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Sorry about the painting trip - I know you were looking forward to it. At least you will get some time off. Savor it! So glad you are are experiencing brighter days once again. I know that having that new court date set would establish a new goal for you to be Strivn4 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Savor it? LMAO...I may just lose my mind without the kids to play with me! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> A whole week, WHAT? And to think I wanted two weeks to myself, what WAS I THINKIN"... LMAO On a serious note, I'm sure that I'll make it wihtout any blood shed on my part...I can sleep late DURING THE WEEK, WOW! Well, I won't have to get up AS early... Yep, LMAO, I'm Strivn4 a new date alright, I think I'm going to call tomorrow to see about it, I doubt it with the para being on vacation, but you know the squeeky wheel gets the grease! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Doesn't hurt to ask anyway!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Rin-
Isn't it funny, when you have the kids all of the time, you cannot wait to get a break. It is fun for maybe a DAY, and then I miss them! I want to be with them, take them places... Sure, I get adult time, but once every week or so, for a few hours, is great for me.
My WH is PA too.... I just never was able to 'move my buttons' well. I did not WANT to have to analyze the 'hidden meaning" of why he did this or that... It made me nuts! I almost NEVER would catch him trying to annoy me, control me, until it was too late, and I would be like DUH!!!!
POWS'. They are annoying!
Try to have fun with your time off, get that long sought after pedicure!!!! Read a book leisurely, or heck, even a magazine! PAINT!!! Have fun!!! I hope you do!!!!
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HAHA...I felt the same way...I didn't want to have to "figure" things out too... A large part of why I perfer NOT to talk to him now...NC, no worries about being dragged in... Funny you mention read a book leisurely...I've read for over a year for info purposes and I've been told that I need to read something to just read...just a story but outside of kids' books, I "can't" find anything that I want to read.... Perhaps with the kids gone next week I can go walk through the used bookstore here and find something...I use to love to read Patricia Cormwell/ Dean Knooz but I haven't been able to find something that I want to read for pleasure... I will have the time to go back to my Aunt's and finish the painting that I started a two weeks ago... I would like to get out and have some adult fun but I'm not much on hitting the bars but would like to find a place to hang out and make new friends... LMAO...you know ones I can have intelligent conversations with and not just "meaningless ones" (A POWS thing!) LMAO PA behavior sucks big ba))s!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Well, I guess I'm going to try to go back to sleep, Oh, I just LOVE the way those sheets feel...LMAO...you can bet I'll be enjoying those SOOOO SOOOO MUCH in the weeks to come! Those ARE GREAT self-care! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Well, as far as the swap on the weekend, I just wrote a note saying to tell FIL to call me to set up a pick up time to get the kids back...
That was on the note along with med directions, so I'm hoping that it will fly and POWS won't question it or something...The note should be going along with the meds fro L, so FIL should see it and call...
At least that's what I'm hoping, I know POWS is taking the kids all the way up there...it's like five hours...
Oh, today's also a day to celebrate...4 months since POWS has been served and I'm doing just fine! Hurray!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Hello, I had a wonderfully busy weekend, giving back...I believe that what you give back is what you get... I voluntaried my time a large part of Sat. and didn't get home until 1am, got a few hours of sleep and was right back up there this morning to help again... I met a ton of great people, learned a lesson or two, small ones, was greeting with graditude, love, and acceptance...what more cold a gal want...LMAO I TMed POWS today about picking up the kids next weekend, he's refusing to swap weekend, and being unreasonable...no skin off my back, so I will go to that painting class next weekend...I offered a few solutions but he is not willing to compromise...that's fine...it's a matter of HOw important is it and frankly it's not that important at this time... Another thing, is fight to lose, surrender to win...If I fight with him then I lose my senerity and peace of mine, hence, if I throw my hands in the air, and say okay, he thinks that he has won...(b/c it is a matter of winning to him), and I get to keep my emotions in order... It was really great, he's blaming me for the "pickle" we're in...I just said thanks for blaming me and have a good day...LMAO...he TMed back "anytime" he's so lost, angry, and it's a shame...if he wants to blame me that's fine, I have big shoulder and will not argue with him, that's pointless from my POV.... The benefit to today's TMs, I get to prove that he's not willing to work with me...I asked if he had another solution and he replied that the reason he wanted the kids the weekends that he has them is because of their friends... So, I wrote friends are more important than family...I wanted to say once again but am learning to not speak... Frog, I think from what you were saying the other day that I hope that I got the message...and used what you were trying to say wisely... I can say that I'm happy with the communications of today...I moved my buttons, and didn't allow him to piss me off b/c I felt that was his goal... I can see today that I've done a complete turn around...not with POWS but with my life...my POV, my beliefs, my thinking, my happiness...happiness DID NOT exist in my life for the longest time and today I'm excited about life... Granted I have no clue what tomorrow brings but that's to be dealt with tomorrow... The message I got from this weekend that I walked away with was to have patience and persistance...I actually met another lawyer and we spoke for some time, not at great lenght, but I heard what I needed to hear and it was only affirmation... It's funny, I can remember a time, a long time in my life, when I hoped that I was in a horrible accident and my life was taken...today, I'm excited and happy...I didn't think that was possible, but here I stand...having walked throught the valley and having the opportunity to look back and think it's not AS DEEP AS I thought it was, when I was in it! I am grateful to all of you here, lurkers and posters! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Thank you!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Hey there, Rin!
Just wanted to say howdy, and it's good to HEAR you smile. Keep on truckin'!
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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She's a bad Mother Trucker.
Hey Rin,
just chekin in real quick. Got a lot of thread catching up to do. need to get some sleep first. I'll try to post about my trip soon. Got some pics to send you too.
Looks like you're strong right now. Let's keep it that way.
Goodnight.
BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
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Hi SL, BC...good morning to you both...
Thanks for stopping in...Thank you both for the support and I will do my best...
LMAO...BC, I got two braclets this weekend...one says to "be strong" and the other "pray"...both to remain me of what "I" need to do for me...
I was laughing last night saying that I should have gotten another one that said "patience" on it to remain me that's the most important thing right now...
SL, It's good to be smiling, even on a 90% chance of rain day...LMAO...it's been raining most of the weekend and is going to continue throughout the day!
I feel pretty strong right now, I think in the last week I have moved more forward acceptance, and know what I need to do right now...
I'm doing some inventory stuff on me right now, learning some new things about myself...JMHO, but I'm pretty darn interesting...LMAO
Anyway, hope you all have a wonderful day and BC I SOOO look forward to hearing about your trip and the pics...
Rin
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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I have GOT to get me one of them PATIENCE braclets, too! I should probably get a collection, like a T-shirt, some jeans, some tennis shoes, socks, etc. All saying PATIENCE! Or SERENITY NOW!
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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LMAO...Thanks LG, I appreciate you stopping by...thank you for your time this morning and chceking in on me! SL, LMAO...OKay, I'll have to send you on a mission to Hobby Lobby or someplace like that! LMAO It's a craft that you and DS can do! Some quality time stuff while DH is out playin with his engines! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> elastic, beads of your choice, and letter beads! Presto! Patience! LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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I used to make jewelry, mostly for friends, when I was in college. I had a huge collection of beads and such; don't know where that stuff got to. I also used to make candles;maybe I should make a serenity candle.
Me-BS-38
Married 1997; son, 8yo
Divorced April 2009
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There you go that's a great idea! Funny, I have a collections of that stuff at home too! Candles, beads, paints, chalk, pastels, you name it...when I had some free time...LMAO...
You know how that GOES...LMAO
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Rin,
I am so proud of your outlook and how you handled the communication with POWS!
Great job!!
You seem to be finding yourself & your strength again.
I am so happy for you!
BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Speaking of patience. My lil sis is in the hospital recovering from a mild stroke. She is doing MUCH better and itching to go home. The nurse said, "Now just be patient honey." To which my sis replied, "How much more 'patient' can I be?!?!?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Anyways, I love reading your thread Rin because you're so upbeat. That mountain you faced before is looking more and more like a molehill. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Thank you guys SOOOO much! I am feeling really good. I'm including a copy of the TMs just to see what you guys think...
I guess validation that I did a good, if my POV is "off"...a 2X4...LMAO..IF needed, whatever...
Text message conversation on July 15, 2007
Rin: We’re cool about Friday’s pick up?
STBX: What
Rin: me picking up the kids in Lafayette Friday From MIL and FIL
STBX: Thought I goin to have them 2 weekends caused we swap so u do what u needed this weekend
Rin: I really would prefer not 2 swap every time I want to go visit dad and SM, that was the reason 4 the swap, plus I had a commitment this weekend.
STBX: Well, I’m not getting shorted on my time with my kids
Rin: I don’t understand how u r getting shorted in the long run
STBX: Do the math u’ve had em the last 2 weekends
Rin: ok, do you want them the next 2 weekends?
STBX: I want this weekend n next weekend I am with them now
Rin: So, u don’t want them 4 a 3rd weekend?
STBX: No, next weekend will be fine
Rin: So, I’m going 2 have 2 swap again when I need 2 go 2 my dad’s?
Rin: Do u have a better plan? R do u not even want 2 consider it?
STBX: The reason I have the boys on the weekend I do is so they can be with there friends that same time
Rin: Friends r more important than family, thank you 4 being unreasonable on this issue.
STBX: Whatever, always got b ur way that we are in the pickle we are
Rin: Thank you 4 blaming me. Have a good day!
STBX: Anytime
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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Someday he'll need a compromise from you Rin, and you'll remember just how accomodating he was.
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Yes, one day he will need something and I'm sure that he mistakes my kindness for weakness!
Not to near in the future, I will have plans when asked...
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
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RIn:
It was his weekend, and you made plans and wanted to change it.
????
What's up with that?
I know POWS is alot of things, but am I missing something here?
LG
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