GA,

"WH "I like being single" "I like not having answer to anyone"

ME: "you aren't single you are still married to me and we have two children"

This is excellent because you're bringing the truth.

WH: "Well if I have to pay that much c.s. I will have to sell my car and my truck. Is that what you want Ginger, force me to sell my car."

ME: "I don't know what to tell you"

Not bringing truth (yes, your truth, you were honest). "You are choosing to end our marriage. I'm not forcing you to do anything; you're choosing."

WH: "I don't have any money. I eat pasta when the kids aren't here"

ME: "Do you have any idea what it has been like paying the mortgage all by myself"

This is refuting...not part of Plan A. "I hear you're choosing to not have any money. I'm glad you're eating."

WH: "I gave you the house besides, I just spent $500 on camping gear for the kids"

See, he knows (and refuses to know) reality. Bring it to him. Do not own his choices, do not refute, and stay calm...nearly bored...because you're observing. Don't be drawn into his stuff...he needs you desperately to stay in your own.

You can do this...you've gotten a lot of the great parts of Plan A (that you can have a blast with your kids, that you aren't enmeshed...you know where you end and he begins...and you see your choices)...there's more...you're learning. There's no caving in Plan A...he's choosing this...you are not. You are choosing to save your marriage...which is unlearning how to get in the way of his consequences.

"Marriage has a lot of benefits. Living single costs. I understand you are choosing to live as if you're single. It has it's drawbacks to. I hear you."

Follow through with the CS...because you are separated and that's real, 'k?

You are not making him anything...not even a sandwich. He's choosing...acknowledge his choices.

You can do this...no doubt in my mind.

LA