Yes, that was the plan to have it go with the kids. I just did not want that to be contrary to what I state in the PBL about no contact. Maybe add a statement about it in the PBL so there is no confusion?

Yeah...that would be in the section about communication. You say that in the case of blood or fire, you can call. Otherwise, all communications will be via the notebook, or with intermediary or email. Whatever route you want her to go thru.

OK, I have an appt with SH Monday morning. I am thinking tie up all loose ends, let attorney and GAL know what's up and give them all my documentation, meet with SH, go to plan B.

This is it.

This is it.

SH will be the commander of the battle. You will be the captain, implementing SH's battle plan. Your attorney and GAL will be the guys on the ground doing the fighting and taking the hits.

Eph--as you can see, we really are all here. Today is the day!! Carpe diem!!!

Application approval...please pick up your gear...cooler, lawnchair, camo, etc...

Spyware/gear not included...head phones and loud music optional...should you need word search or cross word puzzles, I'll share mine...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Dr. appt went fine. I hardly looked at or spoke to WW - too painful remembering what was and what is now.

(((((Eph525)))))

Commit your plans to the Lord and He will give you peace.

Praying for you, your children, and your wife.

Thanks FH. I know I never came back to address the points you made in my thread and for that I apologize.

I agree that the three points you specified are critical to our success if we are to make it together

I just could not NOT do plan B here.

Rin - you know i have the loud music covered, and it's not optional for me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I guess you need to get a move on some open houses too! let's tie up those loose ends...

:::shrugging:::

I figured you would have that covered!

h&p - sorry I completely missed your post, and with further reflection I agree with your thoughts.

Rin - agree on the open house. Now that I am a plumber of the most basic sort I need to get moving on that.

OK, just tightening up the PBL - not trying for perfection just trying to not have any gaps. Added this info regarding communications:

Until such time as you are willing to meet these conditions, please do not call me, send me e-mails, or leave voice messages unless there is a life or death emergency regarding our children. I have arranged for any direct communications to go through our friends L&R at XXXX. Also, we will use the notebook I have created to communicate important dates for the kids, details of doctor’s appointments and any necessary medications, lists of items they may take from home to your house and vice versa, and school work related information. We can add any other information that may be in the kids best interests, but please don’t use this notebook to communicate anything but topics relevant to the kids.

Looks good Eph. As others have said above...this is still a war. And in the initial parts of that war, you took some tremendous hits. But you werent destroyed!!

You regained your footing and have done all of the prep work for what you need to do now. While in Plan A, you were still on the defensive...but were taking it back to the "enemy." Destabilizing the enemy's attack.

Now, you are prepared. Using the military analogy used above...the Lord is your commanding general. He has this whole thing in his sights, and he ultimately knows what is best. Your battlefield commander is as was stated above...Steve Harley. But YOU are the officer in charge...you are where the rubber meets the road. You will need to stick to the plans given to you and trust that those around you have your back. Many times, it will look like the plan is failing.

Trust the plan. Trust the MB principles. Ultimately, trust the Lord! If the plan needs changing, you will be so advised. But until then...it is for you to carry on with the mission.

After the initial hel! of Plan B, you will settle in and begin to enjoy it. Enjoy the fact that you are no longer on the defensive. You no longer have to take anything from your wife. You will have quiet. And in that quiet, the Lord will guide you.

You have followed orders well, up to now. Please see this mission thru. Many in Plan B have a bunch of setbacks because they give in...or are hurt and cant stay dark. Remember, you are "addicted" to your wife, just as she may be addicted to an OM. Which means, once you go dark, you will go thru withdrawal. It will suck! I'm not goingto lie to you.

We will help you with that. By staying busy, you will get thru that period. Your kids will keep you busy. The house sitch will keep you busy. And if you need other things to do to keep you busy, we will help you find those too.

Your wife has no clue what she is doing. She has no plan. She is just blowing in the wind. You have your plans...and your orders. This will be THE hardest thing you do in your life, I guarantee it! But once you come thru it, you will be battle hardened. And a different man.

So, Charlie Mike (that is short in military terms for "Carry on with the Mission.").

I fully expect my own withdrawal from WW to begin. I think the fear of that has been something holding me back.

Actually, I think that has a lot to do with the way I have felt as of late because while I was stumbling to plan B I began to pull back from her.

Wow - just realized this. July 4, 2007 - celebration of Independence Day for the USA. - also the beginning of my own independence of sorts.

I celebrated it in that way myself...thought about Tming POWS but didn't...being the voice of reason for myself...LMAO

Withdrawal, yes, you will have it, but you'll get through that too...if you keep yourself busy, it will not be that bad...JMHO...

Stop worrying...like LA has said "Worrying is like praying for what you don't want!" So, stop! Wasted energy...one day at a time!

Independence Day...

That's a good way to reclaim that day for YOU, Eph. Not to say that you are independent of the commitments you made, but rather that you are independent of the harmful choices she is making to her family.

So today is the day.

What is the Plan B battle plan for today? Are you mailing the Plan B letter today? That would be one step in the direction! What ONE THING are you doing today?


--Mama bee

I was thinking of giving it to her tomorrow when I drop the kids off as I won't see her all weekend. Gives me tonight to get the notebook together and that is a critical piece of this puzzle.

I'd still like to give my lawyer and the GAL a heads up beforehand. I think that might reflect poorly on me to not do that, especially since I just had this conversation with my lawyer last week.

I had bought one of those wherify phones to use it's GPS functions last year and I can give that to the kids to talk to me with. Then there is no need for them to use her phone.

So I guess I have done several things today:

Tighten up PBL
Work out communication issues and details (notebook, and phone)
Have intermediaries on standby

Good job my friend! Hang tough. Everyone's on your side.

Go find that happy place. It's time to start helping yourself. Stop worrying about her. She'll either come around or you'll be better off without her.

Now if I could just get some of your strength to get in deep with my Plan A.

As you know, you're in my constant prayers and I'm here also to support you when you need it! Remember that leg!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Have a good evening getting everything together. Get your independence back! I think that's perfect!

I'll be out, but you know how to get me!

HUGS!!!

Eph, you have made excellent progress today!

You are getting the kids' notebook finalized.
You have a phone for the kids to use to call you--no need to answer calls from her cell!
You have tightened up the PBL.
You have put intermediaries on notice.

I suggest that you inform attorney and GAL by email or phone message either today or tomorrow morning, and plan on handing over that PBL tomorrow when you drop them off. That is an excellent strategy and will give you the whole weekend to go through whatever may come to pass. If you have withdrawal, you will have us around to support you through it. If she tries to force you to communicate, you will not be trying to deal with that at work.

Good job, Eph. Now, follow through. You can do it!! This is it!!!



--CJ

I wish I felt like I have made progress. On the surface it feel like all hope is lost. I am just glad to know that plan B is part of the overall plan, and that many have had success with it.

I don't know if I can sleep tonight thinking about how tomorrow will go.

{{Eph}}

Thinking of you and sending prayers your way!

Thanks so much for this am's inspiration!

Eph, YOU are an inspiration, as well!