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Re: I need more help!!! DIG #1857206 04/16/07 09:28 PM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614 D DIG Member
DIG Member D Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614	Thank you so much Marsh. I really mean it that really gives me a better perspective. I can definitely do that. Can you tell that I am really trying Lord knows I am but sometimes I feel like what is it all for. I feel so lost when I try and relate to him. Why is this marriage thing so hard? I saw on Joel Osteen one day that God puts difficult people in your to help you change for the better and I am thinking Lord please let me get this soon so I can fix whatever it is you want me to fix so this man of mine will stop being so difficult. Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL $\:\)$

Re: I need more help!!! DIG #1857207 04/16/07 10:06 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Mary, As you can see, not only do you believe your H is responsible for your feelings, but you also believe you are responsible for his. It's a two way street. Don't pick up his stuff and learn not to give him yours. When you learn to respect what is his and what is yours, you will begin to have the happiness you long for in your M. Quote Can you tell that I am really trying Sure I can. But, doesn't it matter more what YOU believe about yourself than what I do? Mary, learn to trust yourself. Quote I feel so lost when I try and relate to him. Why is this marriage thing so hard? You'll get there. Learn to separate his thoughts and feelings from yours..that'll make a big difference. Quote so I can fix whatever it is you want me to fix so this man of mine will stop being so difficult. Your H doesn't need to be fixed. He's a person wonderfully made, same as you. ~ Marsh Last edited by Marshmallow; 04/16/07 10:39 PM.

Re: I need more help!!! Marshmallow #1857208 04/16/07 10:27 PM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614 D DIG Member
DIG Member D Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614	Quote [quote]so I can fix whatever it is you want me to fix so this man of mine will stop being so difficult. When I said this I meant fix what is wrong with me. How can you tell that I have a problem trusting myself? I do I just want to know how it is so obvious? Also I see what you are saying about the two way street. I will get it I know I will but that doesn't make it any easier. Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL $\:\)$

Re: I need more help!!! DIG #1857209 04/16/07 10:38 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote When I said this I meant fix what is wrong with me. You're not broken either, Mary. Quote How can you tell that I have a problem trusting myself? B/c you look to others to validate who you are. What's your pay off for distrusting yourself? ~ Marsh

Re: I need more help!!! Marshmallow #1857210 04/16/07 10:47 PM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614 D DIG Member
DIG Member D Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614	Quote You're not broken either, Mary. How can you be so sure. I have felt that way for a long time. Quote How can you tell that I have a problem trusting myself? B/c you look to others to validate who you are. What's your pay off for distrusting yourself? ~ Marsh I don't know and I don't know how to answer this. Why is this the case and how can I change feeling like this? Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL $\:\)$

Re: I need more help!!! DIG #1857211 04/16/07 10:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote I don't know and I don't know how to answer this. Think about it. There is a pay off for you, otherwise you wouldn't do it. Quote Why is this the case and how can I change feeling like this? It isn't a feeling, Mary. It's a belief. You believe that you aren't trustworthy. Why? Challange that belief. Is it really true? Are you untrustworthy? If it's not true...get rid of it. ~ Marsh

Re: I need more help!!! Marshmallow #1857212 04/16/07 11:02 PM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614 D DIG Member
DIG Member D Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614	I'll think about it and get back to you. I believe I feel I am untustworthy because my dad thought I was. He whipped me for everything my siblings did because he thought I put them up to it. How do I chanllenge this? Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL $\:\)$

Re: I need more help!!! DIG #1857213 04/16/07 11:04 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote How can you be so sure. I have felt that way for a long time. I believe that we were all fearfully and wonderfully made. ...that God can't/won't make any junk. ~ Marsh

Re: I need more help!!! DIG #1857214 04/16/07 11:11 PM
Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862 M Marshmallow Member
Marshmallow Member M Joined: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,862	Quote I believe I feel I am untustworthy because my dad thought I was. He whipped me for everything my siblings did because he thought I put them up to it. Was he correct? Are you untrustworthy b/c he thought you were? Don't you get to define who you are? Quote How do I chanllenge this? Ask yourself if it's true...are you untrustworthy? If you aren't then why continue to believe it? ~ Marsh Last edited by Marshmallow; 04/16/07 11:45 PM.

Re: I need more help!!! Marshmallow #1857215 04/16/07 11:30 PM
Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614 D DIG Member
DIG Member D Joined: Jan 2007 Posts: 614	Marsh you have given me a lot to think about and I sincerely want to thank you. This is what I needed. Me (32) H (33) 3 DD's 9,8,2 1 DS 4 Married 4/19/99 According to Mrs. W I am now Delightful in GA. LOL $\:\)$

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