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I am going to let him come to me. I have to, even my IC said this was his battle. I do want to help him so badly. But my "help" may just push him away. And that is the last thing I wish to do right now.
I can't explain how I feel everything is going to be okay. Almost afraid to say that! But I mean okay in the sense whatever happens.
God knows my deepest wish.
So I keep reading the quote Rin left yesterday.
"Don't be impatient for the Lord to act" Psalms 37:34
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Missed your post on how to get WHto talk to Steve... that sounds like a great idea. I realy think that will be how I word it.
I know it won't be with the appt I made for next week because he'll be working at that time. But at least I will have some more plans after talking with Steve.
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Don't know if it's because WH is spending his first night in his new house. The fact that he has signed a year lease.
I guess my feeling of peace has left me tongiht. Right now I want my H back, right now. I'm tired of all of this.
I know this feeling will pass.... I just want some resloution.
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Still, this is why you stay in the darkness of plan B, and take absolutely NO SCRAPS. He decided to stall the D and needs time to think. He is still wayward, so treat him as such and continue your days and nights in Plan B.
I'm coming to find that resolution, even after entering recovery, is a long way out, so buckle yourself in.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
I am going to limit contact with him... I don't want to but I get more confused when i see him. We are going to talk later this week about the reason he got second thoughts. He told me he owed me as much.
That's when I'm going to broach the subject of him talking to Steve H. Still very curious to know if things are crashing with the ho. Ny gut feling is telling me all isn't fine and dandy.
Thanks for the advice ..... I'm kind of getting sick of riding rollercoasters.
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Thinking of you....glad to know that you are safely buckled in with the bar locked in place as you go up the steep ascents and down the steep declines..
I wish to be off the ride as well...but at least I am presently in a straight-away, catching my breath. We'll trade places eventually.
Thanks... I think I'll be more on a straight away when I find out more info about his reasoning.
Night
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Hopefully I get some insight and answers. Kind of nervous what I will hear. Like there is no hope for my M.
Will update more later.
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
I was nervous, too. Don't worry. Remember, no matter what is said, you will end up knowing what you need to do next. THAT is what I needed most.
Do you have your most important facts written down in a timeline? That helped me keep on track during the call
Also, be sure to let him know you have been posting here.
Have a separate pad of paper to take notes. Immediately after the call, go through your notes and fill in the details while they are fresh in your mind (again, something that helped me)
Let us know how it goes!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
My appointment is at 10:30 EST. So in about an hour and half.
I e-mailed him a brief synopsis of marrital history and did tell him that I post here if he wanted to get ome more info.
I'm going to get all my notes and pad of paper. Wish I knew how to work the voice activated recoreder I bought last summer to tape session.
The 2 things I guess that are major questions is liklhood after 2 affairs and if it looks like an exit affair.
Still
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
BTW- I don't know about this being an exit A. He had the chance to walk through that Exit once and for all and stopped! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
BW me 46 WH 46 Together 28 years married 23 3 Kids DD20, DD17 and DS 14 DD #1 (1st A) 10/13/01 with single OW who was co-worker DD#2 1/23/02 phone call from OW WH left job 4/02 MC 10/01 to 4/02 (when he showed up) Separated 7/04 to 10/04 Retrouvaille 9/04 Red Flags 11/05 DD#1 (2nd affair) 8/16/06 with MOW age 29 twice married and he's her boss. Moved out (him) weekend after labor day 23rd anniversary 10/7/07 Filed 10/18/06 still seeing MOW Dropped divorce complaint 6/7/07
Still, I agree with Bugs, he would be long gone if this were an exit affair. What the h3ll is an exit affair anyway; aren't they all ASSUMED exit affairs (on the part of the wayward). Don't they all assume they are leaving for good! Seriously, let's just call them affairs. Okay?
Quite interested to hear what Steve H. had to say. Interested to know how you are doing also. Keep us POSTED!
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
or you're about to get caught and you run for the exit <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
