I won't even try to guess.

I actually had similar conversations early on with STBX in which she admitted being selfish, immature, and petty. She admitted that she was contuing the A despite the damage she knew it would do to DS. This was before I found MB so it never got posted.

Well, did she change? He11 no. She got worse. It's almost like if they admit their problems it somehow relieves the guilt b/c now they can just say that's how they are and they can't change it, even though WE know better.

So I REALLY don't know if this is the case with your WH or if he's starting to clear out some FOG and can't decide which way to go.

Hence, Plan B.

Take it away from him and HOPEFULLY he'll want it back bad enough to give up his other life.

I say cross your fingers and Plan B the HE11 out of him.

Well, did she change? He11 no. She got worse. It's almost like if they admit their problems it somehow relieves the guilt b/c now they can just say that's how they are and they can't change it, even though WE know better.


OMG YES! I have thought that SO many times. He actually USED to say to me "This is the way I am and if you don't like it you can leave"

How is your moving on going? Things quiet on the homefront?

Yes, things are VERY quiet, which is good for me, but bad for DS. She hasn't come to see him at all this week. As a matter of fact the last 2 months she's averaging about 3 hours a week with him with the exception of Mother's day.

SO SAD

I've just got through my ANGER stage of grieving and have finally gone into acceptance. I'm feeling good, completely back to my old self.

I don't consider myself an expert, so I just roam around here messing with people. It's my way of giving back. Trying to put a smile on a few faces. Also, flirting with the ladies puts a smile on mine. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Good Luck Holy

Flirting with great guys also makes us smile! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

That is how my WH is. Barely sees our girls. Yet has enough time to go golfing with his buddies...

I have a REALLY HOT a/c tech coming to my house tomm. to check out my unit...that will be the highlight of my weekend!

Note to self..behave...and don't let him see you stare at his butt

or you checking out HIS unit!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

Man...it has been so long that if the guy even mentions his unit I am afraid I will jump all over it...no pun intended.

Dear Penthouse Forum.....

No kidding! We need a community for the sexuallly frustrated

We had an AWESOME weekend! I can't believe it!

Friday night he had to work at the bar. He came over to the house beforehand, and as soon as he left until I fell asleep that night, we text each other. NOthing major until the OW starts texting me AGAIN!! The usual garbage. I better not mess with her or get in her way, yadda yadda. So I tell WH. He calls me and tells me what is going on. Actually my ex and his W were there, and they told me what was going on as well. WH did not know they were there at this point.

Evidently OW was trying REALLY HARD to seduce WH. He was completely ignoring her. She was rubbing on other guys, and getting more and more angry as the night went on. One of my other friends GF's took my WH out on the dance floor, and danced 1 song. When she did this, OW got SO ANGRY she walked up to WH and said " I want you back in my house NOW. I want you back and you will come back to me. " WH said absolutely not. That is when she started texting me. Once I told him, he went up to her and yelled that she better get my number out of her phone NOW, as well as his number.

The next day WH and I took the kids to the zoo. Had a WONDERFUL time. I left my phone at home. That night he has to go back to the bar to work, and guess who also had to be there again. Well she tried telling him that I was texting her all day rubbing it in that he was with me and we were having fun. He knew I didn't do that.

He had some things that were still at her apt. He went to go get them and she started swinging at him again. He said I just need my stuff. She ran out of the apt. and went up to his truck and kicked it, bent his wiperblades, and was screaming!!!

He immediatley called me and asked to sleep over the house. I let him. We ended up talking and having SF.

When we woke up, we went to look at trucks. He wants one so he can do the yardwork we need to do. We have a lot of hauling that needs to be done. While we were looking, he saw one that was only a regular cab. He made the comment that it wouldn't work because we needed one that would fit our family! I was shocked!

We did some work around the house, and then his Friend A called wanting him to watch the game with him. He said " I want to go to A's to watch the game. I said Ok, but what are you doing about dinner? Are you going with him and coming back to eat or just going back to W's?

He said he wasn't sure we'd talk later.HE ACTUALLY KISSED ME GOODBYE BEFORE HE LEFT!! Well, i gave NO FUSS about him watching the game with A, and didn't call him during that time. He called me around 9 asking if he can come back over. I said of course!

This was huge because his main gripe was wanting to do things with his friends, and me giving him grief before and after he would go out, and I made a point NOT to let myself get wierd.
When he came back that night, he kept telling me how much this weekend meant to him. He said he is happy about how this is going.

I am so happy about all of this. We had a WONDERFUL weekend! Any thoughts?

HM

Sounds like things are going really well for you!

What is the sitch with WH getting a different job than the bar?

The reason I ask is that the interaction and drama with the OW needs to stop-with BOTH of you.

Now that he has all of his stuff from her place, the only place left to deal with is the bar. If he can not guarantee NC, the drama will never end. Just my opinion

Keep studying up on HN/HN and Surviving an Affair. I think you are needing SA and some other experts advice here as you move this forward.

And it Does sound like you are both moving in the right direction!

He and I talk and talk and talk about this bar job. There are so many reasons why he wants to stay there, but after this weekend said he now understands why I need him to leave.

I don't want this drama. He doesn't like the drama. I reminded him there is only one solution. He had the I am thinking look on his face, and I reminded him that as long as she is doing this, I don't want to be around.

This is what his EXW was like. DRAMA QUEEN> I lived with that for 5 years, I REFUSE to do it again.

Still waiting for the library to get my books! If I don't get them by Wed, I will go buy them. Wed is pay day.

You should talk to him about getting a restraining order against her, since she's been physically and verbally abusive.

As a matter of fact, you should get one yourself against her, since she's sent you threatening text messages.

HM-- My FWH said EXACTLY the same things to me-- which made him a typical (F)WH, just like yours. They treat you like a yo-yo and they're the finger controlling the yo-yo. Come closer... nope... go away... come closer... nope... go away. See how that works.

Stick to your Plan A'ing. From what I've seen and learned it truly is effective, even though you may not see the results immediately.

OWL- I had thought of doing just that. If he won't I certainly should. I don't want people like that around me or especially my kids.

PM- When he gets closer to me, it is closer each time. The talking, the actually asking me about my feelings. Wanting me to talk to him about me. He told me he has been happier the last couple days than he has been in awhile. I sit back and eat this up, but then I am always waiting for WH to rear his ugly head.

ALL last night he was texting me. He couldn't sleep and was thinking about me, so literally text me ALL NIGHT LONG! He wants me to come watch him play his softball game tonight. I don't know if I shoudl go or not!

I dropped off his glove to him this morning and made him sandwiches. He wouldn't take them though. He said he wasn't hungry...but I know he was. My mom was actually angry with me for making him the lunch. It was actually funny to me. Picking fights with your daughter because she made her husband a sandwich.

He kisses me now too. A LOT. Whenever he sees me actually. It is so nice. I missed the affection more than anything. And believe me, my husband is a lover. He is so affectionate.

But I am still guarded. I am afraid to hope that he is coming around. I don't want to have him decide he is done and have him hurt me again.

Aren't you in Plan A. Plan A with no expectations = go to the [email]d@mn[/email] softball game and root your H on.

I wouldn't consider that being a doormat. I'd consider that being a supportive wife. Show him how AWSOME YOU are.

Get Bugs old cheerleader uniform and give em he11.

JMHO

I would convienently have something to do until the game is almost over (usually about 1 hour) and then show up in a smoking summer dress, sandals, my hair/make-up done to the T w/ strong perfume on. (well I wouldn't as I would get some pretty interesting looks as a male looking this way, ha ha). I would watch his game and then leave right afterwards with somewhere to be.

When he asks where ..." just some friends from work, or the gym or wherever are going to meet for dinner and drinks...nothing major. You played well tonight, have a good one...."

OK..wearing something sexy means I have to go shopping. I have nothing that will really turn a head. That works for me as I love to shop!

I am kinda nervous! Wish me lots of luck and sexiness. I need the sexiness part. I have always been cute and casual. Not draw dropping sexy. Need to work on that...

BC if you are reading this..cover your eyes.

I went to the game. Had a blast. WH wanted to come back to the house with us, which surprised me because it was 7 and he had to be at work at 8. SO he comes over and takes a shower. Walks downstairs wearing only his towel, readjusting it several times.

We then have dinner and he goes to work.

He calls me after he gets off and says he wants to come over. He says he is really wanting to come home. WHen he got there we ended up talking about his day and really nothing in particular. I get up to go to bed and he grabs my leg and says don't go.

We had more SF. It was great.

Hows my Plan A?

It's OK Holy, I've delt with it, I'm gonna be alright. LOL

It actually seems like some of you may pull this off just yet.

It was looking rough around here for a while.

God I hope things go well. He said he hasn't been this happy in a long time. But he (for the moment) is backing what he is saying. Granted it has only been a week and we are NO WHERE NEAR recovery status....

Funny how SF takes away so much of my grouchiness. And he looked so good....

HM writing from Cloud 9