Ok.. lets go through this here once and for all:
Context and semantics of "knowing" someone: When you know someone, you know someone like you do your neighbor or Rosa from the bakery. Do you know Rosa at the bakery, Oh yeah sure she's great, always has free samples in the morning. That's the context of knowing that I am using.

Next, when I visited her I had absolutely ZERO intentions of becoming romantically involved, our friendship was as platonic and non-romantically involved as it would be between 2 people of the same sex, non-existent, nein, zilch, nada. She had invited me to visit her, as she lived in another country, and I had never been outside of my own hometown and thought this is gonna be so cool, meet new people, go dancing, listen to music and make friends YAY! That was it PERIOD!

When we met we totally hit it off, no big deal. I met her family, we went out to meet her friends of various ages 20+ yrs, went out to some parties and really had fun. I left with a good impression of her, good person inside, funny, artistic, great all around.

Her family treated me very well, and all was good. After some time, she calls me up and says she is coming down to see me?! I was caught off guard because I lived with my parents, and did not know what on earth to say that a girl was coming over to stay for a while, and I asked her why would she do that since she is working and all that, she had quit her job. I asked my parents, they said under certain conditions i.e. you on couch her in bedroom.

We enjoyed each others company no harm no foul whatsoever, people tend to hang around those they like. For some misery loves company..
My dad asks me, what do you think of her, I say she is a great person, I really like her, then he says what are you waiting for? Why don't you marry her.
I asked her if she wanted to get married, and she said yes, and the rest is history, we were married when she was 18, I proposed to her when she was 18, and I was 25. Both sides of the family approved, all was good.
You don't have to like it, it doesn't need to meet your "expectations". Total romance time 2 months, she was 18 when we were romantically involved i.e. I Love you, we fell in love when she was 18, got married when she was 18 and I was 25 plain and simple 7 year difference. This is done and over, you don't like it thats YOUR PROBLEM. You can make of it whatever your heart desires.
I am saying the truth, and that's that.
The skeptics questions have been answered more than exhaustively. I known her 11 years, she told me after we were married that she was 17 when we met, 17 +11 = 28, she will be 28 this summer, and we were married in the fall.
Done.. I want to save my marriage, care to help?
Thank you to those who have posted valuable advice. it is good to know I am not the only one feeling the confusion and surreal reality of each day that goes by without your loved one.
I would appreciate the slanderous accusations to stop. Its really hard to have to read such harsh words that are not even true, and deal with this and am doing the best I can.
Will be seeing marriage counselor tomorrow letting them know WW has left the house with some items, and is not currently living at home.
Will see what next recommended step is.
Again thank you to those who have contributed, I really do appreciate it.

Noodle:

Let me give you an example:

My son is in a theatre program. The Actors/actresses range in age from 10-16, and the Director, and staff range in age from 18-25.

He has been working with these folks for 4 years, and will continue for several more.

Do I watch for inappropriate contacts/convo's/interactions? You bet.

Can something develop over the next several years?

Yes.

Could it be evil?

Yes.

Could it be something else? Friends and then something else in a few years? Yes.

I will not see evil in the regular interaction between people.

Now, he starts hiding his email? New accounts? Strange people he might begin associating with? Yep, I'm there. Protecting MY Child.

Didn't you see this line in my earlier post:

"If the other party tried to keep it secret, I'm blowing that woman up."

This is confronting the other person. And establishing the boundaries for the other person.

Back to MMBF:

I still do not know the true nature of MMBF's early R with BF. Nor do you.

He states he met her on the internet? Under what circumstances?

Was BF posing as a much older person? Don't know
Was BF part of a hobby group and MMBF met her and had contact that way?

I don't know and I will not speculate further.

When asked to expand on that period of time, he did not. That DOES trouble me.

So lets leave it at MMBF's feet.

LG

Nope...

I'm going to leave it entirely.

I have seen him change his facts several times and now I see he has changed his wifes age in his sig line as well.

Personally I tend to believe the first information.

I believe that he knew his wifes age when he filled out the form.

I believe he knew how many years he had known her.

I believe he knew how many years they had been married.

I am very skeptical of his near incoherant explanations and factual changes.

YMMV

LG & All,
I am glad you clarified your question.. How did I meet my butterfly.

We both use to go to raves(anyone remember those?). This was from a long while ago, and we both dug the music big time. We met as well as my other friends met her and we would always chat and joke on irc (InterNet Relay Chat), she knew how old I was all was in the open, usually this would follow in irc speak as a\s\l Age,Sex,Location.
Don't go to raves anymore, the whole thing is rather dull, that's how we met, that was our interest, it is how we made friends, and would know of where the parties would be globally, know who was dj'ing at them, what kind of music was going to be spun i.e. Techno, Deep House, Acid Jazz etc.. That's the whole kit and caboodle.
tnx

I would appreciate the slanderous accusations to stop.

They only look slanderous now you changed your signature history. Your W magically gained a year in age. In fact 2 years in age as you say she will turn 28 this summer.

Convenient, that.

You will clearly never admit to romancing your W aged 15 on these boards but inside you know the truth. If you DID, then your marriage is going to be very hard to fix for the reasons I stated earlier.

I think it is unhelpful to offer standard MB advice in your case, because of the unusual circumstances if its inception.

Whether you feel your situation is ususual or not I very strongly advise you to get a telephone appointment with Steve Harley so that you can ascertain with a REAL PRO if we amateurs can help you with your sit. I think it would be a couple of hundred dollars very well spent.

I used MB and plan A helped by these folks to end a very entangled affair and restore the kind of relationship we had when we first met. Clearly, thats not really viable in your case.

Call Steve Harley and cut to the chase. BTW you really must tell hm the truth. It is copletely confidental but if you add year shere and there it may cause him to misprescribe.

This BS married someone who was a kid. Happens a lot. I don't approve of such an early marriage but even in California, it's allowed.

We are now past that. We all know A's c/b for any reason. They married before she had a real chance to grow up but that in itself is NOT the reason for the A.

We may all have our opinions about teenage girls marrying older guys.... ok.... this issue though is a common one which knows no age boundaries....AFFAIRS.

MMB wants to know how to deal with the A. His W is NO LONGER a teenager but an adult who has allowed the A to damage herself and her family.

This is the current issue, can we all focus here and help where we can? We can't change the past but we can move forward. OK?

MMB, you want to know what to do, here's the short list:

1. Secure your finances
2. Read Surviving an Affair, His Needs/Her Needs (both by Harley) & Love must be tough (Dobson).
3. Learn about plans A & B. The develop both.
Call Jennifer C @ MB for a plan. She is great. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

4. Create your personal support group. Ask for their support, let them know you will hear their POVs and suggestions but ask they respect your decision since you may not be able to disclose all info to all of your supporters.

5. Expose. This needs to be planned and with the correct intent.

6. Do NOT make any life changing decisions while in an emotional state.

7. Pray for a clear mind, calm heart and lots of patience.
Get your mind and heart in sync. This is important before implementing plan B.

8. Identify your personal and M boundaries. It should be a short but firm list. Implement them.

That's the short list. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Post as needed.

take care,
L.

MMB --

Make sure your marriage counselor is a MARRIAGE counselor.

Many actually counsel towards divorce or separation. A lot of them follow the "whatever makes you happy" doctrine.

We've had lots of experiences here with very bad marriage counselors.

So my advice is to stand FIRM for what you expect, and what you want out of marriage counseling.

Ask that counselor what their beliefs are.

In the police department when someone changes material facts in a story they are considered to be a liar...
in your case, the changing of the material facts of this "story" makes you a pedophile that should be in a jail cell getting aquainted with his cell mates.

Oh good grief. Here we go again with another board war.

MMB -- I am so sorry for all the off-topic discussion on your thread.

There is an ignore feature you may want to use if posters are offending you.

Normally this place is wonderful for getting help recovering your marriage. You seem to have arrived here during a time that everyone is all whipped up over who should or should not be supported.

yeah Lexxxy... now we should support child abusers....great logic...
I work every single day with the victims of people like this... your support of his actions is disgusting.

I find your logic disgusting too.

And what "actions" do you think I am supporting? Trying to recover his marriage? Yep -- I support it. Think its a great idea. Much better than winding up another divorce statistic.

what the F is wrong with the people on this board sometimes??? First affair marriages are being supported and now we have a man that was raping a child....and changing his story to make the truth less troublesome... and even a child rapist is getting offers of help here. Every person on this board should be hoping that his wife.... now a woman... gets away from this rapist and gets the help she will desperately need.

What a sad display of compassion for the ONLY victim in this whole scenario.... his WW.

MEDC --
Go back and read every post.
He hasn't changed his story, simply clarified when "people" jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Personally, I think YOUR display of compassion is the one lacking.

sorry... facts are what I do best... he changed the material facts of his story.

great -- show me where. I'll be open-minded.
I see no edits on any of his posts.

Tell me where you see that he's changed his story.

Lexxy... how about just his own words right here when he admitted he gave the incorrect information... would that be enough....
if not, check out Noodles post immediately following this.

show compassion for the girl he was sexually abusing....that is until he modified his story.

lexxy... edits only show when you want them too.

I did not have internet access 11 years ago ....

So this is a person going through arguably the most painful time in his life. And we can't give him grace to be unclear about an age or date?

I sometimes get my kids ages wrong. I have to stop and think about mine. And I'm relatively clear headed.

So we're gonna spend our time here disecting his details?
Its very clear that he started dating and married her when she was 18. (you didn't bother posting the rest of his sentence...)

I am one of these "people" you refer too.

How old is your spouse? Do you know? I imagine you do.
And so does this guy...

Read the first page. I quoted his info and the numbers in his CURRENT sig are different. Changed to be 'more' acceptable.

I am not buying for one second that there was NO courting while she was a minor... and then bang, they were married.

So, he HAS changed his story, when pressed about it. And the changes he made STILL don't have her old enough. 27 YO wife 11 years ago is still 16.

I have a 19 yo daughter. So call me protective. But I WILL call it what it is when I see it.

And I saw it.