WEll, I got a call this morning...I have one person who will be going to court with me! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

That's her normal day off, and she's SPENDING IT WITH ME!

Hurray! If you be good things, good things happen, if you do bad things, bad things happen!

Great news Rin,

Popping by to wish you Happy Mom's Day

Still

Thanks, Still!...She's actually my Spon.'s sponsor! we talked this morning and after talking with her I decided to go get the kids and I a DVD player...since STBX didn't send the kid's when I asked...

I charged it but I think it was worth it and the kid's will be happy...I brought all of their movies when we left and we hadn't got to enjoy them yet...so that will be some awesome family time together and now if I want to go rent THe Passion, I can and watch it alone...

LOL...since i was at it...I got "Happy Feet", the kids and I saw it at the movies and LOVED it, so I picked that up along with some other movies, like Steel Magnolia, Harlem Nights, Pay it Forward, and The Bodyguard...

And I didn't had a CD player for the CD that my Spon. sent me in the mail yesterday...and they are so cheap, so I got one of those...

INstant happiness, LOL, Mother's day presents! All that STBX CAN'T take away from me...besides the bills due this week, I'll pay it then...

I figure the payback is two fold, once for me and second for the kids...NOW, that a Mother's day present...just the joy that I will get to see from them will be awesome!

I'll looking so forward to getting them back tomorrow night...

I always appreciated the little things in life but being in Plan B has deepen that! It's got it's ups and downs but I wouldn't change where I'm at to save my life! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Just checkin in...yesterday was okay...not my best day but it was good...spent time with the family, my mom's side...then left from there and stopped at the walking track and walked two miles...

wanted to do more but had the wrong shoes on...lesson learned...

Feeling a bit low today...not sure why...haven't really examined it...prehaps there is no reason and I should just accept it...I don't know...

Good thing...it's temporary...this too shall pass!

I know I didn't sleep well...dreaming about STBX and [email]cr@p...crazy[/email] stuff...wrote out my list of witnesses this morning and what they could testify too...18...a few we will not be able to locate but figured my lawyer can use that to his advantage...

Well, I'll be around...just not really up for posting to others...feel like I'm not in a good place and don't have much to offer today! I know as the day goes on it will get better...I'm working on it!

Oh, F mentioned to me last night that he talked to FIl and FIL asked him if F was going to come stay the summer with him again this year. That's creating a little turn=moil for me...I told F this morning that I was going to have to talk to my laywer about it becuase of the sitch...

I can only do so much!

Hey got your mail. Response coming later.

I'm in the same place - just kinda existing. I have IC this afternoon so we will probably explore that.

There is a quite the discussion on my thread about plan B. I'll probably jump in tonight. I really am struggling with what to do.

Waiting on God but also thinking He needs to hurry up <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Ah, His timing is perfect. What can I do except wait and be ready?

Just take it one day at a time. Pray for the strength to get through today and let tomorrow worry about itself.

You are doing great!

Hi, E! I'm sorry that you are feeling the same way today...

Yep, his timing is always perfect!

I'll try to see what I can do about reading you thread, perhaps I can provide some insight...we'll see!

You are doing great too! Best wished with IC!

Rin,

I read your post on my thread. Congratulations on a year.

Ups and downs. No matter what we do in life there are ups and downs.

Don't examine everything just some things you need to let be.

You are doing great. So keep your head up.

Thanks, I'm pretty proud to be here a year...MB has helped me change my life for the better regardless of the outcome of my M...

My heads up, I plan to keep it that way...just a matter of acceptance...to be honest, if there is something behind the low today, it can stay there...

I think that this is just a part of being comfortable in your own skin and acknowledging that! plain and Simply...

Saying "okay today I feel low!" and leaving it be and just being...

Makes me thing of LA telling me that we are human being not doing...thing is I can sit well with that today opposed to yesterdays...

I thought I knew, but I didn't...every day I see the growth in me and that's what inspires me to keep going...

((((RIN))))

Thinking about you.

Impressed at how quickly you turned things around today, from a really rough start this morning to reading your most recent post that sounds so hopeful and chin up. You're pretty amazing!

-AmI.

Thanks AmI...i'm feeling much better now...I went grab something to eat for lunch...something I rarely do and went to the walking track...

Walked a mile and a half and just got in...so with yesterdays, I have three and a half miles in and I planned to bring the kids this afternoon...

When I mentioned it to them this morning they were excited...so that will be another three if the rain holds out...

I've decided to tackle the 30 lbs. I gained this past year...for far I've lost five and am having to retire one pair of pants that I bought after I left the house! I average 2 to 3 pounds a week, so if I keep this up perhaps in two months I'll be good!

LOL...who knows maybe I'll get up to jogging again...figure I can't afford a gym membership right now, may as well use the resource I have available to me!

Well, I met with my lawyer. The D itself is no fault...the reason for all of the [email]cr@p[/email] is for custody...

He said that he was sorry that I was having to relive all of this stuff and hoped that this part would soon be over. I have been instructed to gather the good stuff now and even gave him a list of witnesses that could testify to me being a good parent. Now, I've made called to the schools and the programs that I have enrolled the kids in.

To prove that I have been the one to do all of that.

This was a little something that throw me for a loop with the house but I think that was his personal opinion and not his professional...So, for the time being I have to remain still until court.

THe internet connection at the house is in and out so I'm posting when I can...

I took off this afternoon to relax and that hasn't been able to happen yet with all the phone calls that I've had to make. At least we're focusing on the positive right now and not the negative.

Even gathering the info has been easy because these people know me and my evolvment with the kids so they have been VERY supportive. I should have all teh infomation that I need in the next few days.

My lawyer even said that he feels that STBX isn't being honest with his Attorney. Apparently, the two are friends and have been opposing counsel in several cases together but NOTHING like mine! His words, not mine! He's never had anything like this but has had worse...

Well, I'm still trying to calm myself down because I was Extremely emotional after I got out of his office, but F helped with that. I got a call from the school and chose to go up there instead of dealing with it on the phone.

I met with the principle and the teacher. We all talked to F and set some ground rules. So, I went from feeling like the world was ending to extremely p!ssed off. F will have all the classwork that he refused to do in class tonight to do!

Well, let me stop...I've got to recenter!

Oh, (((((RIN)))))

Kids sure have a killer sense of timing when it comes to acting up, huh? It's amazing how they seem to pick the lowest point possible when they go in for the kill.

Hopefully you're able to get your little guy under some control. Thank goodness it's almost time for school to be out, huh? What are you going to do with them for the summer?

It sounds like you're on top of getting the info for your lawyer. Pretty interesting that he thinks your STBX is lying to his own attorney. It will be very interesting to see how that works out in court.

Hang in there, girl. The world's not ending. And your DS might be a turkey sometimes but it's temporary.

(((((hugs)))))
-AmI.

Rin,

I almost fell over laughing when I read your post. So he wants custody but you had to go to the school. LOL.

Like I said before I really don't think you have anything to worry about.

You are being completely honest with your A and you can document what you are saying. Your H seems to be digging himself into a deep hole.

Before my FWW's A I was a great H and a great dad. The problem was my FWW was a SAHM. She took them to the doctors, dentists, she was at school more etc.

So even though she had an A and all the other stuff she gets more custody. LOL.

YOU are and have been the primary caregiver. Your H is just trying to stick it to you.

His A probably can sense that and he has to put up a fight based on what his client tells him, Even if he doesnt' fully believe it.

In my state the only way her A even mattered is if it directly impacted the kids. Like the OM coming to my door and causing a scene.

So let him sling mud. Prove you were the primary care giver and you win. Doing it without slinging back.

PRICELESS!!!!!!

(((((((((((((((((((Rin)))))))))))))))))))))))

Alrighty girl...I gotta tell ya something. As much as it feels all emotional and weird right now, you are doing REALLY WELL!! Some of this emotional stuff has to do with dredging up the past--some of it has to do with just releasing some energy from all that has happened--some of it is actual sadness from having lost your family. It's cool...it's normal and understandable to be all emotional after the lawyer and then your son's stunts. Just go with it and accept it for what it is, okay...a good cry.

Regarding your son having a little cranio-rectal inversion...let me just remind you that kids have a way of knowing when something's going on and when mom is feeling tense too. Unlike adults, though, kids don't have a lot of skills for dealing with "feeling worried" or "feeling all upset inside because something's going on." Maybe HE thought he'd be home in his own bed by now too and has no one to tell that he's mad about not being able to go home! My point is this: don't excuse his bad behavior "because of the divorce" but try to bear in mind that sometimes kids don't have all the coping techniques we do and WE barely make it!! So just give that a thought!!

(((((((((((Rin)))))))))) Ya did good! Keep going!!! You can do it!!!!!

Your faithful friend,



CJ

Rin,

You're doing EXACTLY what you should be doing. Keep it up. I know how overwhelming it gets.

Maybe I should send you some Cigars and a couple a ght's. They help me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hang in there. A conclusion is on the way. Just a little longer.

AmI- Thanks for dropping by...I miss you so much these days; however, I'm so happy that things for you and FWH are going well!

Oh, and Happy MB anniversary! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, kids and the stuff they pull...thing is there's 7 school days left...F spent 3 hours on his classwork tonight and made it to #12...so, he'll pick up where he left off tomorrow and well, continue with that until it's finished...

I wrote the teacher a note explaining that I understood her frustration and that I would follow through with him, even if it's carries into the weekend!

Frog-

No goose! STBX doesn't know anything about F's behavior, I've been acting as a single parent...no communication with STBX...dealing with the two by myself...not much different from living with him to be honest! Well, YOU KNOW! LMAO

I provided 18 witnesses with names, and at least phone numbers...A asked if they could be called, I said sure! Then he had me sign and date the bottom...said that he would be sending a copy yo STBX's A...I said that was fine! We also added some names...like my MIL and FIL, who have said many times that I was a good mother...LMAO

AND I SOOOO agree on the priceless! How you like the witness thing with FIL and MIL? Good huh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Laywer asked about my ONS...asked if I started it, I said yes, that was all me! I just figure there's nothing to hide! I mean what's the point anyway! To me, there's no payoff in hiding anything!

CJ- I was feeling overwhelmed a little but nothing like the day of the funeral and court! Last Wed. was so hard! Today, well, I didn't have a whole lot of down time but it was spent productive!

Oh, I made a point to tell my A, that I had no intentions of trying to drag STBX's name through the mud becasue I do have to deal with him for the rest of my life...

And it's true, I feel like STBX is goingt o hate me anyway, regardless of how things go but I feel like taking the higher ground will benefit me...peace of mind...being able to talk to my kids about this when they get older and let them figure out for themselves what REALLY happened...

Oh, on the ride home, F said that he asked his dad to bring his bike back from HN1 camp site...I asked him if he thought his dad would do that for him...F said NO!

I said okay, I just wanted to know what you thought he would do, so that you wouldn't get your hopes up, but he might, you never know!

It's that a shame...a eight year old knows what he can expect from his dad and not! I wasn't sure that F saw it before today but now I know!

BC- Thanks...real soon I'll be wanting to celebrate...at least now I know why I was gathering this evidence...for Custody...crazy...I told A, Well, all of this stuff doesn't prove me unfit and he said that I was right!

So, I've got 313 days left to Final D-day! Good to know! A said that was us taking the higher ground, so that it wouldn't be public record...I got some questions answered today and some I didn't...

like the summer thing with F, he talked to FIL and FIL wanted to know if F was going to go spend the summer with him again...This is up in the air right now, according to A because I don't have custody yet!

IN my mind, I'm thinking two weeks at a time should be good enough...perhaps at teh beginning of the summer and again at the end...there's only 7 days of school left...another reason why I'm not being more sturn with F...I understand that he's tired of school!

So, they get out on the 24th and I'll just keep him until we figure out this custody thing on the 7th!

Thanks BC, I just re-read that last line...that says a lot!

OMG, I got the best compliment today...a friend of mine doesn't want to have kids right now but she said that she's been thinking about it more and more becasue of me! She said that she wants to be a great mom like me becuase I'm so strong!

I was speechless and I told her so! All I could say was Thank you! (Frog, preparing for my 4th step!) LMAO...

I can't hold on to that tight enough today! THat right there will make me smile for days!

Well, guess I need to check in on a few peeps while I can!

Thank YOU ALL FOR THE AWESOME SUPPORT! Sometimes it feels like I'm walking through the fires of [email]H@LL![/email] LMAO

SB,

Good for you!! What you are doing now with your A is shoring up the courts perception of you.

Remember the courts job in custody is to do "what is in the best interest of the children"

Depending on the childrens ages it is different. Your kids would be better served with a stable environment.

I thought his A was building a case for CS but I don't understand why he is slinging the mud. That is a real turnoff, especially if it cannot be substantiated.

18 witness' are great. LOL. and the MIL and the FIL. I would be wary of that. Blood is thicker then water, remember FIL got STBX the A.

I really believe you have your ducks in a row and will do well. Your H seems to be throwing stuff at the wall hoping it sticks.

I can tell from your tone you are handling it well. Much better then you could have ever done a year ago. I guess you have learned.

Good morning Frog! Yes I am handling this better than a year ago. I was a wreck back then, couldn't make heads or tails of the simpliest thing...reading into everything! LMAO...YOU KNOW!

Well, I'll pick up religion education papers, and F's school records at lunch...then after work, eyecare! I called the dentist and F hasn't been since Sept. 05'...Oops!...L's finally 4...so I scheduled appt. for both next Tues., I'll get that paperwork then...

Waiting on L's registation records from school and the program I have him in...the lesson plans I get once a week, with MY signature...

This is so in the bag for me! Not to mention, I'm having a few OP write recommendation letters for me stating their thoughts on me being a good mom. I mean come on, they have come to work with me alot over the past six and a half years. My bosses and coworkers can attest to all the time off I've taken for them, appt., going to school, etc.

L's got graduation on the 31st from his program...we've missed the last two meeting b/c their were with STBX at the time!

LMAO...I just look at it this way...I'm making it easy for the judge! His job should be easier! Only thing I can't get is their medical records, I would have to have my A fax a signed statement by me and there's a fee for that. I think that we'll have enough evidence without that.

Had to have a little talk with my boss this morning, since last Tuesday, day before the funeral, I've been messing up a little...could have been serious. She's very understanding and I told her that I was very sorry and I would DO BETTER! I'm sure I'll be less distracted in the near future, until than I'll just have to stop multi-tasking because I'm not completeing some stuff and making mistakes.

I think I can sympathises with F right now as far as concentration level. This to shall pass!

Point IS I KNOW I'M doing better, I've worked very hard to get to where I am today, and I just need to hard a little harder sometimes and rest, really rest when I'm off!

Awareness is the key! Right?

Thanks so much for the facts...LOL...that you researched that REALLY helped...I read it several times and you came to mind yesterday when I was hearing the [email]cr@p[/email] that STBX was saying. I know he's pi$$ed at me right now, and he's trying to get back at me. If that's what makes him feel better go for it but I hope that he doesn't expect me to take it laying down! I feel that I've done too much of that already!

Rin,

Again, I can't say enough how well you are doing. You amaze me, taking care of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING!

You have documented and documented and taken care of business. You are dealing with a lot of emotional fallout with your children and yours. Dealing with a standard of living, hopefully albeit temporary, that is not what you'd hoped for. Finding your way to the proper support for you, and sticking to it.

I am just so impressed with you, Rin. What a trooper!

Oh, the movies you purchased are great! My dad got me a copy of Steel Magnolia's for Mother's Day; I love that movie. Pay it Forward is a killer, though. I don't know if I can watch that again, so sad.

Hey, Rin.

I'm always around, just don't have much experience in Plan B world, or any good advice normally. So I just read and cheer you on silently. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Can't believe it's been a year, wow, what we've been throughin a year!

Still in your corner!

-AmI.