(((LilSis)),

Your post brought tear to my eyes. Knowing that I will soon be there also. I'm so sorry... just remeber today is the first day of the rest of your life. And regardless of POSWH it will be a happy one. I just know it.

(((hugs)))

Still

LilSis,

I am so sorry that your life took this unwanted and unwelcome turn - that your innocent hopes and dreams ended up shattered.

I have absolutely no doubt that God has many good things planned for your future. Your broken dreams will turn to new dreams.

My best friend has just found a wonderful new man who is making her happy beyond any expectations she ever dared to have. This is about 3 years after her divorce and once she finally became really okay with being on her own - decided she didn't need a man to have a fulfilling life. Gotta love it...

Hugs and prayers, as always.

SHOL

(((Sis)))

(((Sis)))

My heart is breaking for you right now...

(((Sis)))

((((LS))))

~ Marsh

Thinking of you, Sis.....(((((Sis)))))

Fox

(((LilSis)))

Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and your boys also. I pray, hope and wish for nothing but the best for you!

Thanks, everyone.

I feel like I've been hit by a truck. I feel like a zombie....emotionally wrung out.

It feels just like how I felt the day of my dad's funeral. Just alone, sort of vacant. Shocky. Going through the motions. Staring. Empty.

Like I am so completely overwhelmed that I can only function at the minimal level.

What am I doing? Can someone explain this?

You are going to be okay. There's no explanation. It just hurts, and you are dealing with it the way anyone would.



{{{{SIS}}}}


SB

Shocky depression. Don't push yourself. Take care of yourself. Do you have the kids tonight? Do something simple for dinner.

You'll survive. It will get better.

Sis,

I haven't posted to you in a long while. But I never stopped reading you.

I'm very sorry it ended like this, but I also believe with all my heart and soul that God has something very special planned for you. You had to get through all this so you're freed up for His plan.

Aside from that, I remember the day I became divorced. Heart wrenching as it was, I somehow survived it. Like you I had wonderful friends that were there for me day and night.

I also remember a couple weeks after Divorce, when my ex-husband called me. He was completely without his armor, his guard was down for the first time in a very long time and he asked me genuinely "how are you?". Which he never bothered to ask me during his betrayal and its affects on me, a person in cancer treatments.

I was caught off guard with his new demeanor and maybe even took offense to his question, which felt long over due. I didn't understand why it was okay for him to care NOW, now that we were divorced. I still don't, but I no longer hold it against him.

There's a new world waiting for you, Sis. But for now you should care for yourself above all else. And give yourself the time you need to adjust.

Jo

You might not feel like it right now, but today you showed just how much you have grown and just how much class you have. Your ex-husband (yes, I know, ouch, but it is what IS) as he IS, doesn't come close to deserving you.

Rather than compare this day to your wedding day, compare it to the day you hit RT.

What a long way you have come, what a stellar Plan A and Plan B, what strength you have shown - picking yourself up over and over....what an incredible woman you have shown yourself to be.

This is not the end of a story. This is just the end of a chapter. Keep reading my dear. You are a stupendous heroine - believe it or not.

ps - good for you, forcing him to face you while on the stand.

He did not walk out of there feeling like a winner.

For you Sis-a song that helped me during this time:

I Believe In Love
By-Barlow Girl

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my story's ending
That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining
I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe.

((LS))

While it is sad that the marriage is over, you did just fine on the settlement. I'm happy for you about that.

Now lets see what happens to the affairees without the marriage. My ex and OW broke up two weeks after we were divorced.

((((HUGS))))

You're a warrioress! You fought the good fight. You have kept the faith. You will be blessed.

Time for the true freedom of conscience that you have earned. He is just beginning to feel the weight of his choices.

KA

Dear LilSis,

{{{hugz}}} to you and your family.

The very fact that he could not face you shows he is a coward. A piece of history that will follow him around for the rest of his life. He is and will be a miserable soul for what he has done to you and your family.

You though can move forward. You've got a posse <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> and us. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Hugz,
L.

Thanks, everyone. You don't know how comforting it is to come here and find this kind of support and reassurance. Truly, you have no idea. Yesterday was an exhausting day.

Okay, so now it's XWH. And it's a new day.

I asked the kids how he was doing this afternoon, and they said he was happy. Ouch.

Between he and RT and the ILs, they have enough drama and weirdness going on that the A won't starve itself. So I will operate from the assumption that this is long term...for my own sake, but more importantly for the boys.

Today will be better, I know, but I still can't help but be reminded of my dad's death. Last week was the death watch, knowing the end was near. Yesterday was the funeral and the stunned finality. Today begins the baby steps towards carving out a new life without that really important piece.

I experience this divorce the same way, but publicly--to the general outside world, there's this sense that I should be happy and relieved to be rid of this scumbag, and that I should be functioning just fine.

My posse knows better, as do my other friends and family. And of course....you all here.

Baby steps.

(((LilSIs)))

Just sending my warm thoughts for you and the boys this morning.

Still