This is just my rant about my STBX and how entitle rich and I crazy she is.

Let me just lay it out on a timeline

May 17 - daughters Kindergarden graduation - ww meets army dude and next few days talks on cell phone for hours

May 20 - WW spends night at Army Dudes house

During the following week she talks hours to him on
the phone

June 2 - WW spends night ast Army Dudes house

June 4-10 WW spends Hours on myspace and yahoo personnals

June 11-15 WW Starts talking to myspace person on phone
aver 3.2 hrs a night on phone

June 15 Goes out with myspace guys
June 16 spends night at myspace guy - miss daughters horse
show
June 17-19 stays each night with myspace guy going home in
the morning to feed cats

My divorce decree was filed yesterday and will get served this week.

I am not worried what she will do with the girls when its her week again.

Life sucks when you have a BPD as an Ex

Answer: Unbelievably so. You are not alone, the majority of WWs are crazy to the point of insanity. Mine is on the very brink. Read my post here and in the Plan A/Plan B forum and others post here, you will find what I am saying to be true. Sorry you have to resort to D. I called my attorney 2 days ago and am trying to work out an agreement with WW for the terms of the D. We do not work out something agreeable, I file anyways. You cannot live like this for long man, or you will be as crazy as her. I'm getting there and have to get out to save myself.

It sounds immature and slutty, but I don't think I'd go with crazy.

But why are you so obsessed with how she spends her time?
Down to 3.2 average? And how do you know where she spends her nights or when she feeds her cats? Why are you still tracking her phone calls?

You are soon to be divorced.
Are you still harboring hope she will change? Or this will wake her up?

If not, let go of this.
You said you're not worried about when she has your daughters....that would be the only legimate reason for you to continue monitoring her....

This is a pattern that started last summer when we first seperated, when she wanted the seperation to after different relationship's... she puts everything second even her kids.

I am do agree that I should let this go and her life is her own but how she has acted in the past, I am still concerned what she would do with the girls in a new relationship(s).

I do think she is running so loose and so fast to find her new soulmate that once she hits rock bottom she could realize I was standing there all along waiting for her.

I agree with Lexxxy VR. Over time you have shown an unhealthy need to "know" stuff about your stbx. Let her go and live a good life. Do the best you can from your children and protect them as best you can.
But I guess I have the same question... how do yu know what she is doing? You have her itinerary down better than most intact couples. I suggest you stop... since at this point you are most likely breaking the law to obtain this info and becomming obsessed about her comings and goings.

Viking;

I know this stuff hurts you. But you have to let go. Because there is absolutely nothing you can do to change her actions. This level of monitoring someone you will be divorced from in a few days is creepy. And I'll bet if she were telling the story, you would be the one sounding crazy.

If it was because of concern for your kids -- thats one thing. (But you said you weren't worried about that in your first post.)

Like MEDC said -- lead your life the best way you can. Leave her to self-destruct in her own time and way.

Vike,

Hey buddy, are you concerned about how your WW would act witht he girls in tow? If not then let this go for your own health. On the other hand if you are concerned that she cannot be a fit parent when with the girls and will negaitively influence them in any number of areas then by all means fight her tooth and nail in court for full custody or at least primary custodial.

Most of the information I have comes from the girls directly and from common friends, ww in here entitlement likes to share about how she has found her greatest love.... so most of the information I gather is passive.

A lot of people know what WW has done in the past and have feed me information and have kept an eye out for her and what she says.

Now I have gone back and confirmed several of these things and made sure the information was correct, but I always forward that information onto my lawyer.

I am concerned about the well being of my children. A friend of ours recited a conversation that she had with my WW and she said that WW was very upset with the children for constantly defending their father... now my friend is the one that said this, but what are they defending me fron.... attacks by the WW against my character and person, you betcha. She has done it to my face and to theirs.

Just monday when picking up the girls for visitation, my oldest wasn't feeling good and had asked to stay and lay down and recover from a day camp in the heat, WW got upset with her and gave her a bunch of immature guf on the phone. So my daughter laid down and fell asleep so when WW got here to take the kids, I said to her that daughter doesn't feel good so she is sleeping and I am going to get some gatorade because she is dehydrated.... with 6 kids ranging in the age of 5-11 years old, my WW started yelling you go get her or I am calling the cops, I am getting the cops her e right now.... now my 6 and 9 year started crying and whaling. Now our friend was on the phone with WW and told her to take it back to tell the kids she wouldn't do it and she finally did.

I got back 10 minutes later and they were gone and my oldest was sleeping, I had a neighbor who is a paramedic come over and check her out and said she was tired and dehydrated.

When we seperated she introduced the kids to her OM in 3 days after seperation

So I went out this morning at about 7:30 am to walk my dog, I had a inclination I would seem someone drive by and by about 7:45 she did coming from the guys house.

He lives 5 minutes from me and she lives 5 minutes from me and she has to pass my place to get there.

She didn't see me but I saw her.

I just keep wondering how a person could do such a thing to themselves let alone to their kids. I worried about what will happen next week when the kids are with her and she starts feeling the withdrawls from him.

I wonder if a man can truely want a woman that needy and clingy.

VR... worry only about your kids here. The marriage is over and I would seriously worry if you ever took that "woman" back.

Try and get full custody if you can.

VR

""I wonder if a man can truely want a woman that needy and clingy.""

For a while, till they get their fill.

You're also jumping to a lot of conclusions, she could have been running to the store, taking a cat to a vet, getting gas before work, running home because she forgot something.

And no matter what she's been doing, its none of your business unless it affects your kids.

And what makes you think she's needy and clingy???
You have no basis for that observation. You have no idea how she behaves in those relationships.

You are wondering how a person could do such a thing? What "thing"? Sleep around? Its hardly uncommon.
You only need to worry about it if your kids are exposed to it. Otherwise, what she does on her time is her business. Keep your nose out of it.

Mine was trying to have the OM kill me.

I say it IS his business until the divorce is final.

Pariah --
His divorce was final this week.

the divorce was filed this week it wont be final for another 30 days.

This is the 4th relationship in the past year that she has had, each time she becomes obsessive with the OM and neglects the children, I am watching her behavior because its a pattern with her, even before our seperation she got into EA's that were almost manic, 3800 minutes a month on her cell phone.

Within 2 weeks of one relationship she was telling the kids tehy were moveing from NC to NY so she could be near her soulmate, the kids freaked and so did I.

She continually protray's herself as a victim, poorly I might add.

Our pastor and neighbor for 10 years made the best comment early on in the seperation and that was, WW looses friends every few years, she attach's to a group then she attack's it and then repells from it, its all a pattern of her's.

I never noticed it because I was her fallback and her safety net, things changed last year when her mom and dad moved down, the safety net was transferred to them and I got kicked to the curb.

So I recognize that I pay to close attention to what she is doing, I recognize I should not worry about her, what I feel is that if I know what is happening I can better judge the coming events, if she acts like she did last summer, the kids will rebel from her even more and I can use that when I go into court. If this guy turns out to be a problem for the kids I can move the court action faster.

I already did a background on him and he seems to be a nice guy but he was arrested once for distrubution of tobacco to a minor.

I think the worst thing just happened, my oldest daughter and I were walking our dog and her mom drove by towards other man's house, there is no questioning where she was going.

A few minutes later her mom called, started down a lie about being somewhere's else and doing something elese... this is a long lasting pattern of lieing and getting caught.

My daughter broke down on her and called her a nasty sinner and went off on her for doing the things that she told her she wouldn't do again... our daughters are strong christian's strong the me and their mother so this is a huge thing for her.

Our business pays for our cell phones. XH and I use different carriers (he used to have to have a particular carrier for work...) - and the bills for each used to be $50-70 or whatever. Neither of us used to exceed the minutes on our plans.

When XH started communicating by phone with his GF (this was not an A, it was after we split up and I knew about her), a bill came in for over $700. Needless to say, I refused to pay for that out of the business. I offered him the $60 or whatever that was "average" and he was on the hook for the rest. After that, he changed his address with the cell company (to his own residence) and I haven't been given a bill since. That was 18 months ago.

He'd have been better off using a 1-900 number <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Cheaper!

JinGA

I think cell phone is just one symptom of the addictiveness of the Romanntic affairs/relationships. As long as I have been on here, I keep thinking how many of these waywards on here could be mine. I guess that is the script we like to refer too.

This is what hurts or so confusing, I love her, I would take her back but why would I want to have this weight on me after all the things that have gone on and that have happened.

JinGA I been reading your story I wish one day that I have would have an opportunity like yours one day.

So waywards brother lives 3.5 hours from here, he was suppose to come up today, but called and he is broken down somewhere's in SC.

Wayward dropped the kids off at grandma's and told them she would be back in 6-8 hours. Now, I am 99% sure her new boyfriend is along for the ride, the one of 2 weeks.

Now I sent her a txtmsg and left a vmail reminding her that our custody agreement has a 3 hour clause for first right of refusal and that I would like to go get the girls and take them to the pool or the movies.

Now I called back a 3rd time trying to get in touch with her. Here phone is now off.

Now I have already sent a note to my lawyer about this, but I am wondering if I have the BF cell number should I call it and ask to speak to my WW?