk to each other to get the scoop of how the kids are doing, we
can't expect the kids to give us all the information cause they are kids.
Have a good day.

I hate this. I know block e-mails but there are still things that need to be communicated.

Again it's all my fault. Not this is because of his actions.
I really don't know how much more I can take. I want my H back.

What I would like to e-mail back

M,

I don't know what decisions I'm making that you consider you need to be a part of. Is it how many pairs of boxers I should pack for DS?

And yes this is my choice right now how I need to communicate with you. Just like having an affair was YOUR choice. And both of us suffer from the concequences of those choices. The biggest losers in this mess is our children. And who do you think they respect more on thier choice?

Still

{{{{{{STILL}}}}}}

I wish I knew what to tell you,,,,,but I'm not equipped with the knowledge to advise you here.

In my estimation, it's WS trying to worm his way back in to get a fix by USING the kids as the excuse.

I know it's hard on you. I'm sorry, but I don't hear the H in those messages.

Try to hang in there til some wise words of wisdom come from those with the experience to advise you.

Am thinking of you {{{HUGS}}}

Thanks Bugs,

Right now I feel like a plan B failure, a failure at co-parenting. Just one big F.

If he wanted me to feel guilty he knows how to do it. He takes first place in that aspect.

Saw the Ho this morning she actually drove by me in her car. Didn't really get a good look. Another dig this morning.

Still

Still,

YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!

You are a woman caught in the worst possible situation and are doing an incredible job of handling an impossible situation.

You did NOTHING wrong. YOU did not create this situation. WS did this when he chose to have the AFFAIR.

You are a WONDERFUL Mother! You are doing exactly what you know to be the BEST thing for your children,,,, you are Fighting to have your H back and to be a complete family!!

However, you also have to find the BEST way to protect YOURSELF and preserve what little love remains for H. It is YOUR right to choose how to interact with WS.

You are giving him the control by buying into his CR*P about the kids. HE LEFT them. Don't let him lay that guilt at your door,,,,, it's not yours to bear.

{{{{STILL}}}}

Bugs,

What's sad is I still have a lot of love for H. Why can't that just die so I can go on. He trys to chip away at it.

What's wrong with me to still love someone who is doing all this sh*t to me?

I'm not going to let this ruin my trip... it's just I hate how he makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong... and I believe him.

Need to get my goddess thingy going again.

Need to also get off the pity pot...

Still

Still, this is NOT your guilt to own...please do NOT own what is not yours...

I say this only because I have been there and had to come to realize this through talking with my IC...

This guilt is a consequence of WH's actions...not yours...

Please entertain me this morning and list all the great things about you...you must list a mimimum of 20 items...

Bugs' right, if you continue to maintain that attitude you are giving your power away, don't you think that you have done that long enough...

While we're at it, how about a list of what WH has done to hurt you...it's okay to get pi$$ed off...let's see if we can use that anger for something constructive...

Personally, your butt needs some 2X4 today, and it's a good thing that you've got us b/c I refuse to let you do this to yourself...

I'm speaking from experience...I've been pi$$ed off a whole lot and the only way I have come this far is to use is to my advantage...it's called assertiveness!

YOU KNOW, that you are only hurting yourself but kicking yourself, owning what's not your's to own...why are you sabbotaging yourself think this, this morning? Are you trying to fillfull a self-fillfilling prophecy? What is this going to accomplish? Who exactly is this helping? Are you going to let this little boy have control over you even NOW?

You're at a point that you can START living a GREAT LIFE...positive attitude STILL! Scrw this young twit, there's no way that she's more of a woman than YOU! She'll get tired of him and then where will he be...miserable, laying in the POO that he created...

Let him deal with the consequences of his actions...I'm pi$$ed off for YOU this morning! By God, if you can't get pi$$ed off, I will! YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER AND IF I WAS THERE, I DON'T KNOW IF I WOULD BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN MY SELF-CONTROL.

Your choice, what's it going to be...positive ir negative today!

There is nothing wrong with still loving your H...the real one...problem is you are not dealing with that H, you have WH to deal with!

He)), I still love my H, but it's a proven fact that once an addiction gets to a certain point the brain actually changes structure...not matter the addiction...and that person CAN NOT go back to the person that they once were.

So, I can love my H, knowing that the person I'm dealing with today is not the same...I can cherish all the great moments that I had with my H, hold them close, because NOT everything was bad...


Okay, I've got a 2X12 for you on this one....HE makes...no sweetie...YOU allow him...STOP playing his games Still...this is abuse...this is brainwashing...please do not go there...

I've got tons of tough love for you this morning....

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Still - -

Strivn has it going on this morning! LISTEN!

Re-Read her posts again and again

Make your Reasons Why Still is Great list!

Pick up one of those 2x4's and think about using it as your weapon to deflect the cr*p! Be Strong! You ARE Strong!

((((Bugs))))

Thanks, could be because I was rushing to get to work this morning! LOL

Just finished my first cup of coffee and I'm going to bypass the second! LOL

I am new here and at the moment my mind is so messed up that I can't even start to describe my situation. I really wanted to say though that I feel like my life "almost" mirrors yours, Strivin. And I am scared. I never had an A and my WH hasn't had a PA but he's on his 2nd (as far as I know) EA and it's killing me and our children, and him. I don't know what to do and I hope that you all can help me.

Mrs. Pain, please start a thread, so that we can help you. Tell us what's happening, fill us in, okay. If you post, you will get a plan, something tangible that you can follow without thinking so much...

Still, if you must reply, get that IRE up. Tell WH that he must formulate a way to communicate within the parameters that you have allowed. He made the choice to leave, and now he wants you to also make a schedule for HIS children. Tell him that you will write up a visistation and phone call schedule, he can then operate within those parameters. Also, remind him that you are not interested in opinions as they serve no purpose here. FIX IT!

Put up or shut up!

Don't you dare let this POS WH muddle you. You ARE doing the loving thing. You are carrying the load. Don't you give him the illusion that he has some control. You shift into high gear and give him what for, YOU HEAR ME STILL. I'm so angry for you.

Remember, you are not interested in his opinions, you only have interest in your Marriage and family. You are not interested in discussing any failures on EITHER ones part. YOu are not interested in ANY DISCUSSIONS. READ the [email]D@MNED[/email] LETTER! Don't you back down, not now!

PLAN B is a PLAN to work towards RECOVERY OF YOUR MARRIAGE...

So as I have said before, try to do PLAN B...

PLAN B was the KEY to RECOVERY OF MY MARRIAGE...

I certainly EMPATHIZE with your PAIN, Still...

I NEVER got to the place of not loving my H..every single morning I woke up and reached for him...in wanting him back, I struggled to maintain PLAN B...

I blocked his calls and his attempts to see me and to reach me...

Plus, any contact with him INCREASED MY PAIN LEVEL..started my WITHDRAWAL from him again as this is doing for you....

Hey still...

Don't let it get you down! You are a wonderful caring person. Its his loss if he can't see that.

(((still)))

Have a great trip! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the reply.
I have posted a new topic: EA's SUCK!!