Of course I knew that but Duped didn't...

I do that, too, Pep...

I thought the post was FUNNY...

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recreational activities provide pure enjoyment

we look forward to our recreational time

which is why SHARING recreational time with our spouse is very important

because it provides nearly effortless LoveBank deposits

think of pre-marriage dating .... dates were planned around recreational activities ... Dr Harley says:

[color:"blue"]"You may not have known it at the time, but if you hadn't spent your recreational time with each other, you probably wouldn't have created the romantic relationship that led to marriage." [/color]

it is a danger signal when couples find themselves looking forward to being separated because that is when they have the most fun

Dr Harley says:

[color:"blue"]" Don't engage in any recreational activities that you can't enjoy together until you've found those you do enjoy together." [/color]

want to enjoy your marriage and fill that LoveBank regularly?

[color:"blue"] " Be each other's favorite recreational companion." [/color]

That stuff seems so obvious...

How did we go astray from it?

part of it seems to be a cultural pressure to please ourselves above our spouse

I was going to skip writing about recreational companionship on this thread ... and then I read [color:"red"]THIS ~~~> [/color] *HERE*

the advice this poor woman was given was sooooooo far off from what Dr Harley thinks about recreational companionship .... I decided to put this out here !

[color:"green"]" Perhaps your husband is feeling a bit smothered by your constant togetherness? "[/color]

WTH ???

My guess would be the POJA.

The POJA states: "Never do anything without the enthusiastic agreement of BOTH spouses."

Not, just agreement, but enthusiastic agreement.

And, each of us is one of the spouses. So, things get out of balance when: people give and give and give but they aren't enthusiastic about it. Or, people take and take and take from someone who isn't enthusiastic.

For each of these topics, there should be some enthusiastic agreement on how things are handled. Sometimes, just making your spouse happy is enough to make you enthusiastic. Sometimes it's not and negotiation is required.

I think the breakdown comes in when "just" making your spouse happy isn't enough and your Taker needs to jump into the fray to protect your own enthusiasm. Taker's aren't always bad. Givers aren't always good.

The wife who grits her teeth while going fishing to make her H happy is damaging her marriage as much as the H who goes fishing without his wife (so he can be happy) rather than finding something they can both do to BE happy together.

Mys

PS. Pep, I found the link on the Electric Fence personality. Thank you for recommending it but I don't think it quite fits my situation.

Well she certainly left at the top of her game..as a DEFENDER OF TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE...

There's some VALUABLE INFORMATION in this thread...

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