Gaslight-proofing 101

*Believe in yourself (ala Orchid)

*Don't assume it's about *you*. When people gaslight you....it's about *them* Their agenda. Their insecurity. Their poor relational skills. Their bad day. Their fear of failure. Their desire to popular or right. Their lack of confidence. Their powerlessness.

*Look deeper.....recognize the motive. Gaslighting is often a manuever to take the heat off of the gaslighter. Do they need to discredit you? Are they embarrassed? Caught red-handed? Hurt? Scared? Little?

*Answer this question: Who has the most to hide or make up for? *hint....it's not you.

*Reverse babble doesn't just work with WS....it works with gaslighters too. Ex: "Even your mother knows you're crazy". RB: "You're probably right, you've driven my mother crazy too."

*Be LESS concerned with pleasing others, being right, being popular....and more concerned with being ethical and true. If you are....gaslighters are powerless and pitiful.

*Gaslighters are confused by good manners. They are terminally rude and abrasive, so poise and calmness undermines their ability to keep being cruel.

*The bigger the bluster of a gaslighter, the more insecure or abusive they are. While everyone may occasionally resort to gaslighting....those who use it regularly....use it because it's the easiest way to deflect accountability. They have to transfer responsibility so they don't have to face their own failure.

*If you're in the presence of a gaslighter....you have the upper hand....but first, you have to know it....and then...you have to take it.

*What if you DIDN'T second guess yourself?

*What if you trusted your own perception?

*What if you turned that magnifying glass right back around on the gaslighter?

*Fear feeds gaslighters.

*Civility undermines gaslighting.

*Laughter is poison to a gaslighter.

*Confidence scares gaslighters.

*Assertiveness kills gaslighters.

*Intelligence destroys gaslighting.

Be smart, confident, fearless, polite, assertive, and by all means....be bored and amused.