Still waiting. And, setting boundaries with the friend. Told him that there is no way and he will have to accept this.

I am still not sure why he told me.

Sent an invite to WH for our ball team pub night tomorrow night. I know he will not go, but I figured warmly inviting him to it would let him know he is welcome to come.

My emailing him won't anger him, will it?

Signed off with Love nwtt xoxo (haven't used the l word in a while)

Well, I have received a letter from WH's lawyer.

WH has told lawyer that I am stalking him, and has accused me of driving to his ball games (which is completely untrue) and that I have been attending his work.

I am also advised that I am to no longer email him nor his family.

Also, he has set out that I return some items, including my engagement ring. (which had belonged to his great grandmother)

What do I do?

I guess you will have to stop contacting him. I would keep the engagement ring, though.

Continue making improvements and moving along with your life.

Does your husband have any mental issues? Seems like he is acting kind of extreme. He must feel very guilty.

nwtt

Your WH is following a typical wayward script. He is rewriting things to justify his choices. Having a lawyer send you a letter is a scare tactic. No lawyer can make you do anything. Only a judge can. You should get your own lawyer now to find out what you can do.

In the meantime, document everything. Print up the emails you've sent, phone logs that show you aren't calling his family/him all the time, account for where you were when he was at ball games and at work etc.

That's what I would do. I'm sure others who have had similar situations with their WS's will be able to give you more advice.

Hang in there!

Thank you.

So, once again, I should just ignore this letter? Last time, I ignored his letter and nothing came of it. He just gave up for a couple of months.

As far as mental issues. No. But, why would he say that I am driving around the parking lot? Are you kidding me? I have not once done that... in fact, I am working on the nights he plays.

I have not called anyone in his family and the only email sent was to his brother... which I learned not to do again.

I cannot afford a lawyer at this time. Wait. This letter is beating around the bush. It states that if I do not contact her with respect to where I want the truck returned, he will leave it at my work or home. Then, it says that she expects a response from me with respect to the items he wants returned (ie. ring, china)

So, this is a ploy to get me to return this stuff. He offers me something, I should in turn give what he wants.

Did you ask him to return the truck?

No. Never mentioned it once. Just asked him to pay the insurance to me on it.

Oh, then he is just having a fit. I wouldn't respond to the attorney's letter. I also wouldn't contact your husband.

So, should I just go into a Plan B? Or, wait out his hissy fit?

No Plan B yet. Stay in Plan A, and see what happens. I wouldn't contact him. Do things to keep yourself busy. Has he always been so vengeful? First HE has the affair, then accuses YOU of trying to poison him, then stalking him, and now a letter from his attorney. SHEESH!!!!!!

I don't think so. He really is a sweet guy. Very nice to everyone. Everyone loves him.

This guy is hateful mean and no one likes him.

I just don't get it.

Must be guilt. He has to demonize you to justify his awful behavior. I would just avoid him and go merrily along with my life. The more you are in the picture, the more he can blame you. The affair will fall apart much quicker WITHOUT input from you.

I hope you are right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Even funnier, is my books just came in today. There they were, sitting alongside the letter from the lawyer. *sigh*

Well read them anyone. They are excellent. It is better to read them before you need them so that the stuff sticks and becomes automatic. I'm sure he will show up at the worst possible time.

I have started to read them.

I am feeling very vulnerable right now. I honestly just need someone to hold me and tell me it'll all be okay. I am really starting to long for that.

So, I woke up today feeling somewhat sad. No, hurt.

How far is he willing to go to hurt me? The ring... that is my breaking point. To take away something that means so much to me? Something that I have been wearing everyday for 6 years?

Cruel is the word.

I think he saw my rings when I went to see him. And, this is my punishment. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

The rings are yours to keep. I would not give them up. For one thing, if you gave it to him now, they would end up with the OW. When the affair ends, they would be gone for good. For another thing, he is the one who cheated. I would continue wearing them.

((nowhere))

This person who is being cruel to you isn't your H. He's a WH. WS's are truly aliens and they behave in ways that make no sense at compared to the person we knew them to be.

Listen to believer. Go merrily along in your life and avoid him so that he can't blame you. Let the affair fall apart on its own.

BTW, a letter from a lawyer is not a legal document. It's a letter on a lawyer's letterhead. There is no enforcement behind it. I would just file it away under "Crazy WH antics" and let it be. The rings are yours because he gave them to you. There is no agreement to return them if the M didn't work out.

As far as the other things in the letter-if he does try to prove those things-you have your employer's records to show you aren't driving past his games etc. Just another example of a WS alien brain in full gear.

Thanks Believer and JT.

I think he said these things to justify to his lawyer his putting off proceeding with this two months ago. He told me then that he did not care about any of this stuff (our belongings), and I see his saying he wants none of it... just the stuff his mom gave me as proof of that.

I think reality hit him when I walked in that door. And, when he saw the rings on my finger.

I am just really sad. One because he is hurting me so badly and two because I miss him terribly.

This too shall pass.