Still,,

Party on girl!

Glad to hear from you and that you are sounding good! Following your heart is not always easy or popular IRL, but you did what was right for you. That took a lot of courage and strength. Good for you!

Wasn't really drink last night. BC I'm just not a great computer speller. Not all my fingers are where they are suppose to be.

Had IC this morning and I think I am so close to the point of letting go really letting God do his work. I told her about my 5am phone call with WH. And we talked about how I am five years ahead of WH with working on myself (since 1st A). That she feels that I will look back on everything and wonder why I held on so long.

She mentioned that WH needs to forgive himself and really look within himself. And it may take years for him. She jumped on his comment about being alone on an island. He put himself on that island. She feels that even after divorce goes through that he may get it. I told her it may be too late at that point.

I realize I am a beautiful, caring and loving woman. One that is going to make some man in the future a wonderful companion. I am almost to a point where I feel I am emotionall healthy.

It's funny DD had a playoff game today. And I saw him as I was leaving I just smiled at him warmly and he has a sad smile on his face. He texted me about 10 minutes lateer saying what a game. (our girls won) and I texted back yes it was.

I needed to put air in my tires and he drove in to get gas. He came over to help me and show me how to do it and we were pretty close to each other. I thanked him and as he was leaving he called out to me "Di your hair looks really nice today". I said thank-you and got in my car. And was amazed this man rarely gives compliments. Probably reading too much into it.

To just round this out and go watch parent trap with my daughter. I'm letting God take care of this. I don't know what he has planned but I know after all the pain I've been through it's going to be amazing.

Still

OKay, here's my advice to you...you handled that great by the way...I think that whenever you meet up with him again you need to do exactly what you did...

actions speak louder than words...the comment was nice...good for him...and for you...it is what it is...a comment...not more, no less...

you treat him just like you would anybody else...the hair dresser, the bag boy, etc...

Get what I'm saying...you're not clingy anymore, you're not chasing after his coat tail...YOU ARE YOUR own WOMAN! You come and go as you please...you do what you want...and THIS IS GREAT! You are learning to take care of yourself...sir in your tires, the lawn...you hear me...YOU HAVE MADE SOME GREAT CHANGES and he's starting to see...well, let him watch!

ALL HE'S GOT RIGHT NOW IS HIS CHOICES! and nothing else, not great DI anymore...no nice house, nothing that the two of you had before...

I think that YOUR break from MB has done you justice!!! Keep up the WONDERFUL WORK!

Ditto to Rin's comments!

Good job! Great progress!

Hi my sister Bee:
It's been a while since I checked in. You sound absolutely wonderful. Strong, courageous, determined. I admire you.

You have come so far! You are doing so well...I'm so happy for the place that you are in now.

(((still)))

Hello my fellow sistahs,

The next two days will be a test for me. I feel strong yet I still want to reach out one more time before we go before the judge,

That is the one thing I will pray about. Although he knows I am willing to work and it's in his hands.

Got to go and get things done.

Still

Here for you, still. Make sure you check in from time to time over the next two days. You don't need to feel alone.

This will be really hard...I can only imagine...but you will make it.

God is in control.

LilSis,

I will check in. Still hoping for a last minute repreive. Wasn't it princessmeggy's WH that had a change of mind 2 days before the divorce.

Well for me it's 2 days before. Putting off looking for some information I need for the morning.

Tomorrow afternoon I have an appt with my attorney to go over testimony. Guys I'm really going to needs all the prayers I can get in the next day or 2. I want you to pray for my M. But actually just pray for my being able to see what path I should be following.

Thanks everyone.

Still

Praying! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Absolutely.

((still))

Still,

First, I wanted you to know that I *am* praying for your M but also praying even more for you. I am praying that God's will be done in your life and that you are especially aware of God's presence and God's hand in all that happens.

Second, I wanted to tell you something especially for you. I know that you are working hard at giving your WH over to God and letting go of the reins, but I also know that deep in your heart of hearts, you still want your M and do not want a D. One of the hardest questions a person asks is often, "I prayed and prayed for God to save my M and He didn't...so if He hates divorce why didn't He save my M?" Still, I know you are a woman of faith and that you speak to your pastor regularly about your M, so I'm going to tell you something I learned when my M ended. Like you, I wanted to honor my vows and did not want a D--but I gradually came to realize that I mostly didn't want a D because I was AFRAID. Yep, I was afraid that if I wasn't a married woman, the church would kick me out...or they'd all look at me like I had a red [color:"red"]A[/color] on my forehead. I was afraid that I would get old alone and that I'd be poor and God wouldn't provide for me. I KNEW how to be married...I did NOT KNOW how to be divorced!

Looking back on it now, I thought if I wasn't in my WH's life that God wouldn't be able to work in his life. I thought God was using me to help my WH grow and become a christian...but what I didn't think of was that if he and I were not together, that doesn't mean God isn't in his (Wh's) life anymore!!! Wasn't that arrogant of me?

Also looking back now, I believe I married the wrong man for all the wrong reasons. I was 23yo and not mature AT ALL, and I chose my WH because he was cute and I had a crush on him. I knew he was not a christian and I thought I knew better than God what I wanted and needed in a husband. I chose a man who was my exact personality type OPPOSITE in every way, so that we had a VERY, VERY hard time communicating because we didn't understand each other. Furthermore, he had addictions and illnesses that DEEPLY affected our M that I was unaware of. Yet, I was headstrong and made a vow--a covenant with a man who was unequally yoked--and the consequence was that I lived a very hard married life, my children had a hard life, there were lots of fights, and ultimately our family was demolished. And I am thankful to God that He allowed me to experience the consequences of my choices...because although it hurt A LOT and I suffered for it...I also grew a lot and came to understand why God tells us what He does about marriage.

Still, you may not see your path now. To you, it may feel like you are taking a step over the edge of a cliff and it seems like there is nothing there to catch your feet. In real life, it's like that movie scene where the guy takes the step of faith into open air only to discover that there is a bridge there that was camouflaged and hidden--he just couldn't see it, but it was there!! God doesn't always let us see our whole path. At times, He might only show us the next step! At times it may feel like we are walking in the woods, in the dark, and only the next step is lit up--the one after that is into the pitch black somewhere.

Psalm 46:10 tells us "Be still and know that I am God". "Be still" means "be at peace in the knowledge" but also "be quiet enough to hear the whisper". You can have PEACE, still, because no matter where you step, you are right in the palm of God's hand! Joshua 1:5 (and Hebrews 13:5) is God talking and He says, "I will never leave you or forsake you." This is a promise, still...and unlike HUMAN promises, you can put your WHOLE TRUST in one of God's promises!! You can stake your life on it cuz you KNOW it's true! And right after God says that, you know what He says next? He says, "Be strong and of a good courage, do not be afraid nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

See, still, it may FEEL like you can't see your path...and like you're stepping off the edge of the cliff in faith, BUT GOD IS WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO. The path is crystal clear to Him, because He made the path for you!!

So have peace, still. You are safe and sound, no matter what happens. If God allows you WH to go, rest safely in the security that God has you and you will learn to know Him better because of this. You will become a wiser, more mature, better lady--and for reasons you don't know yet, God has released you from the vow you made with WH. You have fought the good fight. You have finished the course. You have kept the faith. (II Timothy 4:7)

Your mama bee,



CJ

(((still)))

Thinking of you this morning...

Still,


Just stopping by to let you know I am praying for you, thinking of you, and sending all blessings & strength your way!

CJ - what a wonderful post. Something that ALL of us can benefit from, no matter what our current sitch. Thank you for that!


{{Still}} Hang in there!

Still, I wanted to second what CJ said (as she said it so beautifully); you are on your path, you just can't see it right now. I can only imagine the fear that you have right now, but I know that you can perservere all.

I was watching some show this last week, prior to hitting the hay, and Paula Dean was on talking about overcoming being a single mom with $200 to her name to invest in some sort of career. Well, that $200 led her to where she is now; she had faith in herself, and also mentioned taking responsiblity of herself and her family's well-being. She's done a great job, I would say! I know that you can and will do the same. Your fears have one by one been diminished, and you will get past these fears stemming from D, too.

If your WH doesn't come around, it really is his loss, and letting go of the responsiblity of his actions, of holding your 'family' together are not your anymore. You have done all that you can, and/or should, to save this M, and I don't just mean this time around.

As long as you take care of MOM, your children will have some happiness and peace knowing that you are okay. I was at my most happy when I knew my mother was happy.

Count me in. I'm thinking of you and praying for you, too.

Me, too, Still. I'm hoping for your marriage, but I know that you will be great whatever happens. You have come SO far it's amazing. I am so impressed by your progress.

(((Still)))

Hey guys,

Thanks for the prayers. God does work in mysterious ways. I think I'm still in shock.

On my way to work this morning I just cired to God saying I guess my path is the divorce as I hadn't heard anything fom WH. I told God that I was okay with this although it's not what I had hoped for as an outcome.

Around 8:30am my attorney calls me at work,,, he was waiting for some figures on my retirement. First words out of my mouth was that I was working on it and will e-mail him soon. He said he heard from WH attorney so I proably already knew. I asked "Know what". Apparently WH was having second thoughts. He was pretty emotional with his attorney and he wanted to hold off. My attorney told me he would know for sure later on in the morning.
I was completely off guard. To say the morning went by slowly is an understatement.

Noontime I get the definate news that our court date has been canceled. That his attorney is recommending we go to counciling etc.

I e-mailed WH and asked if this was true. He e-mailed me back that he has alot of thinking to do, this deosn't mean we will be getting back together and that this past weekend was rough. (he's living with a single guy friend) That he needed a little space and we would talk soon.

Okay I'm trying not to let my hopes get to high. I'm okoay with whatever happens. Who knows the reason why right now but I'm happy and feel like a load has been lifted. It may not change anything at all. My attorney is talking August if it continues.

Now I need advice on what my plan should be.

Still (doing a happy dance)

SWEET!!

Cross your fingers.

Say a Rosary.

don't hold your breathe

happy dance is ok

you may need a real pro's opinion on how to proceed.

very crucial

call Steve

you can do this

WOOOHOOOOO!!

still,

After considering this for a while, here would be my advice to you. Today your WH postponed the final divorce date. It is ONE STEP in the right direction of a journey of 1000 steps. Yes, acknowledge that it is encouraging. Yes, acknowledge that it is a good step. But if it were me I would not get my hopes up too entirely high.

At this time, your WH MIGHT be beginning to see the light, but it could also be that he is just hesitant. IMHO, he still has a LONG, LOOOOOONG way to go before he proves to you that he is a spouse worth allowing into your life. So, for now I would continue in Plan B--basically live your own life and leave him alone. Continue to be the VERY BEST still that you can be, and continue on your own journey of becoming a better woman and mother. Allow him to DEMONSTRATE TO YOU that he is taking personal responsibility for having two affairs, for repairing the damage he did in making those choices, and for fixing his own life. If you see him breaking up with OW on his own--he might be ready to be worthy of being your DH. If you see him going to DD17 and apologizing for blowing off so many of her games and hurting her--all for the love of a slut--he might be ready to be worthy of being your DH. If he comes to you and says he's in IC and is making progress but needs a little time to get his head on straight--he might be ready to be worthy of being your DH.

Until then, stay in Plan B (do your own thing, live your own life, work on yourself, be happy and peaceful and beautiful) and when/if you do see him, just RADIATE. I'm not talking about being completely NC, strict darkness. I'm talking about being the stunning woman you ARE...and on the occasion letting him see the light through the darkness.

If he does not come to you as I have described above...if he tries to blame or justify...he's not ready. That would indicate increased darkness. If he is making some progress as described above, that would indicate letting him see more of the light that is YOU.

Does that make sense to you? You keep being you and living your life...and if he wants to join you, let him do some work and prove to you that he is man enough to be your DH.

Your mama bee,



CJ

Oh STILL!

Praise God!

That is such great news,,,

However (and there is always a however in life it seems),

Listen to Mama Bee! She has your back on this and I think is totally right.

I will dance in celebration of your good news,, but will stop short of Rin's idea to do so naked in the street! I'd probably het run over! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sending contiued prayers and blessings your way!