I GOT YOU FROG! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! LMAO

Do you think it's possible or do you know of any sitch where the courts have awards less than every other weekend?...just curosity...I don't think I have...

I was thinking about it last night, out of four nights this month, the kids have spent 3 at the neighbors house!

Frog, Rent a backhoe for POWS..the shovel's a little slow for me! LMAO Or we can use IHC's bulldozer of stupidity! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You can agree to the EOW setup, with right of first refusal.

That way if the kids will end up at someone else's house, you get to keep them instead. That's more likely to get a court to agree to than trying to have them grant him even less time than every other weekend. But it ends up having the same effect.

Cool, I have told my attorney I wanted first right to refusal...

So that could apply to this sitch also...it's not like he's going anywhere...he's across the street...but they are not in his care?

Well not completely.

Remember Custody is one of the factors in Support.

It is a basic formula.

# of Children
His income
Her income
% of custody
Then a few other things. IE insurance and day care maybe.

So if he only really has the kids 15% of the time but the arrangement says 30% he got over.

So for Rin I would bring that up and say hey 3 out of 4 nights my kids were at HIS neighbors house while he was ??????

In other words don't walk out giving him 30% and him not having them that much.

You need to know it is typical of men to want more custody on paper to reduce the Support payment.

I wouldn't allow this.

He wanted the fight give it too him.

It is in your financial best interest.

Frog makes a good point, and you should definitely consider it. JMHO, though, I personally would still go about it the other direction (not saying that he's wrong, he's right about how CS is calculated).

For me, I'd be more interested in getting the parenting time figured out and the way you want it first, you can always go back and modify CS later.

And I would think that a court would be much more likely to award EOW and right of first refusal than a one-night-a-month kind of deal.

I also don't think that there would be a big enough difference between the CS at 4 nights a month and the CS at one night a month to make it into a fight. They are both very minimal amounts of time. You'd have to check your own state calculation though (in our state, it would not make a difference at all in the calculation).

Ofering EOW appears to be reasonable. And courts like things that appear reasonable.

Then, once you have everything ruled on, he's going to start flaking. Missing visitation, bailing, picking up late and dropping off early. After a while, you'll be able to show the pattern. And THEN, if it makes a difference, that's when I would go back to modify CS.

I just think you have a much better chance of getting a favorable judgement on the parenting time, and that the difference in the CS wouldn't be worth the battle of trying to get a court to agree to one day a month parenting time.

Again, totally JMHO, it's the way I would do it, but that doesn't mean it's the right way. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

-AmI.

Okay, i read up on it a littel more and I really see what you are saying...

Frog, you know I going in to open a can of [email]whop@ss[/email], huh? I am not allowing him anymore time that the judge sees fit based on his past and present performance...

I got this! POWS can kiss my lily............ <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

At least I can say that this is typical POWS behavior...says one thing and does another...lip service!

Ami,

I am not disagreeing with you.


That is actually one of the criteria. You dont' want to seem like the parent not facilitating the relationship.

My point is if he is only willing and able to see the kids one night everyother weekend that is what he should get.

My point is more that he needs to step up and be a father.

If it is his idea to have the kids everyother weekend and then drop them off at a neighbors how is that custody?

That needs to be brought up. That doesn't count.

First refusal is great then if she end up with them 90% of the time the custody needs to be reviewed.

I am saying don't give an inch right now because if you do he will try to take a yard.

It is important for the judge and courts to know what is happening RIGHT NOW.

He gets them or doesn't then when he does he might leave them with a neighbor.

I think everyone would agree that isn't in the best interest of the child.

Heck they could even arrange that in a month where his visitation falls below x amount he has to pay x amount more.

In other words 30% and if it falls below 25% then he gives her a few more dollars.

I'm going for status quo! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

And not worried in the least...CS is neither here nor there...I plan to live off my income and have CS as bonus...saving...tell hard to build that up...

But the more the better! heck, college fund for the kids...something!

Good Morning! I hope that everyone is doing well in my absence! LMAO...It's been a great two days.I've been really busy with work and appts.

F got his tooth removed yesterday, didn't need a spacer b/c the adult tooth is right there! He hada little pain once the numbing med wore off, knocked that out with some pain meds and he's fine!

L's five today! My baby is 5! boy, they grow so fast...b-day party tomorrow...and he'll be starting school in the next 6 weeks or so! WOW!

Well, i called my attorney yesterday, the previous judge hadn't signed the paperwork to release himself from the case...so that should have been completed yesterday and we should be hearing about a new date either today or Monday from what I understand...

With that said, I said that I would like to apply a little pressure on POWS...I called the company with the truck note and he owes for May and now June payment...I know he's behind on everything, so I said that we may be able to use this to our advantage...

I asked that they explain what all he will be responsible for rental reimbursement, alimony, compensations for me paying community property debt, child support, and in addition to that if he doesn't reconsider tha offer that was proposed to him and decides to go to court after all, that we will be adding to that my attorney fees, should the judge hand over the same ruling, and anything else that we can get...

Should he accept the offer I will settle for a "small" reduction in child support :::whispering::: So thatI can claim the tax deductions...I haven't found out what that number will be...

I don't expect for him to accept the offer at all...I just explained that I didn't think that POWS understood what he was up against...either that or he just doesn't care...

Wed. I also met with a local organization who has bunched all the local programs in the area into one place...I filled out all of the paperwork and am waiting to hear back from them...

So, that is where I am right now! Doing well, and moving along! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oh, I failed to mention that F informed my that HN1 and her H may be looking are looking for another house...not sure how true that is or when that will happen but if that is the case and I move back into the house, life will be much easier!

Okay, I have to mention that I have not given many parties...i think two b-day parties for the boys...usually they are with their GPs for the summer...

So, my lunch hour was interesting...bank, store for party stuff: chips, cool pops, fruit roll ups, cookie cakes, hotdogs, hamburgers, and buns...gas in my car and back to work...

So, I'm hoping that this thing goes well tomorrow...I mean what more could kids want...bounce house, something to eat and something to drink, plus cookie cake! Of course, presents for the boys!

Sound okay? I'm nervous TBH!

Rin,

You will do great... sounds like you have all the bases covered.

Have fun and try to relax tomorrow at the party.

Still

It's in the bag, Rin. Everything under control.

Heck if I can host a party you can too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

sTILL- tHANK YOU SO MUCH!

e- nOW, I KNOW THAT I HAVE IT COVERED! lmao <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Sorry about the caps...working!

Rin, sometimes simplicity is the best thing. Bounce house--check----food--check--cake--check--gifts--check, then sit back and watch them have fun.

I think you've done quite well, girl. No worries.

Well, thanks, I guess there's no need to stop at the store and get benedryl?

bounce house+kids+food= early bed? (good for the Goddess!!!!)


<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

POWS kills me...Truck note 40 days past due today, in repossession mode...

I called him and asked what was late? He wanted to know why? And then finally told me that the house was being paid today (was due on first) and the truck...I said did you know that the truck is in repo mode as of today...

He said he was taking care of that and the house today...I asked one note or two...

He said all of it! (in a very quiet tone) and asked if the company called me...I said yes, but I actually called the company...

I can't do anything about it today...paid my bills and stuff but really soon, I'm going to make sure that this doesn't happen again...by the end of July, I'll be paying the house note! And all will be fine!

WS! What else can I say!

:::aGHHHHHH:::

It bothers me butnot that bad!

Rin,

Sugar + Kids + activities = fun

Every single time. NO worries.

TAke some deep breath's and remember every thing that POWS isn't doing or is doing is actually helping you.

Just keep remembering.

I hate to tell you this but you are really lucky. Most people in the POWS sitch are on their best behaviour.

So it becomes he said she said type of thing. He is actually not only giving you the ammo he is loading the gun so his fingerprints are on the shell casings.

So every time you see this just look up and say thank you for giving me a POWS that is so dumb he doesn't even try to be on his best behaviour till this is over.
LOL

You lucky dog.

Hey Frog,

That's why I'm not to concerned about him screwing up right now, I really could careless about what he does...my credit report DOES bother me...

By the end of July I'll be paying his stuff to, only because it helps me in the long run...

Like my friend, the para said...I have to keep my yard clean and if he keeps dropping leaves, all I need to do is keep cleaning them up...

With that in mind, I'm cool! I'm glad that there's no games with POWS...I'm am very blessed in that aspect like you mentioned! LMAO

About this party, I'm so happy that everyone approves...I'm good to go! I'm happy about the whole thing! I'm happy that I have the chance to give the kids this...that I'm not in POWS shoes worried about money...my kids...the lose of my wife...losing my truck...bike...house...

I'm just very grateful I'm not him, and I feel sorry for him that he allowed himself to screw up his life like this as a result of his horrible choices! I know I wouldn't feel this way if it were not for watching other WS's self destruct!

::::shaking head from side to side::::

My world's bright and shiny and that's what matters!

Thanks again Frog...I always appreciate your supprt and insight! hope you and the fam have a great weekend! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Frog = Forensic scientist, specializing in bullistics