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I think you need to put him on the back burner now, and take care of yourself and your daughter. Stress is very bad for your health.
Realize that the Lord is in control, and try to sit back and enjoy life.
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Well...It's now been 12 days since I was given the divorce papers saying that he has filed. This past weekend was his weekend with my daughter. However, he never called, never emailed and never showed up for our daugher. Of course, my daughter will tell you that daddy doesn't love her and he is just showing more and more how sick he truly is. We are having a great time at divorce care though. If you are reading this and have not gone, please check it out. Go to www.divorcecare.com and find the local chapter in your area. It has been a great help. It is to help you get through the emotions of divorce. Whether our divorce becomes final or not it has been such a great help ! Please keep me and my daughter in your prayers.... We are still hopeful... But continuing on anyway.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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Not showing up for the kids is very typical. Of all the stuff they do, this makes me the angriest. Prayers going up for you and DD.
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INeed,
Believer is right on target,,,typical WS.
I am so glad to hear that you are both involved in DivorceCare. Super!
Hang in there, keep your chin up and your eyes on God!
{{{INeed}}}
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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So tonight, me being the nice person let WS come to get my DD to take her on a night of fun. He comes in and tells her to go outside he had something to tell mommy.
SO here I am and he tells me he met someone and they are serious. THen he gets mad at me because I'm not crying, or yelling or anything. He says what aren't you going to say anything ? Don't you have questions ? I said , no. THen he says "Don't you want to know who she is or what she does or how we met ?" I again said, no.
He said aren't you mad at me ? I replied. Look, this is not a battle between me and you, this is a spiritual battle and God will handle it. I don't have to worry about you, if God intends you to come back, he'll lead you there. I am only concerned with the fact that I make it to heaven and that my daughter does as well. Other than that you are a big boy and can handle yourself.
He was insisting on telling Katie about this lady. I said fine, but please tell her with her counselor there to help her understand. He went ahead against my will and told her tonight. THen he took her to meet her and her children and to my astonishment, they are sleeping there tonight.
He met this lady october 5th on the internet thru match.com and moved in with her last weekend after knowing her for 1 week. I know nothing about her except that she has 2 children and is a doctor.
I told him to bring my dd home and he refused. He threatened in march to take katie and run away. I'm afraid that he could do something like this....
Contacting my attorney monday morning for help.
Please pray for Katie's safety and that she does get returned home.
Thanks all...
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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I took the next step and filed a pfa and emergency custody hearing to gain permanent custody.
I am going to be going dark...really dark.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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Good job. Continue concentrating on your family, and protect it. That is the best course right now.
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At the PFA hearing the judge okayed protecting me, but said that we have no grounds for her. I am supposed to let her go with him this weekend.
Court date for the emergency custody is next friday. My attorney said to go ahead and not send her. We have grounds and an excuse for contemp of court. SO I'm hoping and praying that I don't end up in Jail.
My husband had his uncle, Katie's biological grandfather come to testify at court against me. WHat grandparents. They haven't seen her in over 8 months and in 8 months they talked to her for 5 minutes only because she called them. They don't realize I am protecting her. I hope her grandfather is at the next hearing when we show exactly why I am trying to protect her.
I explained to Katie what's going on. I was so afraid to tell her because I didn't want her to hate me. SHe looked at me and said "you love me mommy, you don't threaten me. It's okay, God will protect us." She made me cry. I said honey, I know how much daddy means to you and I want you to see him in the worst kind of way, but I want you to do it safely.
So now I'm dreading this weekend, for fear he contacts the police to try to get her.
THen she shocked me the other day. She asked if someone from our divorce care group would come and live with us to protect us. SHe was all worried. I explained that God is doing a great job.
So I sat and worried, about why this is happening. Today's sermon on the radio was Hebrews 12 on how and why god disciplines us. I needed that.
So please keep me in your prayers next friday.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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The hearing for Emergency Custody didn't take place. They gave us a DA with no authority.
In the meantime, My WS and his attorney are fighting me and making me spend more money, because he does not want to admit that his daughter needs medicine and a special diet.
His attorney called me looney, because I said that I would not force my daughter to call him like she wanted me to. I stood my ground and said, " We adopted a special needs child, she is special needs because of her emotional stability and all the fighting she had been through, I told her that I would not hurt my daughter's health by forcing her to talk to someone that does nothing but hurt her."
I hope and pray that I am doing the correct thing. I love her, and I love my husband. I hate that I have to do this. I just wish he would follow the regimens and not yell and I would be happy to let her go.
My nerves were so bad all week that I've had hives on my face.
Tonight she called to say hello. He's to make custody arrangements via email. He Insisted that I drop her off on Friday for her father daughter weekend. She said that she could not see him because the guy at the court said so. He got all nasty and said that Mommy should not be telling her adult matters.
He purgered himself so bad on the papers that they filed trying to show that I'm such a bad mother. I know if I was a bad mother, I would have let her go with him.
She likes my one friend, who is extremely nice. We found out that he and his son are moving to Ohio. She asked if we could move to Ohio. SHe said that I need a boyfriend and that my friend would never treat me like daddy and that I deserve the best.
She is correct, but I deserve God's best. I explained to her that God could always change daddy and lead him home, or he will lead us somewhere else, but Mommy is still married and I still Love daddy.
I hate to feel like we are using her like a gumby doll. I don't understand why this all has to happen, but God's making us better, and I pray he will my husband as well. I heard a sermon today that sometimes God places us in someones life for awhile and then moves us somewhere else. I don't know if this is that instance, but I'm awaiting his best for my life.
I felt great watching him and his lawyer walk out of the building with their eyes and faces to the ground. My attorney says we have the upper hand and they know it. My WS thought I would drop the case when they mentioned needing more money for expert witnesses (My Daughter's doctors). I replied, if this is what needs done then bring it. If I have to let my house forclose to pay an attorney to protect my daughter then I will.
Right now my WS is having fun playing family with this doctor and her two children. He is trying to conceive another. He is taking them for vaccation where he last slept with my best friend in our hotel room.
Just when life gets better, he always finds a way of sticking in the knife and turning it further and further.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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INAH,
I've read bits and pieces of your story. Please know that I am praying for you.
God is working something out for good in all of this because we are loved and called according to His purpose. He is with us even when everyone seems against us.
I look forward to the time when we are in heaven not even remembering the trials that we endured here. In Romans 8:18, Paul says, "the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us".
Keep your eyes on Christ, He will lead you through this.
Sara
Me- 33 WXH- 33 DS- 5 DD- 3 D-Day 6/29/07 Divorce Final 8/27/08
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None of us would raise our hands and volunteer to experience disappointment or sorrow. However God does his greatest work in the hard times. This is when we need to remember that whatever drives us to GOD is ALWAYS good for US ! Nothing does this more effectively than trouble, HEARTACHE, and adversity which ARE MIGHTY tools in GOD'S hands.
Please pray with me that the Lord will watch over us while we are seperated from each other, because God is our witness. (Genesis 31:49)
Satan wants us to be on our own, to do what we think only we can do. And God allows us to break only in order to Bless us. Brokenness is ALWAYS a pathway to a blessing. Please pray for me so that I will follow God's pathway instead of relying on my own strength, so that I don't miss the blessing that god has for me to enjoy.
It would be all to simple for me to rush ahead of God and forget that before God will use me or my husband we must be broken. I have been, but he has not been yet. God is at work in my life, but not in my husbands yet, I must be patient and wait for God's presence in his life so that we might be able to be reconciled. God is always at work, molding and shaping our lives and removing the dross or anything that could prevent us from fullfilling our God Given Purpose. His call to us is to be faithful in whatever we have been given to do, even if it is standing for our marriages and praying for the salvation of our husbands.
I thank God for where I cam from and how far he has brough me. Pride causes us to look down on our spouses who are trapped in sin, but we have to remember that we once yielded to sin and are doing so even now through judging others. God calls us to pray even harder for those who have drifted in their devotion or never made a commitment to Christ.
Please help me pray for the salvation of my husband and his family this week. I have forgiven him and do forgive him for everything that has happened. I just pray that God might reach down and touch his heart so that his eyes might be opened and his heart accepting of Christ.
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Lord, heal our hurts and pains in our hearts. Help us to forgive and to love our spouses unconditionally. Holy spirit, empower us to love YOU LORD, our spouses, ourselves, our neighbors and our enemies as YOUR WORD has taught us. Lord, break down the walls of hostility this Holiday Season that has been made by selfishness, anger and unforgiveness by our spouses and other loved ones. Lord, reveal God's truths to our spouses and our beloved ones that we pray salvation for every day. And Lord make this Christmas season special to us and our families. We pray this in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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Monday will be a Protection from abuse hearing again. He violated the order and called my cell phone. Debating whether to tell or not.
Then on December 18th, there is a contempt of court hearing scheduled. I am now in contempt of court 3 times because the local DA didn't put the paperwork thru for our emergency custody hearing.
On top of that my retainer for the lawyer is through and I have to come up with money for these next hearings. But I know that God is handling everything for me. He'll help me anyway he can.
Please keep me in your prayers. On the brighter side. I have been praying and asking god if it was time to give up and push forward. My answer was "It's not the end yet. Let's stay with it." THis came from my fortune cookie on the day that I had been praying. Now I have to wait for HIM to tell me if HE'S talking about the court sessions, or my relationship with my husband.
I took my friend and his son to see christmas lights. My daughter leaned over and said, it's okay mommy kiss him. I pulled her to the side and said to her, " Honey, mommy is married to daddy. I know we are seperated, and I know he has filed for divorce, but in GOD's eyes and my eyes we are married. That means no dating and definately no kissing."
She said, but daddy kisses her all the time.
I said to her, " Honey, I can't control daddy, but I want the best life possible, and the only way to do that is to follow GOD and his words. For me to date, or kiss or anything like that would be sinning. Mommy won't do that. I love God very much, and the only thing we can do is to pray that daddy's heart will be touched and his eyes will be opened to know what sin is."
She hugged me. Then she told me that she liked my friend so much that she wanted us to move to the state they are moving to. She is just seeing a great life right now.
He and his son are going thru the same thing and he hates to go at it alone as well. We take the kids to movies or somewhere where they can have fun, and we can talk about our hectic week.
I know I don't have to worry. I have explained to him how much I love my husband, and how much I'm willing to wait on him and God. I have been ministering to him as well, and I believe his walk is starting to straighten a little now as well.
I know that is my purpose. To minister to as many people as I can.
Thank you all for being here. I guess it's plan B time now. He's getting really dark. I think it's funny that he knows my daughter goes to bed between 7:30 and 8:30 yet he calls after 9:30, just hoping I'll answer I guess. I have learned after I put her to bed, I shut the ringers on the phone off all together.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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INAH, you are such a shining example of the Lighthouse. Your daughter is so fortunate to have you. My prayers are with you.
Me 40, OD 18 and YD 13 Married 15 years, Divorced 10/2010
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INeed,
Just stopping in to let you know you and DD continue to be in my prayers!
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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I sit here tonight with waves of tears pouring down my face. Today was just another day that Satan tried his best to break me.
My best friend called me tonight and we started talking and then out of no where I'm a liar and she can't stand me anymore and now she knows exactly why my husband left me.
Anyway, we're not talking anymore. I can't stand it. He took not only my heart with him, but both of my friends now as well. I only had two friends. THe one he slept with and she felt so guilty I guess and now won't speak to me at all, and now my best friend of 12 years.
Satans battles definately get more difficult the more he tries to break you. Thank god though that he will never leave me nor forsake me, and I always have a friend in Jesus !
I had let it get to me so bad tonight that I was in hysterical sobbs. But then my daughter and I prayed and the peace fell over me. I asked God to carry me today and throughout the day tomorrow as well. I know he's doing it. I'm at a peace now but I'm drained.
If you can keep me in your prayers tomorrow is the PFA hearing.
Thank you all...... Will check in later.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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Paryers and hugs to you.
I lost many friends because of my ex's affair. Some supported him and with the others, I think my pain was such a burden that they couldn't hang.
Your friend was WRONG to say that. I can't imagine what she was thinking. It was unecessary and cruel.
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INeed,
I am SO so sorry to her about you and your friend! I know how badly that must hurt!
You are in my prayers. Let us know how the hearing goes.
{{{INeed}}}
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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SO I received paperwork in the mail today. He's out to try to prove I'm an unfit mother whose abusive to our daughter. I supposedly say things that could effect her.
meantime she asked over the weekend if daddy would go with her to the mall or to chuck-e-cheese because she wanted to spend time with him. His answer was " The courts say I get you for an entire weekend, if I can't have you for the weekend then I don't want you."
And I'm abusive ??? I just don't get how one minute you can say you love a person and then turn and say something so cruel and hateful.
Court date had to be continues, WS did not show and neither did my attorney.
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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Sounds to me like he is trying to get out of paying child support.
What is up with your attorney that he couldn't make the court date?
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I have two attorneys handling the case and it was miscommunication between the two. They each thought the other one was showing up..
It wasn't a custody hearing it was PFA hearing.
Waiting to hear more from the attorney
ME - 37 Husband - 34 Daughter - 8 Married 7-12-1997 Seperated - 1-28-2007
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