I love to hear how you are learning to let go of the need for perfection and just ENJOY! I struggle a bit with that, so I know where you are coming from.

Excellent attitude on the car payment, too! CONGRATS by the way,, what a great feeling that will be and what an accomplishment!

Have a great day!

Rin,

The most important thing to remember is that you enjoy it.

You know I have seen people that enjoy different things, Like golf.

I used to play but to be honest I never enjoyed it as much as I probably should have. Ther reason being is I am highly competitive and I am my own biggest critic.

But Over the years I played with people and they really enjoyed the game. THEY STUNK. I COULD NEVER IMAGINE THE CONCEPT OF THAT.

Now when I play, every once in a while I just enjoy it because I don't play enough to be good, so I have no expecations and I am not critical.

So the point is if you enjoy it, then it doesn't matter if you are good or not.

Just enjoy. Heck people thought Picasso sucked so what do we know.

LMAO...Hi Bugs...thanks for the pat on the back...I called the loan company to make the payment and learned that since I'm not the primary, that they will not mail ME the title...that they would have to mail the title to POWS...UGH!

So, since I know that the court date will be at the end of Aug. I'm going to make the final payment on time, instead of early...with any hope the kids and I will be in the house when the title arrives...or I would have to go to the house everyday and check to see if it's in the box!

I'm open for idea...I figured I'll wait until the final day to pay the note, do it by check that way it will take longer, b/c if you do it by check, they wait 10 extra days for the check to clear...that would be like the 27th...then, there's mail time in there...so...maybe we'll be home...

So, I'll just wait on the car payoff...oh, well...good thing there's no title on the other loan I'll be paying off soon...

Frog, I hear you and thanks for the sharing that...

Rin:

Goddess!


What was the address on that title? Is it going to the old address where POWS in living?

Have a male friend call and change the address to you new one.

Maybe illegal, but it's your title.

However, No matter what, ask your attorney to require POWS to sign over the title so that you can transfer the car at any time after the D is final.

That way, even if it does get mailed to him, he still needs to produce it to your attorney, with his signature on it.

Frog:

Play more golf, you will GET better...

LG

Rin,

Sorry going to TJ here fore a minute.

LG I did play pretty regularly and I did GET better but looking back if I wouldn't have been so critical it would have been more fun and enjoyable.

I wish I would have had a different view back then.

I golfed a while ago didn't play how I used to but I had more fun then before becuase I wasn't so critical when I made a mistake.

Rin just check with your Lawyer before you do any of this stuff.

Your assets may still be his assets so you spending the CS or anything else might work to benifit him

I'm not sure what you mean or where you are coming from on that one!

There's no property division right now...everything remain in join ownership...

Ok that is what I am talking about.

You are taking the CS he give you. You are paying of your car early. So wouldn't you be better off not paying it off?

Keeping the CS in savings and waiting for the property/debt divison then using your saving to pay down what is yours when all is said and done?

You may be paying down stuff with the money that benefits him.

Not just his motorcycle and his car.

There's no way I could have changed things about the car, or this loan...yea, it will probably hurt me, but they are ending now...

Plus, there's a benefit to the procress right now...with the car and loan paid off, I'll be about to afford the house note and everything I've been paying right now w/o CS...

LMAO...you know since I can't depend on it...

But now that you've brought that to my attention I had another idea in mind, but I may not do that...of course, anything that I pay that he doesn't, he will have to pay me half on if...but I think that I'm going to now rush some things...

Right!!!!!

If you have the money bank it.(in your mattress) if you have too.

Then the minute the papers are final, go under your mattress and pay down what ONLY YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR.

I am not saying hide your assets but I wouldn't make them completely visable either wink, wink.

The next time that I sit down with my lawyer I'm going to have to ask about the community property and debt...

I've brought up the topic before however, since we really are not to that point yet, i haven't really gotten any information on it...

I have been as you all know VERY ready to move on to the next part of this drama...

MOF, moving back into the house really seems like a fantasy at this point...something that will not happen...I mean I can't even picture it in my mind...what do you think that is?

Anyway, perhap it is in our best interest that I just pay the minimums right now...the thing is that POWS has the larger bills, and I just have more...I guess I need to sit down and compare what he has verses what I have...

the last thing I want to do is have to pay HIM back b/c I didn't pay enough of my share!

BC, you have any info on this, I know you've been busy, got a minute...Sadmo, what about you? I remember you had a weird sitch with your car and you being the more responsible one!

Well, let me get some work done before I get out of here...i have to go buy an apron after work...BOY TALK ABOUT GODDESS WEAR THERE...LMAO...

Well, i'm sure that IT could be Goddess wear depending on HOW you wore it! RIght? LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

HI, finally got internet connection again...

I got a call at 5:30 this afternoon...POWS saying that he just dropped the boys off at my Aunt's...he was suppose to drop them off at 7pm...

I was taking a nap, and had a meeting to go to at 6...so I put my shoes on and went pick them up...

As soon as F was in the car, he said "OH, and mom, POWS did sell your motorcycle!" Later he informaed me that POWS said that it wasn't mine...

NOw, the bike is still in just POWS name, but is community property, and I have the title...last time I checked a dup. title had not been applied for...so I'll check again tomorrow and hand over the info to my lawyer...

I know that money has exchanged hands under the table...this is with Horrible neightnor2 and her H...

I've thought about emailing her tomorrow and simply saying "Legally POWS can not sell the yamaha to you, I would hate to see you and B lose your money!"

Just an idea...I have been trying to get it out of my head but am having a really hard time...I went to bed but I feel like I didn't sleep...thoughts of what to do about this sitch running through my head the whole time...so I thought if I wrote it down and it might help...

I have no proof outside of what F said and the fact that it's at HN2's house...

Am trying hard to get my peace of mind back...to stop thinking about this...just not working tonight! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

right here with ya, but I'm off to bed. My excitement starts (or maybe ends) tomorrow.

I know how it is to have things churning in your head and not be able to sleep.

I will say this - trust your gut.

Let's see-you are in a community property state and you have the title-which you will turn over to your lawyer.

I wouldn't email HN2. Right now they have a great "story". You know, the motorcycle is just being kept at their house (yeah-right-whatever).

Let your lawyer handle it. Lawyers live for this stuff. If POWS did sell it to the neighbors under the table, he's going to have some trouble when all things are brought to the table by the lawyers.

You still have the title. HN2 doesn't "own" anything without that title. Without a bill of sale ( and there usually isn't with under the table transactions) the title can't be transferred. So, either POWS forks over the $ (and you get a new bike) or he has to get HN2 to hand the bike over-and then deal with the fall out from them.

In the meantime, Rin is sitting back, oblivious to all the ruckus because her lawyer did what lawyers do-and did it according to state law. He got the community property settled.

I think your lawyer might actually enjoy this bit of news. Get some sleep. It could be fun to watch what happens next, so you will want to be well rested. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

THanks E! I appreciate your support!

Johnstwin- THank you very much, I woke in the middle of the night several times, but after reading your post I stopped thinking about the istch and had one of my favorite country songs in my head...

Believe by Brooks and Dunn...the chorus was the only thing in my head...oh, I prayed so much last night...said that I couldn't do this alone, and asked for help...then I would hear that committee in my head again...back and forth about what I "could" do...

Thing is I have no power over or control over the whole sitch and it kills me...

Wel, I have to cut it short, I have to go finish getting dressed...kids ARE finally out of the bathroom... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Hello RIN!

I was advised by my lawyer to NOT pay off the car. Because it would then be considered an asset completely, and if we split things 50/50, it would be a huge asset since it is a newer car. He actually advised me to (as frog said) "wink wink" not do anything illegal, but ahem, make sure all of my ducks were in a row, and maybe even some might get 'hidden'.

You basically are screwed if you ARE the responsible one.

As for the title to the motorcycle, I would tell the A about that, and then POWS may have to give you half of the VALUE of the bike. Not what he supposedly sold it for. I have a friend who got half of the value of a car during her D, because her EXH was a jerk, and sold a bunch of their things. It bit him in the [email]a@@[/email] big time, because he ended up having to give her MORE than he probably sold the things for!

But, on the other side of things... if you use all of the CS, the courts sometimes where I live can get you more money for a set amount of time for 'maintenance'.

SO, I would have someone 'hold' some money for you, NOT pay off the car, tell the A about the motorcycle sitch, and see if you can get the CS taken directly out of his checks, and sent to you from the courts. My A told me that I should do that, even though my STBX pays on time every month. But I would get his checks garnished if I were you. Then you will get the money when you are supposed to get it.

So how did the painting go??? Get some more GODDESS wear, it will make you feel great!!!

Oh, The painting went well...I have been trying to figure out how I can post a picture of it for you guys to see...

I can email it to anyone who's interested in seeing it...my email address is in my profile...

There's nothing I can do about paying off the car...I have @ $150 left to pay on it...I'm just not going to pay it early, I'm going to wait for the normal payment schedule to come around...same thing with that other loan...I have a payment this week and one more next month and it's done...

That loans unsecure...so it will not really help with anything except clearing off some debt...but I will start making just the miminum payment on everything now...

We're still in the first part of the D...CS, custody, use of the house, use of vehicles, tax deductions...I'm still waiting on that court date...I'm hoping once that is out of the way we can put a rush on the community property part...

I mean here we are 4 1/2 months into this D and we are nowhere b/c of POWS...and we still have 8 1/2 months to go...the law was just changed Jan 1 to 365 days with minor children...

So, when we do go to court I have informed my lawyer to request that CS be garnished from his paychecks...I'm sure that he will love that!

I have to say that I did really well when talking to POws yesterday...I said that I thought he wasn't suppose to drop them off until 7pm...

he said that they had just got back into town, and he was tired, didn't see any point in bring them to the house and then him waking up to bring them back to my Aunt's...

I just said okay and bye...Hurray, I learned to keep my mouth shut...I had to pat myself on the back for that one!

As far as the Goddess wear, I have a friend who works at a retail store and the first week in Aug. they are doing inventory, the day after they are finished they are having a huge sale...I'll BE THERE! name brand cheap...got to love that!

with regard to this whole sitch, I'm trying to do the best that I can...it gets really frustrating sometimes like right now...but I know that in the end as long as I keep doing my part and that's cleaning up HIS messes that I'll be fine...that was the advice I was legally given...

...To keep my backyard clean when POWS keeps dropping leaves in it!

So, I thank you for the support right now...I really need it...I have a few calls to make...one about this title and the other to my lawyer! let's see if I can get somewhere today! Mayne a court date!

Well, I called my friend at the DMV and POWS still hasn't applied for a Duplicate title...so the sell IS under the table...

I'm going to wait until this afternoon, unless they call me to call my Lawyer...

POWS IS so screwing himself, thinking that he's screwing me...and you can bet that he is seeling it for less than the fair market value, so he's screwing himself too! Oh, well, live and learn!

Another thing, if he was smarter, he wouldn't have sold it to the HN2's H...becasue it's not like the bike can "get lost"...

I'm not thinking too highly of his intelligence...

Just talked to my paralegal and she said that we should have a court date by the end of the day...

I also questioned where or not I could get sued should something happen to HN2's H while riding the bike and I should be free and clear of that b/c it's not in my possession...and b/c the title and insurance in only in POWS' name...

PRayers are needed for an early court date guys...PLease, Please, Please...pray that it's sooner rather than later!

Hi Rin-

Your STBXH's actions makes me almost giggle at his stupidity. It's hard to misplace a motorcycle.....

Your lawyer will have a field day with this one.

Have a great day!

You know I always thought he was smarter than what he's showing me...guess that was part of the illusion too! LMAO...

I remember a few years ago, I would look at him and think "He is so stupid, how did I end up with him?"

LMAO...well, now I know...I picked him!

:::shrugging:::