Gotta love the kids.

At work I am the only one in my department with kids.

We all got the video game Wii. Which by the way is awsome, but I got the protective sleeves for the remote. The othere two guys that got the Wii couldn't understand why.

I said because the kids are disgusing little germ recepticales. These can wipe down easily.

Sorry your kids are sick. Every time I turn around mine cost me more money. LOL.

Said it is you but happy it isn't jsut me.

Sorry to hear about the Tonsilitis. That stinks.

I totally get the juggling act that you are doing right now. It's what I've been doing, too, and it can be exhausting. I'm also with you on the weight gain and hopefully loss. Now, I did have the initial diet of nothing after finding out about the first A, but after that, and then after starting meds, I gained weight.

Now, I'm working toward better habits, so hopefully the weight will level off at about 10lbs lighter. I'm not tryin to be something out of a magazine, just something out of the local paper, maybe...

Hope your son feels better sooner than later. Have a good weekend.

frog- LMAO, the boys can be happy when they get home and can play the PS2...

yep, we know all about those GERMS...

This is a first for L, I'm sure he'll be fine...my concern is antibodies are for 10 days...next weekend is STBX's...I guess we will see...

SL- LOL, I'm glad someone knows what I'm going through...it's not easy right now...

it's been so quiet today at work!

I was doing a my space search for some classmates of mine...first time I've ever been on there...I was thinking about doing a profile but I think I'll wait on that...

My email address is going to change soon...and I just feel better about waiting'

I hope this weather clears up, it's been so gloomy today! well, I still have a lot of work to get done before the end of the day! I'll check in later!

You two have a good weekend too!

My OS is still punished for PS2 and most others but the Wii is quite fun for the whole family. So we play it together.

I understand your concern about next week but at some point STBX has to step up. It is your concern because they are your kids but it shouldn't be if STBX does what he should.

So maybe having them will increase his parental ability over time.

You have a great weekend. Mine is going to be great because I said so!!!!!!!!!!

well, I told STBX the next time that I had instructions about the kids and something that I would make a point to call hima dn let him know directly...

That way there will be no excuses on why it didn't happen...I inform him, if it doesn't happen it just doesn't happen...his choice...and I will know that I did what I could...

last time I told the HN2...thinking it would get passed on...well lesson learned the first time...plain and simply...

I'm glad that you are being so proactive on how your weekend will be...Good Choice! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> i will have a good one too! I promise! Come HECK or HIGH water and from what I heard New Orleans is getting some flooding...most of the bad weather is to the north of us!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

(((Strivn)))

Sooooo sorrry your little guy is so sick. Breaks my heart when kids get sick. I have tears in my eyes& weepy... Please send extra round of cuddles.

I am so happy that you have such wonderful good hearted people, that have taken you& sons under their wings!!!

Also I am so delighted in every way, that your receiving the right care, all the right supports to build a solid foundation underneath you& your sons, needed to create a positive future!!!

Nice isn't it, with stbx outside of the home, not to have be trippin over constantly someone's ego shells all the time! LOL!

Well, we're not home yet and I'm getting pretty restless to be honest...

I'm kinda struggling today a little...I passed by the house on my way home like I always do...and the truck was in the drive with the passenger door open...

Of course, that got me thinking...is he going to his mom's this weekend...thinking about him and what he could be doing...

I has to stop myself...think is I/We had dreams together...plans for the future and not I can't see past this weekend...because I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing next week...

It's just still grieving, missing him...sometimes I want to call but I don't...

I mean I'm not drownign or anything, it's just rough...I miss doing things with him, going places...

Well, I'm going back and watching this movie that my spon.'s H rented...with Cedric the entertainer...that's my STBX's name just spelled different!

L's sleeping and I thought about running up to the book store and getting a cup of coffee...just getting out of the house...bring F with me...he was asking for some time alone with me anyway!

L and my Spon. are going to bake some cookies tomorrow and I'm bring F shopping for another pair of shoes...

Then, we have a crawfish boil that evening that I purchased a ticket for...kids don't really eat crawfish...

Well, I'll be around later!

Hey Strivin,

Sorry to hear that you have a sick one. I know how hard it is when you have two kids and one is sick and the other is not. It feels impossible to make either one happy.

I understand your struggles and the sense of loss. In the second week of DC we talked about identifying and grieving losses. This is a natural part of your own healing and I think it absolutely has to be done.

I wrote this quote down from that week's video clip:

"You only grieve something when it means something to you."

Our marriage meant something to us, probably still do despite all the crap. That's why we came here to start with. Failure to grieve means we will get stuck in the recovery process.

BTW, I am now the unofficial MB VeeJay

http://youtube.com/E525

Check me out!

EPH-
WOO HOO! MB Vee Jay! You are moving up in the world! LOL!

Striven-
Well, my morning sickness is in check, I have gained about 20 pounds though- I think it is twins! Ha-Ha~

I hope that your little one gets better soon, you are doing great!
Sadmo

HI E and Sadmo...

E, I really don't know what to say, I know that it's a part of the grieving process and I have prayed that God will heal my heart...from what I understand he is the only one that can heal the end of a M...

You know sometimes I think that it would be great to have someone else in my life and then other times (most of the time) I think no, I'm just not ready yet...

Tonight, F and I sneak off to the bookstore, he likes playing with the trains and looking int he kids sections...we left about 9, I think...L was asleep so he stayed with my Spon.

I treated myself to a latte and off F went...

WE got home and my SPon. and her H was in their room, L was still asleep...F helped me undress him and get his night clothes on...he's still very warm...he woke up for a minute and we asked how he was doing...he sadi that he still didn't feel very good...so, F and I tucked him in and F's in here with me...

On weekend I let them stay up really late, "hoping" that they will sleep late the next day...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...if they get in trouble they go straight to bed...usually before turning in for bed, I check on them and their out and I make sure that they are ok and turn the TV out...

F said to me that he wished we were home and in the car on the way home he said that he awsn't going to be like his dad. I asked him what he meant and he said that he wasn't going to deal with his anger like his dad and that he wasn't going to cheat. I said that his dad had a few other things that he needed to work on like treating us better than he does other people...he agreed...

I said that STBX was a good person but was just making some bad choices. This is what I always say.

I said that STBX had his priorites mixed up...and I asked he if he knew what I was talking about and he said pretty much....so I explained that my first was makign sure that him and his brother was okay and that I had to make sure that I was ok because if I wasn't then I can't take care of them...I said that they came before OP...

F said that his dad did put OP before us...of course, this is what led to the converasion in the bedroom about wanting to be home...

THe point of getting out was spending a little time alone with F...he said that he wished just him and I could spend some time alone, so I made the time...

Making the time is something that STBX couldn't understand...he always said that he didn't have the time to do this or that...I would say that it wasn't a matter of time, it was a matter of making the time for the important things...

hence, the issue with porn and not taking care of his responsiblites...my IC and I were talking Thurs. about addiction, SA...because I was cluing her in on my other IC and what had happened...she was explaining that SA interfers with work and home...so I was explaining how his stuff HAD interferred with WORK and of course home life...

He had missed work because of it and the three of us really suffered from his neglect...

I think like BC, I REALLY do love my STBX...there are some really great things about him but the bad outweight the good and I can't see him coming back...being that person that I once loved so much I would tolerate all of his faults...

UM, that triggered a thought from last night, I called my Stepmom to check on how she was doing and the dr. just released her to go back to work...

Anyway, she said that she remember when I was tranferring some pics from our digital camera and I deleted them by accident how MAD STBX got...it was pics from the bike rally that we went to in Liberty, TX...all motorcycle pics and topless pics of the wet t-shirt contest, which I was in, TBH...that's another argument in itself...

Pics gone into thin air and God was he MAD...b/c my family was there he did pretty good but I still got cursed out...I had forgotten all about it...SM just said that she was shocked at how mad he got off some pics...it was OP we didn't even know!

I'm sure as time goes by I'll remember more...like LilSis, I question myself on OP accepting me with my past...

BC told me once that I have the transparency down pat and that I shouldn't change a thing...I know that's just a fear I will have to overcome, a belief from within that I will have to change thinking that I am less in some fashion...as if I'm somehow unworthy...

It's really like I flip flop...somedays I think that and others days I think that I will not have a problem in the future meeting someone who will accept me and "my mixed kids"...the fact of the matter is if they don't accept me and my kids then that's the red flag to back as far away as I can...

LOL...see what thinking about the future gets me! Nothing good! I have to remind myself to stay with today but that gets to be so hard sometimes...

Grieving the past...stressing over the future...forgetting that my Higher Power has a better plan for me than I have/had...

SAdmo...It's good to see that your feeling better, please update us on the growth of the baby (marriage)...I just "love" hearing about the little joys...

JMO, but I think that you both are headed in the right direction...I have hope for the two of you!

Perhaps, it will help you on your struggling days to think of your M as a newborn and growing into an infant, then a toddler...it's certainly is a slow process, bottle, to cereal, to stage one foods, then stage two, and finally solids...anything mom and dad eats...

I think that's why I like E's title so much and the analogy never hit my until now...

it's a slow painful process and just like when our child is first learning to walk we want to hold their hand, guide them, cushion the fall, but their comes a time when we have to tell ourselves that we CAN'T cushion that fall, hold their hand, guide them...because WE have done OUR part, to the best of our ability...

They KNOW what they need to do, it's just working up the courage to get the job done...and then what happens? Before we kow it, they are off and running before our eyes...no matter how bad we want it, they will do it in their our time and sometimes it means we just have to get out of their way...

You are doing great...you'll know when the time is right and what to do! Have Faith!

Supporting the two of you ALL the way! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> And thanks for letting me share...it's so comforting to read the feedback!

Wow, you went a lot deeper in analyzing my thread title than I did my self. Like I mentioned before, I took it from the song Rebirthing by Skillet, a song that became my personal anthem before all this mess started for me.

But now reading what you wrote - I had a light bulb moment.

What a great analogy. Thanks for sharing that.

You are right about only God being able to heal you. Dr. Myles Munroe says "Only God can heal a broken heart."

Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV) says

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.


That struck me when I read it the first time. I thought "Wow since God created me, he must know how to put me back together." You know what? He does and He will.

Another quote I wrote down was this:
"There is value in this season of my life."

I just wish I was God and could see the whole story of my life and be able to know when this season will be valuable to me.

So hang in there! As Mortarman has said to me before

You + God = the majority

Oh, one more thing just popped in my head. I can't remember if I read this here on MB or somewhere else but, it goes something like this:

You feel like you are in a dark tunnel, staggering along, not knowing where the end is, feeling lost and hopeless. You have to keep pressing on, because you may be right at the turn in the path is that enables you to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Who knows how many times we have given up when we were just inches from that turn in the path?

LOL...actually I thought about the analogy and included your title...

It just came to me last night...

Thanks for sharing Psalms and the other little tidbits...I don't really have time to talk this morning the boys are getting dressed and we have some things to do...

I like the quote about the value in this season...I would like to understand that more...I've heard about the seasons but I'm not understanding the whole thing...

Well, let me go before "I" get fused! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

L's feeling better this morning, he woke up talking at the top of his lungs! LMAO

Oh, I thought about copying that analogy on Sadmo's thread or starting a new thread with it for BS's to read over...I'm not sure if it's that noteworthy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Let's save the seasons discussion for tonight. I think I can help shed some light on it for you.

I look forward to it!

I'm at work, waiting on the mail and as soon as It's here I'll be out of here!

So, I've got some time to kill...LOL

bet there are other things you would like to kill <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

just kidding....

Hey...you got that right...I just killed some Olive Garden! LMAO

I can kill me some Olive Garden also.

On a similar note, a bunch of us from work go on Wednesdays to eat at this local place called Capris. They have a lunch special everyday, but Wednesday is lasagna day. Lasagna + salad + drink = $6.50 and it's GOOOOOOD.

OK, so let me know when you want to talk about the "seasons."

WEll, E I guess now is as good a time as any...

Got some bad news today, my uncle passed...him and his son were shrimping and he just dropped...his son worked on him for 30 minutes but nothing...the coroner pronounced him dead at the dock and they were bring him straight to get an autopsy...from their straight to the funeral home...

I was really close, but this is the second uncle that I've lost since we left home...I was nice enough to call STBX and let him know...told him I would call with the arrangements when I knew...

I talked to my mom and she'll be driving in either late tonight or tomorrow...Let's see there were seven kids, my mom's the third, then my uncle...so he's in his late 40's...

I'm doing good, I don't even remember seeing him at Christmas for our party...

Well, I saw his daughter at the hospital, she's a mess...I wanted to cry just seeing her in so much pain...I think she just made 21, then there's the two boys...I really feel for the oldest, having to do CPR on his dad and nothing.

My mom's side has had too many family reunions at the hospital...

Well, last night, my SPon.'s H got a call, one of his employees dead the same way...he was riding his bicycle and dropped, broke his neck. They think is was a heart attack also...

I think that I deal with death pretty good, I mean they are going to a better place.

When I got back from the hospital, L was just wakign up from his nap and F had been playing in the pool. SO both of them played in the pool for awhile...they were really having fun...only came inside because F got bite a few times by a horsefly...

You can bet that's where they'll be the next few days if we're not visiting the funeral home...I'll bring them to the wake but not the funeral itself...they really don't know him.

Well, My Spon. thinks that i need to go to a meeting tonight so I'm sure that I'll be on later...and around for a little while...

Rin,

I'm sorry about your uncle.

Still

Thanks Still, this is the second one since we've been gone from the house. One on my dad's side and today's on my mom's side...

You know Al-anon is so great...I went, didn't have time to talk, there was a new person there and just listening to her made me feel good about my life...

I'm not as upbeat as I usually am but I'm doing good...life is good...I'm safe, my boy's are safe, they are healthy and happy...plus tons more things...

So all in all, I have alot to be grateful for!