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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,082
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Member
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,082 |
I agree completely with AGoodGuy.
How do you *know* the other guy is out of the picture? Because she says he is?
She cheated *with* you, on a man who was cheating on his wife. That alone is enough to send up a huge red flag. She doesn't respect marriages, or relationships. She didn't respect OM's marriage, and she didn't even respect her own relationship with him, because she cheated on him, with you.
I know at the time you seemed to think she was cheating ON you with OM - but if he was there first - he's got squatting rights.
So knowing all this - this is not an "incident" or something that "just happened". She was with OM for 2 years and you for one year. This is a PATTERN of behavior.
What makes you so sure that if you two start over, that things will be any different?
I'm asking this because I believe that the woman has some sort of personality or character flaw. Good and decent people don't engage in that sort of behavior long-term. Yes, spouses cheat on each other and that's usually what brings people to this site. But it's somewhat different when married people acknowledge a breakdown in their MARRIAGE and resolve to repair, repent and not repeat.
You aren't married to this woman. As AGoodGuy said - if people knew in advance that their intended spouses were serial cheaters, most people wouldn't marry them in the first place. You have seen with your own eyes that she does this.
IMO you are a bit foolish to think that you are "the one" that she won't cheat on. She will. Sooner or later that old pattern will come up again, and hopefully, for your sake, you aren't married to her by then, and God forbid there's a child or two involved.
You did receive good advice. Blunt advice.
If you had a son, and he was dating a woman who was cheating with a married man, and seeing your son too, what advice would you give him?
JinGA
F/40, DD15 DS13
M 1989
DDay his EA May 1998.
S Aug 2004.
D Dec 05. I filed.
4/07 Post-D Plan A with 180, with hopes of R.
6/23/07 XH said no to R.
8/24/07 Went on a date with someone new, "B".
1/22/08 Still seeing B, life is good! Learning and growing each day.
Ask me about Geocaching!
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,774
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,774 |
just an fyi gbglob:
i everytime i forgave my ex he still CHEATED ON ME AGAIN.
I AM THE ONE who threw this sorry a** to the curb, he would have stayed here living the best of both worlds forever.
i give you advice from my personal experience.
the girl is a loser and she will do over and over again to you because YOU ALLOW IT.
cut your losses and go out with the other 2 women you were having a nice time with.
mark my words, this girl is not going to change for you.
mlhb
God first, family second, and all else will fall into place.
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