spying on the Brits this week?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Mel - you are S L O W

Fast enough to catch your foreign foolishness! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

[yes, BigK ~ she is a little S L O W today...she confused me with medc!!!!]

So, are you ok, Mel?!?!? I am worried about you! This is not like you! You are my hero ~ you can keep threads going for 5 FREAKIN' YEARS!!! WHOA, NELLIE!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Don't be goin' crazy on us or anything!!! And DON'T threaten to leave again! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

**snicker**

Lord only knows what she is talking about! Of course I knew it was MEDC!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Aphrodite wrote:


Did you hear? They have updated the 1980 STD Reference Card you're still using. When you pick a new one up ('2007) be sure and get the new stats on car accidents .vs catching an STD too.

FYI until you get your new card: [color:"blue"] There are several potentially deadly STDs where wearing a condom is ineffectual.[/color]

Hope this helps! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

star*fish,

Yeah I agree except like mk, I also equate autonomy with independent behavior. For example, if I were single I would never have to worry about risking money on a business because that's not something I would do. But I could not stop my husband from buying a business against my wishes. The whole family eventually took a financial hit from a unilateral decision he made. That's something only a married woman has to deal with. Single women are free to refuse to buy a new business, so to say I did not give up any autonomy when I got married is wrong. I'm risking my entire financial future because I am no longer the sole decision maker. Obviously the major problem was we didnt' know about POJA, but even if we did, you can't force someone to follow it, yet you're still dependent on their willingness to do so. Once married, you are no longer captain of your own ship. Instead, you are dependent on someone else not making bad, independent decisions that will ruin your future.

Aphrodite,

Wow. I don't know about you....but married or not, mother or not, I'm still captain of my life. And my husband is captain of his life. And we're co-captains of our marriage and parenting.

I didn't know about the POJA when I got married either...but we made agreements about financial security long before we made our vows or I ever found MB. For my whole marriage....the largest sum either of us have agreed to spend without talking to each other....is 500 dollars. The majority of our availabe cash is invested....so it's not available for large purchases without planning anyway. My husband could NOT make that kind of unilateral decision to buy a business without me. The main accounts require both signatures. I don't understand how women allow themselves to be so financially vulnerable. It's not good for them, and not good the marriage. H and I both decided that I was better at controlling the money than he is....he's way to impulsive. nobody's dependent unless they're willing to put up with that that kind of carp.

Yes, of course you knew...silly me. WHAT was I thinking?!?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

the fact that you H can not buy a business without consulting you first shows that there is not autonomy...same thing about how much money you can spend.
Autonomy would be making these decisions independently... at least by the definition of the word. There seems to be some confusion regarding the definition of the word.
You are a whole person with or without your H SF...but that does not change the fact that you are not autonomous by definition.

you left coasters need to slow down on that mari-hoochie weed. Good grief, you people are regular dope fiends. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

>nobody's dependent unless they're willing to put up with that that kind of crap.

And what exactly could you have done if your husband inherited a lot of money, put it into an account in his name only and bought a business anyway? It's not as if you have any legal recourse. You only have the trust that your husband wouldn't do that to you. But if he wanted to, you couldn't stop him. That's not being captain of your ship -that's the both of you depending on each other not to act in ways that would financially hurt you.

If it weren't for my desire to have kids, I never would have gotten married. There are just too many risks involved in being interdependent and very few couples achieve the kind of emotional intimacy that would make it worth all the trouble. But the Harleys seem to have a program to help couples get there, so here I am. Some days more/less hopeful than others.

Okay so in the past few weeks you have all decided that MB principles work on:

1) affair marriages
2) swinging

So I's haz me a kwestion. I beed from Arkansas n I haz me a cuzin, Billy Joe Bob, whos seein a bit too much of hiz prize heffer, Bessie Bob. Now that ole heffer haz been tryin to go NC cuz ever time Billy Joe Bob come to dat pastur, she start backin up to duh fence. Well ole BJB he a smart one cuz he jes cut himsef a hole n that thar fence.

Now hiz wife, Jethreen Emaloo Bob (everone n Arkansas' middel name is Bob) got wize n called him on it n fetched hur shotgun n dun shot hiz hinny full o rock salt from both dem barels. So my kweston iz will MB work on dis siteation and, if so, whut shud I be a tellin BJB?

[Mind ya, I SWEAR dis ain't fur me or nuttin]

Now, if that offends anyone, just remember that I am being equally as serious as this entire thread.

Heffer?
Fence?

Splain.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Now Pio...I find your tone very rude....if someone here wants to milk a cow or make bacon with a pig, I am sure that Dr. H's plan could be modified to deal with these situations. Heck, we have already seen worse on these boards.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Obviously you're not from the south.

MEDC,

I forgive you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Ohhh so true.

Please read my location. To your left and up.

Signed,
Billy Bob Bubba Res

medc,

Without autonomy, you would be completely submissive and subject to the unilateral decisions of your spouse. Unless of course, your spouse sacrificed their autonomy also and then they would be subject to your unilateral decisions...wait, you can't make decisions...you sacrificed autonomy.

Autonomy is comprised of your giver AND your taker. You need to bring both into a healthy relationship. You cannot govern yourself (in a healthy way) without both qualities. Autonomy is not a self centered behavior (i.e. no one tells me what to do) Autonomy is the ability to police ones self and make decisions for the greater good of the marriage (i.e. marriage of two = one) not ones self. Major decisions are made with your partner in marriage. You are half, your spouse is half, 'together' you are whole and can make autonomous decisions for the greater good of the marriage.

If you sacrifice your autonomy, you sacrifice a crucial part of your identity. When you marry, you do not lose your autonomy, you join your autonomy with that of your spouse and 'together' you continue to be as autonomous as ever.

Actually I lived in Oklahoma for 12 years. Tornados were always a problem and always came from the south. So the perennial question as to why there are so many tornados in Oklahoma was whether Kansas sucks or Texas blows. I haven't lived in the USA for 15 years but friends there back in Oklahoma tell me the jury is still out.