Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 7 of 23 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 22 23
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
Well, I'm heading to the gym and then to get DS. Going to Houma from there. I'll probably be gone till next week. No internet at mom's. Might have some at my brother's.

So everybody have a great holiday weekend!!

Later


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
NOW< I KNOW WHO'S DRIVING THE BUS!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
[email]D@mn[/email] that was a long weekend!!

Only b/c I spent the whole time in Houma. 3 days from home and you feel like you've been gone a month. Rin must not even remember what her house looks like.

Speakin of Rin. Got her drunk Fri night. Took a whole beer and a half. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> We sat and listened to an ole swamp pop band play everything under the sun, including "Doing the Butt!!" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />, that was just weird. The band was actually very good though. So we had a good time, mostly talked about all of you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Sat - spent the day at brothers drinking uhh..lemonade <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />, swimming, BBQing, smoking cigars, and after the kids went to bed drank a little more uhh..lemonade. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Sun - early Mass believe it or not, breakfast, then spent the rest of the day riding bikes and the 4 wheeler with DS, found a 3 foot alligator in the ditch, and finshed the day at the legendary Big Al's in Houma eating boiled crawfish and shrimp.

Oh yeah, funny story, DS [email]cr@ps[/email] his pants as soon as we get to Big Al's. So I clean him up and just let him go commando since his drawers are you know. So right before we leave he [email]cr@ps[/email] his pants again, only this time no drawers to catch it. So guess what I found on the floor of the friggin restaurant!! That's right! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Brother and SIL's still laughing.
Mom couldn't BREATHE b/c there's more to the story. DS's father, I'm not naming any names, did the same thing in WoolCo when he was 3. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" /> What are the odds? Can't wait to tell his first GF this story.

Mon - I some how got suckered into mixing 20 bags of cement at brother's. He's adding on to his patio. Can't buy just a yard. So I spent the day mixing, pouring, and floating cement. 20 bags got about half of it done. He'll have to finish the rest without me. Had to get back you know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

So I'm exhausted. Can't wait to get in bed.

Hope everybody had a good weekend.


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Bc-

What a great weekend!

Alligators
Boiled crawfish
Poopy pants stories
Cajun music
Um -lemonade
Family time
Rin drunk?!

It don't get any better than that my friend!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
Um...I had a buzz...thank you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
Rin,

Buzz is better than drunk!

So, did it take the entire 1 and 1/2 beers or was that a little cajun lie, too?


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
Yes <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />, 1 and 1/2...he was honest <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />...I gave up the other half...I did have to sobber up to drive the kids home safely!

I'm the responsible mom! I had a great time! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
UPDATE

STBX showed up unanounced today after 10 days with out seeing or talking to DS. Walks right in the house and acts like she just saw him yesterday. No I missed you, I'm sorry I've been gone so long, I'm sorry I didn't check up on you, NOTHING.

Then she asks me if she can do laundry. I said NO.
She looked shocked.

Then she asked if she could have DS tomorrow. I told her should could take him if she wanted and I would pick him up Sat. So I went out to the car to tell DS bye and that I loved him and would miss him. Then I went to STBX and asked for the house key and garage door opener. Again, shocked. She said "I don't come around if that's what you're worried about." I said nope. I'm through with you and it's time for me to move on and get over you. I said if you're not going to be my wife then I really don't care to know you. I'm not going to be your friend. I'll be civil for exchanges and DS matters, but I want to be as far away from you as I can get right now. Maybe down the road it won't be such a big deal, but please leave me alone for awhile so I can grieve our M. She actually said she understood. We talked about the cc's and the house. She wants her name off of the mortgage so she can look for a home. I told her she put a TRO on assets so she would have to drop it so I could refinance. I asked her to get a new cc or get my name takin off hers and I would do the same with mine.

So she's gonna check with her A about this and I'll check with mine. I would LOVE to get her off the mortgage.

I'm down, but not b/c of that. I've gotten used to having DS full time and we go back to joint tomorrow. I don't want joint. I want to be a full time dad. I have to get used to being a part time dad again and I hate it. I'm addicted to DS now. Sure, I need a break from time to time, but for a few hours, not days.

So I put another nail in the marital coffin today. A few more and it will be buried for good.

So after I walk and do my crunches there's a beer and a cigar on the menu.

Tonight I'm really gonna enjoy it.


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
Oh, sweetie, you did a fabulous job of taking the higher ground...I'm so sorry that you are without DS tonight...

I get lost without mine on the weekends I don't have them!

YOU deserve that beer and cigar tonight...enjoy! Great self-care!

AND WOW, the way you spoke up and said This is what I need and want from you! Kudos!


(((BC)))

What a harsh reality for the STBX!


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 675
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 675
Beer and Cigars after walking and doing crunches!!?!?<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Do you have any pets that you can spend time with when DS is not there?

Strivn and BC, I know too how hard it is when you do not have your kids, esp. after you have had them all of the time for so long... I was SO LOST when my WH started to take the girls overnight. If it weren't for my dogs (good boys!) I would have spent the whole weekend sleeping when I was not at work.

Instead I walked my dogs a lot, played with them, met people while walking my dogs. It kept me busy until I was ready to even go out with my friends...

You handled yourself well. I cannot believe that she showed up like that! Crazy.

Well, keep on your upswing, you have been doing great.... except for your alligator fetish you seem to have....
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

LOL!

Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,819
Great job, BC, and sorry it's come to this. You're a fantastic dad. Don't forget it.

My cat says 001001110010110

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,828
BC,

Now THAT was a GREAT response in such an unexpected sitch.

You obviously have your wits around you to have been so calm, clear, and firm! You Rock!

What are your plans for tonight? We luv ya man, but you need some face time with some friend outside of cyberspace tonight!


BS (me)
ExWS -Drac
DD 9
DSS 15
D Day 11/06
Divorced 10/01/07

"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
I agree, think it's time for boy's night out!


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
Well, I've got plenty to do around the house this afternoon. Its rained all week and my grass is knee high. I also need to straighten out the garage and DS's room. It's futile when he's around, especially if his bestes buddy's around.

Tonight I might go to a movie. I really hate bar rooms these days so I won't be doing any partying. Definatley another couple a beers and a cigar.

Last night's was AWSOME! I was due.

My neighbors do laugh at me when I'm in shorts, a muscle shirt, sweating from a work out, and drinking a beer with a cigar in my mouth.

Hey, I've got a system, don't knock it.

Interesting morning. Stopped by DC to pay for Jun and pull the court order. STBX shows up with DS. She asked for him so she could SPEND THE DAY with him today. I said, "So you decided to bring him?" She said, you ready, serious as a heart attack, "Well, I've got laundry to do."

I'm not even gonna comment. You know how dogs [censored] their heads side ways when they think you're retarded. That's basically what I did.

No anger, complete bafflement, starting to laugh about it.

So I'm good. Also talked to my mom this morning. My brother from another mother is in a band now. Mid 30's, Master's in business, gotta do something to not be a yuppy. Started up a 70's soft rock cheese band as a joke. Now they have a cult following. So they have a show on the 13th and he is demanding that I be there. So mom's gonna watch DS and I've gotta find a butter fly collar.

It's gonna be CRAZY!!

Check it out

3 dolla bill


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
What time do you have to pick up DS tomorrow?


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
around noon. Godchild's Bday party in Bayou Blue tomorrow at 3.


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, U have some time on your hands...what will u ever do?

Dark...ummm...


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
Another busy weekend.

Godchild's Bday party was a blast. She hammed it up for Parrin (Godfather) and DS swam ALL day. Lots of family, friends, and not so healthy food. After the party me and brother made a fire with the framing wood from his slab, you know, b/c we HAD to. What else are you gonna do with it?

Sun- Visited with BF who just got through a close call with the birth of his second child. Mom almost died during section, baby was 32 weeks, spent a month in NICU, mom almost died again a week later with ecoli in the bloodstream, spent a few days in ICU herself, but now mom and daughter are home healthy and safe. Baby is confined to the house for 8 weeks while her immune system better develops. She's 3 pounds right now, but eating like a horse and growing fast. Beautiful child.

Had to leave early in the afternoon to get DS to STBX. WEll, didn't quite work out. My alternator went out and I got stuck at a gas station. My dad came and gave me a jump and my battery had just enough juice to get me back to my parents house. So I spent the afternoon changing my alternator. Had to call STBX and tell her I couldn't get DS to her. She didn't sweat it. I figured that. So I got home late last night.

STBX has DS today and tomorrow, so I guess it's time to start having a personal life again. Tue's guys night out so I'll be kicking it off with a bang. Will also be working out and walking extra hard to compensate for the garbage I ate this weekend. So at least I'll be busy this week.


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 5,463
I can't believe I have talked to you today...WOW...how rude of me...wait, I did talk to you...ooops, sorry...my head's not screwed on straight... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I'm sorry to hear about the alternate...I read your post yesterday and I'm so sorry that I've been so wrapped up in myself...just waiting on Thurs. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

I am so happy for your friend and baby, glad to see that they are doing well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

So, how did boy's night out go? Well, I've been saying that I needed to head to bed but I just haven't working up the courage to go...like a kid, you know! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Have a great day! Look forward to hearing about your night!


A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.
Thomas Carlyle
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,115
Alright, I gots me coffee, here we go

I had a great time at Guys night out once I finally showed up.

On my way home yesterday STBX calls and wants to come by the house to get some clothes for DS. OK, not a problem.

Once she's there she decides she needs to do a load of DS's clothes while she's there. OK, not a problem, when you're done close the garage door and go out the front. Then it starts.

THIS IS MY HOUSE TOO AND I WANT MY KEYS BACK!!

Ole BC didn't take that too well. When I say steam came out of my ears and a mushroom cloud went off, that would be an understatement.

She did her best to laugh at me and try yo make ME look stupid and it almost worked. I was finally so upset I left, figure it wasn't worth it, then I said I haven't had enough, I want more, I'm gonna tell that B1TCH everything I've bottled up for the last 6 months!

Sooooo, Ole BC turns the truck around, goes back home, and proceeds to chop down every bullchit excuse and rationalization she's spewed the last 6 months. That took about 10min and when she was out of bullchit I spent another 20 or 30 min tearing her a new [censored]. I'll admit, I had her head dropped and lip trembling for a lot of it once I got past her defenses.

By the end of it she wasn't laughing at me and trying to make me look stupid anymore. I didn't give her a piece of my mind, I gave her my whole Fing head. Spit was flying, fingers ALL up in her face, constant eye contact, when she dropped her head I dropped mine, I bent over and squatted if I had to b/c [email]gotd@mit[/email] she was gonna look me in the eye this time. I wanted answers, I wanted her to know how bad she hurt me, I wanted her to know how bad she hurt DS, I wanted her to know how she contiues to F up her life and her happiness was being provided by dipshit, not from within.

I said
[censored] YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME.

[censored] YOU FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO DS.

[censored] YOU FOR ABANDONING YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR HUSBAND, AND YOUR SON.

[censored] YOU FOR BEING A LOUSY MOTHER.

[censored] YOU FOR BEING A HORRIBLE WIFE.

[censored] YOU FOR DOING IT WITHOUT REMORSE.

[censored] YOU AND YOUR SELFISH ENTITLEMENT. YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO A F*CKING THING.

Then I said

NOW I WANT YOU TO BE THE MOTHER DS DESERVES.

I WANT YOU TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE YOU'VE DONE TO HIM

I WANT YOU TO FIX YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM

I WANT A F*CKING APOLOGY, NOT TODAY, BUT SOMEDAY, AND I WANT IT TO BE SINCERE AND GENUINE

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY, YOU CAN CHOOSE TO CHANGE, YOU CAN BE WHO YOU WANT TO BE, WHO I KNOW YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING

YOU ARE SOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS

THIS IS JUST WHAT I WANT, THIS I JUST WHAT I'M ASKING, YOU DO WHAT THE [censored] YOU WANT, BUT THE WORLD WOULD BE A HOLE LOT BETTER PLACE IF YOU WANTED IT TOO.

So that's the short version. I've spent 6 months trying to tell her that gently and with care.

This time I figured it was time to channel my anger where it belonged.

You know what her response was when I was finally done.

I DESERVED THAT!

Jesus Chirst!! There is a GOD!!

Maybe not the MB way, but for me, it's what I needed to do.

Before I finally left I actually said this right in front of her. [email]D@MN[/email] THAT FELT GOOD!

So in case you're wondering, she STILL has no keys.

She called me later in the evening to tell me she locked the house up and to apoligize for all the drama.

and for the first time in 6 months she sounded like she CARED about my feelings. She didn't sound ENTITLED.

She also told me it wasn't good to hold all that in until I exploded.

I said,

Yeah, you're right about that, I'll work on it.

Then we both laughed.

Can you believe it


BS 33 EXWW 35 DS 5
OM1 9/06 - 03/07
OM2 04/07 - present
Divorced May 8, 2008
Page 7 of 23 1 2 5 6 7 8 9 22 23

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
1 members (still seeking), 530 guests, and 70 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
holderroger508, Seraphinang, ScreamArt, BibleBeliever, JhocelinDeschamp
71,917 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Advice pls
by SilverMG - 12/22/24 11:48 PM
Question for those who have done coaching
by Blackhawk - 12/12/24 11:08 PM
Newbie here. Advice appreciated. MLC??
by Dynamiq - 12/06/24 05:02 PM
Separation
by BrainHurts - 11/27/24 08:59 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,619
Posts2,323,474
Members71,917
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5