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My lawyer just called said that he would forward the email over to POWS Attonrey and asked that I not response to it...i said that I had no plans too...
He also said that that he didn't know at this point how he can speed up the process at this point on the house, living arrangement and asked that I please just be patience a little longer!
He said that he knew that POWS' attorney was in court this week with criminal cases and is tired up...that he hasn't heard anything from them on our offer!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
Good move. Do NOT respond to his texts or e-mails. He is on the edge and needs to totter there for a while.
I am on my way out the door, here's my addy. We can talk later if you want. I am on vacation this week and @ home doing small stuff.....lots of small stuff. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
**edit**
Hugz, L.
Last edited by MBLBanker; 11/13/1112:20 PM. Reason: removing email address
Wish there didn't have to be so much junk to deal with!!
It's amazing how polarizing someone else's D can become. Kind of sucks people in. I'm sure STBX is painting a very one-sided picture for the people on 'his side' -- that's just how it goes. If he can make you look like the monster, then he looks like the victm. Not a new card, you're just getting it from a new person.
Brush it off. You already knew the neighbors were meddling and obnoxious.
E-mail me and you can send your # or I can send mine. Let's get you calmed down so you can deal with this issue. You need a clear mind, calm heart and lots of support.
OF COURSE HE DID/DIDN'T. I mean I hate to point it out but past performance is a good indicator of future deeds.
I am sure his A know there is nothing Rin can do. There is nothing her A can do. It is what it is right now and it will continue to stay that way. The court system is slow and they are using that to their advantage.
Of course he didn't pay the mortgage, of course he was late with CS. of course of course of course.
This is like the story of the frog and the scorpion.
There is a frog (not me of course) and he is swimming on his merry little way, when he comes across a scorpion that is stuck on a patch of land in the middle of the river.
The scorpion wasn't paying attention and the water rose and cut off his path to dry land and the water was rising. The scorpion was going to drown.
The scorpion says to the frog "hey frog can you give me a ride to dry land?" The frog says "heck no you are a scorpion you will sting me and I will die." The Scorpion says "if I sting you and you die I will drown, so you can trust me."
The frog thought about it and said "ok that make sense hop on my back."
As the frog was swimming the scorpion to safety the scorpion stung the frog.
The frog looked up and said why did you do that I am going to die and you are going to drown. The scorpion said "I am a scorpion that is what we do by nature."
I truly hope no one here is waiting for STBX to do the right thing.
The time for that has past. He is not going to man up and do the right thing.
Rin you need to deal with the reality that as long as this can take, it will probably take that long.
Ask your A what the worst case scenario is and that is what it will probably be.
If you need to get out try to find a short term rental but don't wait for STBX. He will sting you if you let him.
BS 38 FWW 35 D Day 10/03 Recovery started 11/06 3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby
When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
Frog is correct. $$ issues must be dealt with immediately.
Do you have a way to make the payment? Log all efforts with the lawyer later. You want to have a record of this issue.
$$ matters are often turning points since $$ has no friends.... you either pay or don't. No middle ground and $$ does NOT succumb to babbling or anger.
Wow, everyone, i have so much to response too...I'm calmer now...thank you all for your support...
i will post individually to everyone later...i'm still at work...then I have to pick up the kids...
i can say this, I'm not about to make it easier on POWS...the truth is the truth...plain and simply...
Rockbottom on isle 9...this way for POWS...LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
The neighbors will get there too! Someday! I'm just going to get out of the way!
i have afew emails that I need to return also...I promise to get to them..I've lost some time today at work freaking out!
I quit smoking yesterday...well, guess I'll try again...
i do have to say that I don't thnk the kids are suffering at all...how could they with they don't ask about him and question if he's lieing to them too! this is more F than L...
I KNOW that pows talked to his Attorney today...there should be a response soon...it appears that lots of OP are reacting huh?
(i was called Classy!) COOL! Thank BUGS!
well, I'm trying to run a company here and I have a truck coming in to pick up some material for a customer with the bosses gone for the day...
Thanks Again!
O- no, I've been carrying other stuff that he hasn't been paying, I'd have to kill my saving and i'm not about to use that...I'll need it down the line...it's not much anyway...
Been saving since I left home!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
I quit smoking yesterday...well, guess I'll try again...
Rin honey, give yourself a break. With all the [email]cr@p[/email] you've got going on in your life right now, I don't think you need to worry about this yet.
BTW: I quit last Friday, was smokeless until Monday morning. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> (and I'm not going through anything like you are!) One thing at a time sweetie.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
Just know that I am keeping you and your boys in my prayers. Good things are on the horizon for you. Rise up and meet them standing tall. And keep us updated! The suspense is killing me!
Me, BW 33
WH 38
DD3
Married 5/3/02, together since 1998
D-Day 11/6/06, 12/4/06
WH attempted suicide 2/5/07
Plan B 4/16/07, Plan D 4/30/07
Order of protection filed 5/3/07 (irony not lost on me)
D final 10/7/07???
My StoryOngoing Saga
Quitting smoking is a decision not to be entered into until you are really ready. You are basically DIVORCING a friend, and Rin, you are already in the midst of a D. Don't overwhelm yourself, or fool yourself into thinking quitting is easy.
It is really tough, so save that for another time. It has to be a choice that you are fully ready to do. It's a drug, and you are addicted, and addictions, as we all know, are pretty tough to kick. One thing at a time Rin. Keep it on the backburner, and definitely quit when you are ready. You will be so happy (after withdrawal) that you did!
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
I get an ulcer just READING about your goings-on with the As and the HNs and POWS. Good Lord, wait until you can spend an entire day without some drama before trying to quit smoking!
That's an order.
Do I have to get Mama Bee over here?
Because then when you DO have a day with no drama, and it's the right time to quit, then we can all kick your a$$ to keep you off the cancer sticks. That'll be fun!
OKay, on the smoking thing I'm still going to listen to my CD that I purchased with hyponic suggestions...and keep trying...
That's $960 a year! THat's a nice saving...if I can't quit right now, the best case, is that I cut back...I'm tired of it...I'm a slave...I have a problem...
On the living thing, I'm going to pursuit talking to the manager at the bank I deal with...he knows that I'm responsible and the sitch...I'll ahve some more things to explain about assets and such...
One way or the other I'm going to try to get the boys and I out of this...then, if I do, more power to me! I DID it!
I'll have the $750 freed up in the next month b/t the car and the loan at this managers bank...I've been creating myself a good place...I have about the same saved...I'm going to do something!
I'm also meeting with an agency next Wed., we are considered homeless and b/c of the sitch we qualify for assistance regardless of my income...so, I'm meeting with them to find out what they can help me with...
I have some thigns in the works it's just all SOOOO very slow...
Well, F got some b-day money and he wants me to bring him to target to pick out some Geo Tracs Train stuff...I'm also going to give him his b-day money two days early...so he can get something nice...
BTW, when I get another place, I'm turning off the utilities at the house and transferring them to my place...MOF, I think I'm going to disconnect the phone and long distance...he doesn't need it and neither do I...that will save me about $30 a month right there!
That's what cell phones are for...I hadn't done anything with it yet b/c I planned on getting internet service when I moved back into the house...I wonder if I can just put it on hold? I'll ahve to see!
Well, off to the store...I'm not going to the meeting tonight, Spon. went and F was complianing of a tooth ache...the dentist told him to floss and he did...I gave him some meds and he's doing better...
Oh, this is the HN that has MY motorcycle in her driveways...you know the one that I think POWS is trying to sell to them...guess I'm screwing up that plan too by refusing to sell so I don't get screwed in the process!
I'm in a really good place...feeling better...more determined...not depressed like I was earlier today...
All of the support, the wonderful things that you have all said, the friendship, true friendship...I greatly appreciate it and if you guys need me I will be there the best that I can for you!!!
Frog- that was my thinking about when it there a "good time to quit"...at least I can cut back...something...I want to quit and I'm going to try...this sucks (smoking)...
It is pouring down raining...black, black, black here...wind...horrible stuff...
The boys are thrilled in the living room with F's new stuff and I didn't have to touch anything! F put it all together himself!
I let my Spon. read the email...I told here that I didn't read it and had it filtered...
LA-Thanks again SOOO very much...the last thing this neighbor told me back in March was POWS was not the monster I was making him out to be...I didn't say that he was a monster, her words, not mine! Yeap, I knew better than to read it...
Sounds like I'm the problem yet once again! Well, she can think, the other neighbor can think that, and POWS can continue to think that...
When I broke into his email account, what two weeks ago, and saw my folder labeled B!tch, I reacted and changed the name, then, changed it back b/c I didn't want himt o know that I had been in there...
I deleted the emails with pics of me in them to his friend/co-worker...forwarded a few to me...cleaned up everything and got out...there was no way I wanted him to have those pics!!!
One day, I might break back in and rename my folder to Goddess! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
ANyway, the fog appears to be like the flu over there...it's easily infecting them all...of course, she wouldn't see any of this as abuse, when she chases her H down the driveway at 2 in the mornign, yelling and screaming, waking us (WH and I) up across the street...
I'm very happy to be away from all these unhappy, unhealthy people...if I could do something about the kids being at the HNs I would but I can't, just document that it!
LA-as far me backing down...that's not going to happen...not no but HECK NO! I will keep documneting, yelling the truth at the top of my lungs if I have too...
Why should I bow down for her? Or for POWS? To enable them? I think I've done my fair share of that in the past...let them all fall, that clan deserves each other...and they will all met their demise one day too!
I once told her that I thought POWS held it against me for not having a girl and that's why he loved on her DD so much...and a few other things in that conversation...she simply said no, I'm sure that's not what he thinks...no questions, no understanding...nothing...just dismissed me and told me I was wrong...
It's amazing how you can see things soooo clearly when you are out of the sitch...I don't see how her H puts up with her and POWS...or the OHN's H...
I'm happy to be where I am today, I sure wouldn't change it ...it took me a long time to come to reality myself...to face the fact that POWS was abusive...
No, he never hit me, but it doesn't mean that he wouldn't have one day given the chance...I have enough emtional bruises and scars to deal with...think I would have rathered to get hit...that heals easier...
Well ladies and gentlemen...stick around...I may pull off some miracles in the coming weeks..watch out here comes SHE-RA! MAster of her universe!
WEll, I just talked to POWS' BF...the one that OW wanted to go home with...I was really careful about what I said to him...
BF informed me that he will be coming down here to work, I told him that I couldn't offer him a place to stay but I was sure that POWS could b/c he has plenty of room...
Well, POWS told him that he couldn't stay with him except every once in a while b/c of the courts stipulations...I told BF that was a lie...that there was none...
He said that he would figure something out...I asked when the last time he talked to POWS and he said ten minutes ago...RED FLAGS for me!
I see that POWS hasn't changed...since putting off his BF...not something new, or wayward...POWS has been doing this for years...of course we know if It doesn't benefit POWS then it's not going to happen!
I can't believe he lied, well, I can...to his BF...
The way I see it, if POWS would stop all teh traveling that he's doing...slidell, baton rouge, gulfport, ms, somewhere else in MS, buying clothes for himself, Tommy Hilfigers, and new tools then he would have enough to pay his bills, CS, and attend to the things that need to be attended too..
But of course, that would be the responsible thing to do and we all kwon that's not going to happen...
I can't belive that I married this man on my our free will...ignoring the signs, well, overlooking it fro years...all the cheating...the selfishness...the poor treatment of me and the kids...
I can NOT believe I tolerated this from this little boy...he's so worthless in my book...no honor, no respect...
????????????????The revolving door of our M...a love/hate relationship! ???????????????????????
Anyway, I didn't really feel like talking to POWS BF...I'm having a lot of distrust today, and excused myself from the conversation rather quick, saying that I needed to check on the boys and get ready for bed myself!
After BF mentioned that POWS was in B.Rvisiting a few weekends ago, I just got pi$$ed off...then the comment about not letting BF stay there...and then I thought about the possiblily of another OW in B.R. that he could have been sleeping with for years behind my back...
It just threw me into THIS mode...anger...????????????????????...but that's not the person who I am...???????????????????????...
That would be the only reason to hold out for the house...it would be like laughing in his face...saying well, you told me I would never get teh kids...I got them...you said that I would never get the house...well, I got that too...what else Do you want to say so I can prove you wrong again!
I hAve to hope that somewhere in that little brain of his he knows how horrible of a person he is and occasionally he thinks about it and hates himself...
Okay, I'm not done venting but I guess I need to stop...it's healthy but not really...just workign me up more and more...useless...
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
