No its not, Steve. It's all you're CHOOSING to do. There IS a difference, and that's what all of us have tried to point out to you.

"Has anyone ever heard of a woman saying to her husband that I love you but am not in love with you without some sort of affair?"

I can say I've been there!! I loved someone very much but was not "in love" with them at all. I wished I had those feelings, but that didn't do me any good. Now I'm glad those feelings never came back. I'm alot better off without him!!
RMW

Owl,
I can't mess with her computer. That's for sure. She knows too much about computers. And another concern is what if there is nothing going on but an addiction and I'm wrong about OM? What if I'm totally wrong? What if it is she has just had too much of my crap? As far as I know the main person she plays with is female. What she says anyways. Could she be getting emotional needs just being friends with another girl. She's not gay either. She usually tells me when guys are on in her guild I think anyway. Could it just be friends that never go over the line? Her Dad assures me she wasn't raised that way and she knows how he feels about that. She is close with her Dad and knows it would be letting him down. Of course what do I know. I know she's too smart for me to mess with her computer. I have been giving her space and we seem to be getting along better. She sleeps on the couch though. She is trying to get a certain job that pays well and when I ask if she will go in on a shower if she get's it she says yes which kind of tells me she might not 100% leave. We have been respecting each other a little more lately because I leave her alone about the relationship and the game. I know she wants a separation though. I thought if I ease up on pressuring her things might get better. We talk a little more now. I will concider what you guys said but messing with the computer is out for sure. As far as I know the only person she got a phone number from online is female. I just have to concider I could be wrong. Maybe time will tell.

RMW, You didn't have an affair? DO you care to share your story? I would like to hear it.

If a spouse says this to you it is in my experience and opinion 99% indicative of an affair. And she wants space and has moved out? Well that's 100% probability IMO.

I can say that I've said something similar to my H (when asked directly) that my intense feelings weren't there...my love bank was dipping dangerously low from his adultery and subsequent behavior.

She says she wants to move out and I am in denial about it. She says she don't want another relationship with anyone just to clear her head and see if she misses me.

My wife found a place and is moving out real soon.

Normally, I refrain from "I told ya so's...".

And I have to say I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation.

No other advice I can give you from what I gave you a couple of months ago. If she's moved out or is moving out, your ability to influence her decisions is going to go down even FURTHER.

Have you made any headway in finding out if she's carrying on in an online affair with someone?

Have you tried to end her online gaming addiction?

What's your gameplan from here?

She's been gone 5 or more weeks. The only proof I found was in her actions. I told her dad about her online ediction. we only talk through email now she won't give me her phone # and she don't want me o stop over. she says she's seeing nobody but her word holds no water with me. My plan went into effect when she moved out and I am dating now. Been on 3 dates. I will let her make the first move to file. Thanks for responding.

Well...what's YOUR goal?

I've asked it before.

Do you want to work on trying to rebuid your marriage, or do you want to divorce?

Are you paying to support her in any way since she moved out? Have you decided to do any kind of seperation, or what?

owl, sorry took so long to get back. computer nroke and i was without internet 3 months or more. we both signed the papers. i don't care anymore and got over the hurt of what she did. i have a girlfriend now but we have issues that are not my fault. she is how i was and i tried with her but broke it off yesterday. my plan is not to get wife back and get treated how i did. i want to be friends with her but she says thats hard right now. i have found that i am good looking and my girlfriend was way better looking then my wife so that helped. at least i waited till my wife moved out to date. so far dating has been good with some bad or weird ones in there. my plan is to give my girlfriend another chance if she is sincere and tries to learn about her behaviors more in time. If not I'm happier single than having my wife disrespect me everyday or have rediculous arguements with the gf. Plan to study pest control this year, gain 40lbs of muscle, maybe meet a nice woman, and do art like never before.My wife really was good during the divorce and i get to keep the house and i'm not paying anything but an amount i might have to owe for the house. she admitted she had someone but says it's over but i don't care or don't believe her. i became a better person when she left. one i can not be ashamed of so that's nice. How have you been? I will have to post in divorcing prob now. There is no chance to rebuild.