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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,583
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Joined: Apr 2007
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Post deleted by recoveryhopeful
Happily married to HerPapaBear
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 805
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 805 |
Well, you've probably thought about this and I don't know how feasible it will be with 6 children, but could you look into a part time job?
Do you have at least one older child that can babysit for a few hours per day? Or, could you watch another child or two for extra money? Your husband, if he chooses to leave, will of course pay you alimony and child support. But it would be good to have some other income as well.
Best wishes,
Saturn
Me: 45
Him: 47
married 23 years
Two wonderful sons
D-day for my EA: 8/15/04
D-day for his PAs: 8/16/06
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
It is time to work toward more financial independence. You can be quite honest with him and tell him you don't feel real safe right now.
You can write to the credit companies and ask them to report the credit in BOTH of your names. That will help you establish credit.
Be sure to open up an IRA, and contribute the maximum, so that you will have something for retirement.
You might also check out the Janis Spring Abrahams book "After the Affair". She has a whole chapter on some "high cost" behaviors that the straying partner can do to reassure the BS. One of them is signing the marital home over to the BS.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 345
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 345 |
Don't count on alimony. My H left us when I was a SAHM with 6 kids (also homeschooling), and in my state, it is rare to receive both alimony and child support. You should check your credit history (you should have one, since your name is also on the mortgage) and see what your current FICO score is. Fortunately, I had a strong credit history, having previously worked and having always had credit cards in my own name.
I think it would be unwise to get a part-time job at this point. It might very well lower the child support and alimony if you got any, and after expenses you'd be farther behind, not to mention working and homeschooling is hard to manage together.
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