excuse me for a moment. Got to go flip my sausage. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Strivn-
You sound great today! On top of it all!

When I talked to my lawyer, he said that they would determine how much equity, minus the debt, that we had, then we would split the equity 50/50. (Which is how they do it in my state).
So say after they throw everything in, and the equity would be worth 120,000. He would get 60,000, as would you. You guys would then pick and choose your equity... like a savings account, or a car, or your retirement plan... It gets confusing. My car was worth more than his, and is almost paid off, so it would be a huge chunk of 'my equity' if I kept the car.

I do not mean to be a downer! I just had a RUDE awakening when I went to the lawyer. But, I will survive! As will you!

And, on an important side note... you like all of the same drinks as me!!! I thought that was funny!

Keep up your positive attitude, you are a great woman!!

YOU are GOING TO h)LL! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I need to sit back an tan my legs...I'm dark complexed to begin with...but my legs are white...and I'm nice and brown on top...

need to break out the kiddie pool and sit in it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

BC-

Careful! Don't flip your sausage TOO much! LOL!

Rin,

Do not settle with POD's. Take the TM's to your A and then be still.

This is exactly what the court hates. Men seeking more custody then they want or can really handle as a tool to get what they want in the D.

Remember what I said about them being two very different proceedings. The D and the CS.

Now his A will probably be very upset with the TMing.

I will give you kids if you give me house. OUCH for him. Cannot unring that bell.

Once you have CS then the house will follow. Status quo for the kids.

Do not communicate any further.

The TMing is very damaging to Pod's

Where I live usually the parent with the majority of custody gets to keep the house until the kids are 18. It is joint property but the court will not make them sell the home.

If the house is sold then the equity is split. My step dad gave his first wife his part of the house for a reduction in child support.

This is really, really good for you and the kids.

You are doing great just remember to center yourself.

Take solice or joy in knowing every time STBX does something mean and selfish in the long run it will come back and bite him ten fold.

When all is said and done tell him when he picks up the kids he can see the porch.

Sadmo, thanks for sharing that info with me...see what I was wondering about is his truck costs more than my car and my car is ALMOST paid off...$600 to go...that's going to be paid of before the finalized date...

if I'm understanding this right that that is going to hurt me...

I'm going to have to finsih posting later...I have to go to IC now...crazy day...busy, busy, busy, chicken running around with my head cut off day...

I do have to say that I have no intention or need or want to contact PODS again...I'm happy waiting on court...14 days!

I faxed it over and plan to do just that.


I thought the same exact thing...this is really not good for him.


Would I be a bad person if I celebrated when it does come back to bite him? I firmly believe that until he does right by me and those babies, anything that he does is going to fail...or is that just my wishful thinking?

I hear so many WS stories on them going down the tube...

I just have to look at this as a business venture, keep my emotions out of this, and just take care of me and my babies...

Thanks again Frog...you always have solid advice...for some reason you have the ability to calm me down...I mean I was working on it and I was thinking , just sit back, this is all going to unfold the way it should...

I've got a good lawyer and a great judge! Awesome support...

I just don't think that is the person you want to be.

In our lives people have wronged us. To me there is a dignity in not celebrating the harm that comes to people I don't care for.

I guess it keeps me centered to because lets face it sometimes good things happen to bad people.

So I also don't get upset when good things happen to people I don't care for.

Just know that it will bite him because eveyone can see through it.

Just remember some people just don't think right. So what is right for them seems ok. Hard to get someone to see they are wrong when their values are different.

So don't hold your breath. If things go wrong he probably wont' take credti for it anyway.

I think it would be a bit of an empty celebration. You're too good a person for that I would try to restrict myself to the self-validation part ("See? I was right. I wasn't crazy. It wasn't my fault."), but even that I would try to keep to myself. Plus, you already know it's true (but it's hard to remember, sometimes).

High road. Just stay on it. You're doing so well!

(((Rin)))

I was just checking there was another part to the questions that was about me celebrating my good fortune, but to be honest...however this turns out, I don't think I'll feel like celebrating one way or the other...


My gain is his lose, his gain is my lose...no win...

yeah, i've thought long and hard about my reaction to the judge saying I get the house and I don't think I can even look at him...or I would just look him in the eyes for a split second to know if I'm going to have to watch my back or not...

I'll be able to tell by the look in his eyes...course, I'm sure that I will be watching my back either way to be honest...

I'll be on high alert real soon...at least all of the threats have been documented...

Can you tell I'm getting nervous about this whole thing?

The high road is easy, I talk about alot of mean things I would like to do...but never do it...fantasy...


No, it's not the person I am or want to be!

I know. And I also know why you said it.

Hang in there, Rin.

Thanks SD...sometimes I just wish he feels the pain that his choices are inflicting...

Time will heal!

My HB (half-brother) just called...remember him...just got out of jail for stealing from my parents...

Anyway...remember I said that my HS (half-sister) got her first DWI...well, come to find out the kids were in the car...so, she got child endangerment too...

My HB said that last night she decided to drink...got in a fight with her BF (she'll still Med BTW)...she was trying to make her BF jealous with OM...she also tried stabbing him...and she called the cops...

Well, whatever happens and she tried grabbing the police officer's belt, so she's in jail...still on probation for the DWI...

So, I found out the oldest DS, it living with her dad, and the other two are with the BF right now, and my parents are on their way to go pick them up!

What is it with these people over there? Is there something in the water that makes them goes stupid? I am SOOO glad I did not grow up with these poeple...love them to death...but they are losing their minds!

Drugs...Alcohol...thank God for Al-anon! And I didn't add all the crazy details!

Will this be on COPS?

That would be cool! It just goes to show you what WS will do!

I think that she's a good example of a WS in a spiral...

I have to say that I am so angry with my sister right now...I can't even imagine WHAT she was thinking...

I swear if I could take those kids in, i would...

I mean she just failed to mention the child endangerment...she knew I would jump her case big time about that and if I don't cool off before I talk to her...AHHH!

SHe a SAHM...I just don't get it...here i am getting to watch her destroy her life and deeply effect these kids...both my godchildren...

The dad's out of the picture but the grandparents aren't...my parents are in no condition to take care of these kids...they're barely making it themselves...

I would gladly take them...but I know I'm not in any position to do anything right now...

Good Lord!

Whatever you do, don't drink THAT water!

It is frustrating to have to watch them mess up not only Their life, but the kids being involved just puts me OVER to top,too.

Hope someday she heeds your wise words and straightens out, for everyone's sake.

I hope so too! I was just talking with a co-worker of mine...he said next thing I knew she was going to ask me to could live with me...

I said NO, she can live on the street before I let her in my house...now her kids, that's a different story...

Besides I don't need those problems around my kids...

I know that sounds REALLY BAD, but it's tough love time!

Well, what a day! The kids and I went hang out tonight and just as we were walking up , me carrying chair, snack bag, and ice chest...

Who's standing right there!

STBX with a group of his friends...I let the kids say hi, I didn't talk to him, and then I called them to come with me...

I went to the other side of the courtyard and set up...later, I found out that he left! So, we just got home...I was so nervous and didn't know what to do but I think that I did a good job!

Good job, Rin.
Bet that put a big lump in your throat!
Wasn't he suposed to be working tonight, that was why he didn't take the kids?

Hope you ahd a nice time at whatever event it was, anyway. Hard to recover from those things sometimes, but I hope you were able to do alright after he left.

-AmI.