Jessie was the OW of and had two OCs with a married man

Who was also cheating on Jessie with a string of other OWs

Who was once fired from the police force for criminal behaviour (his police revolver ended up in the hand of hs cousin, a convicted felon)

Who had a restraining order against him for busting into an ex-girlfriend's house (a girlfriend who ALSO had a child with him)

And who clearly had no interest in any sort of healthy relationship with Jessie or her children

WHs are extremely poor choices to father your children. Yet she continued her relationship with this man and actually got pregnant by him AGAIN. Instead of going to the trouble to find an available man and start a marriage with him, she simply took what she needed from someone else's marriage - time, money, sperm, whatever she happened to need at the time - and was probably very proud of her "independence". I have known women like this and they are just jaw-dropping in their entitlement.

I was not talking about what her family said after she disappeared. I was talking about all the video and photos and comments like "She never did anything wrong." They seemed fully accepting of her lifestyle choices and refused to say ANYTHING that might hint otherwise.

This woman made extremely poor choices in her personal life and failed to protect herself and her children. She put herself in unnecessary danger and sadly it caught up with her. That doesn't mean this man had the right to kill her - it means that she was equally responsible to *protect herself*, as every adult is, and she did not do this.

If her family had been a little tougher on her she might be alive today. Sad but true.
Mulan

I was not talking about what her family said after she disappeared. I was talking about all the video and photos and comments like "She never did anything wrong." They seemed fully accepting of her lifestyle choices and refused to say ANYTHING that might hint otherwise.

It wasn't the time to say anything. The ONLY thing that they were concerned with (and rightfully so) was finding their daughter.

I can imagine the "not done anything wrong" comment would be in relation to being in trouble with the law...as in, doing drugs, robberies, or anything that would draw the criminal element to her.

I don't feel anything but relief for the wife. She escaped...cause it could have been her given the nature of the beast.

committed

Well you know mimi that during the 80's we had the moral majority with jerry Fallwell and every one that did not agree with him, claimed that it wasn't up to those fanatical christains to tell the rest of the world how to live....people believed that as long as it didn't affect then, they really didn't care, not to thread jack here but look at all those GIRLS GONE WILD vids, people say well who are we to judge, but I will say this those girls in those videos are other woman in the making, they had no respect or bounderies for themselves so why would they respect others, marriages, girlfriends, or anyone that gets in their way, Surviver taught people how to look out for only themselves, and not others unless they can get some thing out of it.

Totally OT and all due to my lack of news but I'm sad for the unborn fetus and, more importantly, for the child who has no understanding of where Mommy is right now and why she hasn't come home.

Women in this country have the FREEDOM to choose any available man to marry and father her children. (except for very tiny pockets of religious sects where young girls are married off to old men)

With that FREEDOM, comes the responsibility to choose with good judgement and discretion of character .....

WE WOMEN are responsible for nesting with a man who shows us he is excellent father-material

Not to disrespect this murdered woman, she is a tragic example of how NOT to pick out a man to father babies

UNavailable
UNfaithful
UNreliable

This dead woman made a sequence of decisions that brought into the world a darling little 2-year-old boy who was "visited" by his daddy. This is immoral and selfish on her part.

This woman did not stop with that poor decision which caused harm to her own child. NO ! She made another choice to become pregnant again with the same

UNavailable
UNfaithful
UNreliable

male

............

character counts

WOMEN have CHOICES

women can choose men who ARE

available
faithful
reliable

invariably a woman making this sort of judgement error will complain:

"But he said he was going to leave his wife and take care of us. "

HE SAID
HE SAID
HE SAID

ignoring his track record

never mentioning the fact that she picked out, from among the world's men

a man who was known to be

UNavailable
UNfaithful
UNreliable

and she then becomes a volunteer victim

this time .... he did not just abandon her and their shared children

he murdered her and one of their children and permanently damaged that darling little boy

because SHE prefered/desired/wanted/returned to

UNavailable
UNfaithful
UNreliable

shame on her

(If you are tempted to tear my post apart, have at it, I will not be responding)

As Judge Judy would say " WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SO ABOUT IT!! YOU PICKED HIM"

Pepperband what you say is so true....women who just met the guy three months later having them move in with her and her kids, lending them money, buying them gifts even going so far as to pay their child support for them.

All of those are red flags not a neon green light to go ahead and screw up your life.

And I do my very best DAILY to INFLUENCE my ADULT SONS to maintain the CHARACTER that you are speaking of Pep..


Agree with you 1000% ...


It irks me to no end when folks ask me if I have any GRANDCHILDREN, knowing full well that neither one of them is married.. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I'm not trying to pick your post apart, I'm just throwing something out there for discussion. (Mostly I'm trying to keep my mind away from thinking of the poor little boy who witnessed it - he's totally innocent, he didn't ask to be brought into the world in such a situation... the mom's mom said sometimes he lays on the couch with the saddest expression ever.)

During the school year I live near where "very tiny pockets of religious sects where young girls are married off to old men". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> So I've been thinking various things - like, in a society where it isn't a scandal to be the OW and have OC, is that not unlike polygamy? In practice, polygamy usually degrades the status of women. So, what about a permissive society accepting OW and OC? Seems like that's at least as bad. At least in polygamy all participants entered willingly (assuming they are all old enough to be consenting adults). (And I'm NOT advocating polygamy!)

Shouldn't society denounce condoning As the same way we denounce polygamy?

I also want to throw out there, we don't really know *what* the WH was telling any of those OW. My sister was an OW, unwittingly. He told her he was divorced. When she started doubting it, he brought his teenage son in to tell her that yes, his parents were in fact completely divorced. (They weren't.) A friend of a friend told me he wasn't divorced, and when I tried to verify for my sister, I got reamed out by a friend of the WH. WH started making wedding plans with my sister, even though he wasn't divorced. He planned an elaborate wedding and honeymoon in Europe - because he wasn't divorced (amd living in the U.S.). When my sister refused to go through with the wedding - too many danger signs - he killed her cat. She had to involve the police for several months to keep him away from her apt. Several months later, he went to Europe with another OW, got married, and as soon as they landed was arrested by a bounty hunter for fraud.

I never liked him, I could tell he was slimey, but it took my sister awhile. He was *really* convincing about being divorced, too. My sister was lucky. She didn't find out until after he was arrested, that he was in fact still married. At least she was smart enough to end it just based on other things about him.

One final note: exposure might protect not only the BS but also the OW/OM and any OC.

Me too.

What I do not understand is the mind set of Jessies' mom and sister, why would you be ok with your daughter and sister dating a guy that was married, who cares if he said he was separated from his wife, wouldn't you want more for you daughter?

And let's don't forget his OTHER CHILD, Briana, whom he had with Kelly Cutts...

Surely Jessie knew that he was not separated from his wife until February...

In all probability he was probably ENRAGED by the second pregnancy which she thought just might do the trick...she paid the price with her death...playing this Russian Roulette with her life and her children's lives...

To me, it's using one's own children for one's own SELFISH reasons...

Mimi, who had narcisstic parents and who knows that the FOW in my case tried to talk my H into having a child towards the END...

I guess I'm not unbiased...

ALL THE PLAYERS ARE GUILTY and the DAMAGE is FAR-REACHING...

We need to continue to STAND UP and to SPEAK UP against this WAR ON MARRIAGE...

I feel for them as well, Mimi.

Signed
Jo (one who HAS experienced the deliberate presence of 2 OCs from 2 conniving & preditory OW)

Hmmm... a police officer who killed a pregnant woman, in jail...

Bravo, Pep! This is an excellent point that needs to be emphasized. There are countries in the world where women do not have the RIGHT to choose their men, and we have women in this country who SQUANDER THAT FREEDOM by making IDIOTIC, immoral choices.

It just astounds me how little thought goes into making such a life changing decision such as who will be your H and the father of your children. This young woman knew, at some point, that this man was married and that he was a player. Yet, she still chose him, tragically.

I think the discussion needs to be about why it is not a good use of freedom - or intelligence - to make such bad choices.

I feel bad for the children in this mess. It is so sad that a scum bag would off his own unborn child and leave his own child motherless by offing the childs mother. Something is very wrong with a man like that. It must be devastating for his wife to know she was married to a murderer. Very sick. He is a loser and any woman in her right mind should be running very fast in the opposite direction of that cold blooded killer.
As for the OW in this case, I actually feel for her too.It is very sad to me to know that human lives mean aboslutely nothing to some people. Very sad.

Jayne... you are right about that..thaqt cop is in touble when and IF he hits prison. The only thing that will be in his favor is his skin color... but if he does make it, eventually he will be someones "property" in prison... traded almost nightly for a pack of cigarettes.

SS... as far as your comments about OJ and the other stuff you mentioned... that ranks up there with some of the most ridiculous bull pucky I have ever heard on this site. OJ got off because he had an excellent albeit immoral bunch of lawyers and the prosecution was led by a bunch of idiots.
As far as a cop committing a murder...if in fact that is what happened here (and it most likely did)... it is obvious that arogant or not, he is in possession of the type of information which can make finding him guilty beyond a reasonable doubt all the more diffcult. If in fact this was a crime of passion, then he will have left clues just like any other crazed criminal... if it wasn't, the prosecutution will have a hard time. It appears as though someone else might be involved too which will make this case quite a bit easier to solve.
And those girls gone wild videos are disgusting... but that behavior is nothing new... kids were doing that stuff back when I was in HS and college... it's just now that someone is making a buck off of it.

The family was probably very carefully coached before she was confirmed to be dead about what to say. As long as there was any hope at all of her being "only" abducted (perhaps by some crazed person who wanted a newborn), the family would have been coached by professionals to present her as a person of great value and avoid giving the perpetrators any "reasons" why they should kill her.

Now that she's dead -- well, I'm sure right now, today, when they've just confirmed they found her body... the last thing on their minds would be to talk about the mistakes she made in her life.

She's gone - one child is dead and the other has been traumatized beyond belief.

I think everyone would agree that whatever she did, she didn't deserve what happened. Let her rest in peace.

If people learn from her story, so be it. But, I don't see how her family coming out and saying anything negative about her now that she's all ready gone is going to help anything. I think the story more or less speaks for itself.

Mys

Well make I'm sorry you feel that way but I know what I saw on tv and most of the people they interview on tv said that yes they felt that this was another case of the police going after a famous black male.....

As for the girls gone wild vids, yrs ago girls like that we're looked down on as ho's and sluts and the like, now it's just normal behavior and if you don't act like that your called a prude or judgemental... turn on the real world on mtv and watch some of the girls meet guys in the bars take them home and sleep with them, sorry but that is not normal or being respectful to themselves they think its cool and that every one does it.

Can you imagine if they have younger sisters and brothers at school, and how the classmates rib them for having a sibling that'a ****** on national tv?

I agree that it's not expected or necessary for them to say anything BAD about her now...

I personally don't feel uncomfortable though in saying that Jessie was just as guilty as CUTTS in causing pain for his WIFE....

Regardless of the FACT that he is a HORRIBLE PERSON, HIS WIFE is a VICTIM in this too...what in the world is she telling her children today?...WHAT A TRAGIC,TRAGIC END TO AN AFFAIR FOR A BW...

Well, I was also hoping to offer a reason as to why they didn't say anything horrible about her before it was confirmed she was dead as many people commented on that.

The oft quoted "She never did anything wrong" was probably a specific tactic to appeal to a potential kidnapper more than anything else.


Oh, I don't know about AS guilty. Certainly she had her part but he also had another child with another OW. I guess that just adds a little more weight in my book. Sure, she contributed to the misery but it seems he was out looking for as much as he could heap on as possible.


And, the dead and the living children. Though they're still saying "alleged father." Someone speculated that perhaps the whole story about that poor little baby isn't all the way out. I wouldn't be shocked if we find out next week that the dead baby isn't the cops child.

I don't know. I'm not convinced this has sunk as low as it's going to go. Maybe it has.

Time will tell.

Mys