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you have a funny way of "not arguing"
so I won't play
Last edited by Pepperband; 05/22/07 08:31 PM.
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you have a funny way of "not arguing"
so I won't play Ok, fair enough...I have taken my nightly dose of Xanax and Lithium and am "not arguing". YOu give it as good as anyone here, but I still would like an explanation for your comment and view above. Would you give your patients the same advice as above? Lem
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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Go ahead, lets here your smart remark now and get all of the other stepfords to fill your ego ...but you suprised me by your ignorance above. This isn't a joke. no thanks
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I can't believe he said that. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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A few post D-Day pre-STD screening *boinks* are not going to make a big difference in the long run Well, I will ask in a different way... Do you realize that the logic that you stated above is not really accurate? That EVERY time you sleep with a possibly infected person that you are putting yourself at risk...even if you got lucky up until that time. The transmission rates for STDS is not 100%... your WS could have something and not pass it on to you during SF... and then one day... perhaps in those few boinks mentioned above it is passed on. In addition... who is to say that the HO he was sleeping with is being "faithful" to her affair partner...what if she just recently contracted something. All in all, the advice seems a bit off as does all the thought on here about "well, we were sleeping together before I found out about the affair... so why not now.."
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<hands Sour Dude a bran muffin> Hi Lemmers! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
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mmedc- That's also what I was thinking. Well put.
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It's kind of like that Steve Irwin guy. He got up close and personal with dangerous wild animals for years, and nothing ever happened......until the last time he did it.
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I am an equal opportunity offender on this board... I have clashed with everyone at one time or another... Actually not true. You have never clashed with me and now I am quite offended by that. Guess I'm not "worthy". Well I'm ready big boy. Just name the time and thread. I'll be there. Unless its a "religious" thread. That market has been cornered. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
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I'm not considered a "pro"(sorry, Pep)! based on the number of my posts, but I sure have done a lot of reading here. I don't always agree and many times I quietly fume and many times I stand up and cheer. However, nothing shocks me more than what I have continuously read by several posters in the past year or so concerning SF during the KNOWN affair. I have even read how some BSs said that it would have been worth it even if they had been unlucky enough to catch some nasty STD. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Am I missing something here?
BS 46 (me)
WH 51
M-20yrs
DS19, DS16, DS14
D-Day - April '02
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Think about what being a "pro" with regard to infidelity REALLY implies. Who would want that?
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tatertot - I think it is like someone here said - the affair is such a shock that many BS's are not thinking right. They latch on to anything to get their spouse back.
I used to advise folks to check out the top EN's, and meet them. Until I read one member's story, where is WW died from AIDS. That woke me up. I even went back and read what I'd posted to him. I was afraid that I'd suggested SF.
Luckily he tested negative twice, and seems to be doing fine.
Some posters here ARE so tied to their spouse that they make the choice to risk their life. And I guess we may wonder about THAT, but in the end, it is their right.
The problem I have is not mentioning the risk. But I think we are doing better at that now. We've talked this issue to death, and no one has really changed their position.
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Yes, I know how shocking the discovery of an affair can be. I think most of us reacted by doing things we never thought we would.
But this SF thing? This is years later, and these posters are still defending their actions. I don't think it is healthy for new posters looking for help in saving their marriages. Not everyone is lucky enough to come out "clean".
BS 46 (me)
WH 51
M-20yrs
DS19, DS16, DS14
D-Day - April '02
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[threadjack]
Believer, are in you touch with ron53 ? If so could you tell him I think of him often and hope he is thriving, please.OK ?
Thanks
[/threadjack]
MB Alumni
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I, like many others did make the mistake in having sex with my husband and 5 years later, cost me a hysterectomy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" /> I had the std tests once I found out, but unfortunately for me, the std was not discovered at that time or in subsequent testing until it was too late.
I advise any new BS NOT to have sexual contact in any form with their spouse until the testing has been done on both parties, and not just once either. Even with testing, they need to understand that some of the common std's are not picked up right away, and years later can cause ramifications that you are not expecting. So, Sandi, you are suggesting the BS wait 5 years for STD test results before resuming intercourse with the WS? Like most people who did not know their spouse was adulterous, I had regular intercourse with my WH during his affair. STD testing was not done until ~after~ D-Day ...Which is testing after the fact, most of the time. It seems likely that Miss cervix has already been introduced to Mr HPV. A few post D-Day pre-STD screening *boinks* are not going to make a big difference in the long run. ESPECIALLY with STDs not easily detectable. PLUS ... I was NOT a virgin when I married .... I may have been exposed pre-marriage !!!!!!!! (not speaking of your experience in this matter, just my own)And Sandi, you need to know, I will joke/tease you like anyone else ... so get ready ! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> YOU are not off limits for any reason, including and not limited to the number of posts under your belt, your sign on date, your marital status, your sexual orientation, your religion, your being cuter than me. We are a dysfunctional family here Sandi, and like any family, we knock each other's corners .... each getting smoothed down in the process. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> [b]I was telling my story after Sandi told hers. Comparing notes if you will. Sandi's husband did not see OW after discovery. Neither did mine. Poor Sandi did the safe thing, the recommended thing, and still, she had major health consequences. Bad luck. Anywho, this is what happened with me. This is what happened to Sandi. Just sharing my past & comparing to Sandi. Sandi = bad luck Pep = good luck Believer = good luck So much for ego massaging <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> [color:"red"] NO ADVICE OFFERED [/color] .... historical reference only
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Bob - I'm not in touch with him, except that I see him posing here on and off. I do know that his second HIV test came back okay.
Pep - I hope that I am lucky. The medical community is finding more and more diseases that are sexually transmitted. A young married man (28) that I work with has mulitple myeloma, and his specialist asked if he ever had sex with a prostitute. I don't know what the connection is, but it sure scared me.
As you know, this is a sore subject with me. I never participated in risky sex, but my ex made the decision to put my life at risk. And it KILLS me that he claimed "she is not THAT kind of woman" in regards to carrying the HIV virus. Maybe he should go into HIV testing since he apparently can just LOOK at a person and tell. It shows such ignorance.
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MIMI=GOOD LUCK I'm sooo much IN LOVE with my H. I was having such a bad morning and he's been so SWEET to me. TODAY I can't imagine life without HIM...that "SEXY BOY" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Hey Mel, The only off board emails I have received recently were from Mimi, Pepperband and Mortarman. Liar, liar pants on fire!!!! So, when are we doing lunch again????? Brit's Brat shaddup, you silly fake Texan! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> How about Thursday?? Can't on Thursday - boy's last day of school and end of year party.....How about Friday or next week?
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You guys realise, don't you, protection (i.e. condoms) are not 100% proof against any STD?
I have seen a 95% effectiveness number quoted, but even if they were rated 99% sure, that's lets see, in 101 encounters, well that's getting up there. Like, it's now probable that if your partner has something untreated you indeed contracted it sometime during the last 100 rolls in the hay, condom or not.
And this does not include herpes.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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