Yea thats what I have been doing but she still ashamed by what happened and she says it hurts her when she sees me.

Of course it does...why would that surprise you at all? So the trick is to communicate to her that you can understand that she would feel that way, but you know that things can actually be BETTER than they were before, and that her pain would ease with time and progress in fixing things between you. Make it clear to her that you CAN forgive her for this (and you need to decide for yourself that you can). Make it clear that there IS hope...but that hope is all dependent on HER making the right choice...right now.

What SPECIFICALLY have you done as part of the 'carrot' of plan A? To make yourself more attractive, to identify and meet her EN's, to fill her LB where you can?

It's good that her family knows and is disgusted by what she's doing. Ask them to continue to talk with her and let her know how foolish she's being, and to help you to get the message to her that there is hope for the two of you, but she's got to make the right choice first.

Make it clear to her that you are still MARRIED...and you won't sit idly while she cheats on you. Don't give her specifics, but make it clear that you're in this fight to save your marriage, and you ARE going to fight.

Have you called OM's CO? If not, why not. Do it NOW. Right now. There's no good reason not to start that going immediately. It's one of your best hopes to start establishing no contact between them...and to shatter that little fantasy world of their affair.