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meeting with GAL scheduled for this Friday.
even in darkness, taking baby steps.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Good for YOU! You go, Big BOY! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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I've prayed for the peace that passes all understanding.
Well, I feel peace and I don't understand it.
Bugs - Probably the same for you.
SP - Thanks for the e-card and your thoughts and prayers.
RMX - if you are reading, I got your e-mail and will reply soon.
Two TMs from WW yesterday afternoon asking what the deal was with the kids for the night. I'm thinking, Duh!, they spend the night at your house just like every Tuesday night. I was disappointed that she did that, but shook it off. Checked in with CJ and she handled it.
Will see how the exchange goes this afternoon and if she drops them off as requested.
Another day and God is good.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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You GO Boy! I'm so proud of you!
Welcome to the wonderful life of Plan B! Better than you expected? LMAO <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Is for me!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Eph,
Right here with you, feeling a surprising amount of peace! Ups and downs the last few days, but more ups than downs! For me, there was a sense of euphoria at first, then lately a couple of days of wondering if I did the 'right' thing, even though I KNOW I did. Normal I think
You are doing great! Have a wondeful day!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Very normal Bugs, I went throught the same thing...and I wouldn't change my life for the world now!
It's SOOO quiet and peaceful!
YeePEE!
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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WW stirred the pot today. My attorney BCC'ed me on an e-mail reply to the GAL. GAL had sent an e-mail to him and WW's attorney stating "I understand we have a problem with the visitation exchanges now." My attorney replied that he had not heard anything but would check in with me. We talked and I explained to him the deal. He sent this reply back to the GAL: I talked to Eph525. He will explain it more to you when you meet, but as I understand it, he was making a proposal to her about how he would like the exchanges to go and she shut the door on him and wouldn’t communicate. I was a nervous wreck for a bit, but I am cool now. He has to fight this fight for me as well, after all that is his job ( and I think he has had it pretty easy so far <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ) Hopefully she follows the rules for the exchange this afternoon.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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yeah, I will send that to my attorney along with the final version of the PBL.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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my attorney forwarded me an e-mail he got from the GAL where she said "it appears their communication problem is getting worse."
My response to him was that it was HER communication that was getting worse.
Hopefully tomorrow's meeting with GAL goes well.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Well it appears that WW would rather run up both of our lawyer's fees than use the intermediary. She even falsely claimed that I was threatening to take away Tuesday overnight visits. She also does not want to change the exchanges to be at a neutral location, only wanting to follow the temp order and not offering a compromise.
What a tangled web she weaves - about the time I feel like I am getting somewhat free I get sucked back in. I can't even feel the complete peace of plan B yet.
Hopefully I can get some clarity this afternoon after talking with the GAL - that is at 3 today. Pray for me.
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The more of stink they raise, the better plan B is working. If she's going to make false claims, she is only going to hurt her standing.
Jim BS - 32 (me) FWW - 33 Married 8/31/03 No kids (but 3 cats) D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA) NC agreed to - 11/8/06 NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07 Status - In Recovery Jim's Story
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well based on the e-mail by attorney sent he is taking control of the sitch. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Let your A do his job, that is why you pay him! Step back and stay dark!
Let Her go to fall into the mess she has made for herself. If she decides she is ready to clean up her act, be a good Mother to her children and a MAH-VE-LOUS wife to you, THEN you can think about dealing with or talking to her but not before.
Go Eph!!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Remember and review earlier comments I made about communicating with the GAL.
You are well practiced but remember
The kids best interest is all the GAL is concerned with.
You marriage is irrelevant to her.
You can mention Plan B's purposes but don't make "saving the marriage" the primary focus. You are not mad. You don't hate your wife...just preserving any feelings you have left just in case she changes her mind. You aren't punishing her or being vindictive. Plan B is for peace...a contented father is better for the kids. Peace is better for the kids. You ARE communicating with your wife and you fully intend to continue co-parenting the children; however, extra interpersonal contentious contact with her is distressing to you and the family.
Stuff like that.
Good luck...I'll be pulling for you.
Mr. W
FBH(me)-51 FWW-49 (MrsWondering) DD19 DS 22 Dday-2005-Recovered
"agree to disagree" = Used when one wants to reject the objective reality of the situation and hopefully replace it with their own.
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OK, got it. Thanks for the encouragement.
Will post an update later on.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Way to go E...I think that you are doing a great job of handling this...
I'm looking forward to the update! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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Mr. W has it exactly right. Make it about the kids ALWAYS with the GAL.
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage ********************* “In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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meeting went well. GAL agreed with nearly everything, but had a few concerns.
More details later. Off to have fun with the kiddos.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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I hope Eph doesn't mind, but I'll throw in my own personal observations.
First, he is doing REALLY WELL! I am so proud of him. His WW is not the "yeller and screamer" type that will call 100X or email over and over...she's more the "manipulate things behind the scenes" type--telling the truth is optional. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Anyway, so far she has been pretty silent to us but talking to everyone else behind backs. Thankfully, Eph was wise and prepared for his Plan B by talking to his Atty. and the GAL and he had laid the groundwork. They understand that he's doing this as a healthy, personal boundary and that POV works fine for now.
Also, I have to say that so far as I can tell, he has maintained a dark NC and when confused as to whether to contact or not or what re: kids, he has asked me for advice on how to proceed. Hey, Plan B with kids can be tough if the WS wants to keep up their relationship with the kids (sadly, so many don't).
Keep praying for the atty. to do his work and do it well--and for the GAL to have wisdom--and for Eph to stay dark..but so far...so good!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
--CJ
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