So another gift would be a great idea....



Doesn't have to be FRIENDS...just make sure he gets it in his hands...any reliable person that you can count on...



NUMBER ONE RULE: YOU CAN ONLY CONTROL YOURSELF....

BTW..I would hold off on the tickets...you are just being FRIENDLY....not wanting TO DATE....and you don't want him getting them and taking her...

Well, I would only want him to have one. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I will have to find someone I can rely on. I am not sure who I can count on to go into his work and not scream at him.

It almost seems that everyone who has been alienated by him, hates him now. They cannot understand why I would take him back (or want to) Last night I was told by two friends that I need to find someone else. I am getting tired of it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Thanks for the reminder about who I can control Mimi.

Some neutral person probably would be best...a custodian even...someone walking down the street... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />.."Some lady said to make sure that you get this"...OR an acquaintance of yours that he doesn't know....

My fear is doing this will tick him off.

I have been told that I must refrain from following him (which I have not once done), attending his work, or emailing him.

I keep having doubts out of fear. What if I do the wrong thing?

But, then on the flip side, I wonder what if I send him something at the exact right time?

This is so hard. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/teary.gif" alt="" />

Describe for me again..remember I haven't kept up..what ticked him off last time..

Didn't YOU go to his work?

Okay.

I stopped into his work to get money from him for car insurance. I had not seen nor spoken to him in a month. The last time I had spoken to him was when I had given him that gift I had for him. I had emailed him a couple of times after that, and was sent an email quite suddenly telling me "do not contact me again."

I was kind of stunned, so I gave him some space.

When I went in, he seemed okay with me. I had brought him coffee, got my money, and went on my merry way. I got home and called him, asked if he had a pen, and gave him the new home phone number.

Next day (LG's advice) I dropped in again and brought an iced capp. Then, sent lunch the day after that.

I had emailed him about family stuff. The pets being sick, my dad's cousin passed away... stuff like that.

Then, I sent nothing. Was told about my "poisoning attempts" and then, last Friday, I received the letter from the lawyer.

Wanted to add...

Before WH's last email, he called me pretty much every second day. Whether it was to chat, or just talk about what HE wanted.

R talk came up only once, and that was the morning he called me after I had discovered the A. He told me that OW was so in so's friend and that I had the wrong idea about her.

Then, I asked that we try again, and he said things could not be as they were, and I replied, that I agreed, they could be even better.

WH agreed that we would get together and talk about this stuff... but then about a week later I received a letter from WH's attorney. When I asked WH about this letter, he informed me his mom suggested he go and that she paid for it... he would have to pay her back.

I told him to come home and WE could pay her back... all while we figure out our marriage issues.

WH agreed to talk. That day did not come... yet.

What is up with his mom that she would suggest he go see the attorney and cause problems in your marriage?

Are you sure there hava been no accusations of infidelity on your part from him?

He SAYS she suggested he go.

I know she did PAY for him to go (he had no money when he left) but he may have come up with the idea to go himself.

I am sure had there been accusations against me, my BIL would have called me a whole lot worse in his email to me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Basically, I think they bought his unhappy story. My MIL is kinda... what is the word? When he told me it was "over" she told me I had to accept it because he said so. And, even after I exposed to my FIL, it was me that was the horrible person. (which is really odd because when my sister ran into her the other day, MIL had nothing bad to say about me)

My guess is that your WH did see an attorney which his M paid for and the letter was the attorney's idea...

My H saw an attorney who told him to do some MEAN stuff early on...some attorneys are pro-divorce and just out for the money...SEEDY...

What's the OW like? Age? Ever been married?

GRRRRRR, families make me so disgusted. If only they knew that chances are excellent that the two of you will end up together again! I think it is so sad when they support the WS. It really makes it difficult to ever have a good relationship with them again.

I don't know much about her. Age? Same as me I think. Married, probably not.

What I do know about her is that WH met her through a friend he had just re-aquainted himself with this winter. He went to highschool with this guy's brother. Ran into him one night, and WH and he got to talking. He rubbed me the wrong way... and I mentioned it to WH. WH said he's a good friend, and my response was, "Well, if he is such a great friend, why have I never heard of him before?"

Anyway, we started to "hang out" with he and his gf. GF has a reputation around this city, and from facebook, I found out that OW is her friend from highschool.

I have asked everyone I know about her and NO ONE has even heard of her. But, you mention the gf... they all know her.

Oh, and Mimi... I mentioned to WH because he got in a snit over my not responding to attorney's letter that I am refusing for a number of reasons. One, being that his attorney only wants us to have conflict so SHE makes a fortune.

I told him we are adults, and can handle our marriage issues ourselves. He agreed and told me he would let her know we are going to work together ourselves...

Then, there was nothing for nearly two months.

Do you even know her name?

I think it's important to learn as much as you can about her.

KNOW YOUR ENEMIES!!

I think THE ATTORNEY..backed by the OW..financed by his M..put your WH up to this...YUCK...

So using your own intuition, what do you think is THE BEST way for you to proceed NEXT if you took the INDIRECT APPROACH rather than PUSHY and HEADON...

What would be the FIRST STEP in WOOING HIM?

How about CONVERSATION? Do you have his cellphone number? Can you leave him a MESSAGE?

This is MY huge fear Believer. I love my inlaws. So much. It hurt me badly the day she yelled at me.

And, my BIL... he and I after almost 10 years, finally started to feel comfortable around each other. He was always very spoiled and entitled. We just never really hit it off. For my birthday this year, he sent me an email wishing his favourite "sis n law" a happy birthday. So, yeah, it sucks having my "family" feel this way about me.

I posted just before you..hope you didn't miss my message...

It's a BALANCING ACT..

He needs to know that you won't be BOTHERING him BUT you are NOT GIVING UP ON YOUR MARRIAGE....

I know her name. I have tried to learn about her. I have asked around. No one knows her.

His cell phone number? Nope. Don't have it. I can get it from my friend... but I personally don't have it.

How does he want you to reach him..if at all?

Pretty much not at all.

The letter states that I am to contact her (the lawyer) about where I want the truck delivered, and to arrange for the exchange of my ring.

If I do not contact her, the truck will be left at our home or my work.

What's this about THE RING?