Hey LilSis!

I am so happy that you are so happy! And a date too! WooHoo!!!


Sssweeeeet! I hear ya!


As for xH and RT...see ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! I still believe he will never be able to make her happy in the long run. And she will let him know it. They will end up giving each other exactly what they believed they were running from in the first place. Funny how full circle life can be.

And I know your kids are so thankful for you and the home you give them. As adults, you will be the one they truly share their lives with.

Don't be such a stranger! And have fun on that date!

{{Sis}}

Miss you! Glad to hear an update from you! Watch out for those 'young ones'!! Although since he's not been married before he may still be 'trainable"!!

As much as I miss you, I am glad to hear you are happy, busy, and carrying on with life with little time to hang around here. Good for you!!

As for RT and the Jerk,,,,,,,,,as I read on another thread recently and as has been said about Drac & the HO, a relationship with 2 such selfish people will only come to a fiery crash someday. They will continue to put on appearances for the sake of the 'public', being too prideful to admit their mistakes until they can finally twist around another self-justification to end that relationship, too.

Then, where will they be? Right back where they were before. No better. Probably worse. While you have grown better, stronger, and more capable than ever! You will have true happiness no matter what comes along in life. You DESERVE IT!

I almost typed 'better, stronger, faster", but that was the 6 Million Dollar Man! ha! ha!

Love ya girl! Take are and keep us 'posted'

I didn't know Sis was a Pirate?

Awesome update. Enjoy your date!

Hey Sis.

If you are ever out there any more, I just wanted to wish you and the boys well.

Darn it, chris. I thought Sis may have updated - and I come in and the only one here was YOU.

Guess I'll have to check back later.

Thanks for giving her a nudge. I was just thinking about her not too long ago.

Fox

I've been waiting and waiting for Sis to do the update herself, but

That date Sis went on? It went well. Really well.

She was doing great last time I heard from her. I'll nudge her again for an update.

Hey everyone!

sd urged me to check in. I had intended to some time ago, but couldn't remember my log in info. I have a couple of minutes before I have to get going this morning and will give a quick update.

So anyway. Life is good. Work's going well, the boys are well, we've had a couple of great vacations...one to the UP and one to Montana. We had a blast; probably the best vacation I've ever had. The boys have had a couple of vacations with their dad, too, so it's been a pretty eventful summer for them. Now we are on the slow slide back into school. Three weeks or so to go. Where does the time go?

Yeah, my date went well. We are still seeing each other. I really struggled with the whole "this isn't supposed to happen" thing, but finally decided to just let it all unfold and not be so afraid. We just clicked--cracked each other up on that first date and discovered we have lots in common work-wise.

I really don't know what to say about it (the relationship) or him, so you'll have to ask questions. Since you all know where I WAS, maybe a comparison will help? There are so many ways that he is different from XH. He's really laid back and easy-going. He has this whole artsy side which I really like. He's really non-judgmental and has a really broad group of interesting friends. He's really generous with his time and his friends...but not in a cheesy, heroic, puffed-chest way; more in an honest, "ugh, I have to go help so-and-so hook up her internet" but he does it cheerfully because he's just that kind of guy. He likes to cook. He's just the right height. He's a Democrat.

This gives the impression maybe that I think of him in relation to XH, which I don't. He's just his own unique person, and his qualities have illuminated ways in which XH was really unhealthy for me.

Or maybe I was unhealthy to me while I was in a relationship with XH. Not maybe...I was.

I am a far, far more confident person now. I REALLY like myself. I know I have a lot to offer, and I'm pretty cool. I'd say that I'm not afraid, but that's not true, either. I am terrified of having my heart broken again. Yes, yes...I have the knowledge that I can survive terrible heartbreak, but who the he11 wants THAT??? I just as soon avoid that...but to do so would mean never taking the chance at that kind of happiness.

Ah, well. Not enough time to mine that topic.

We're just good and I'm really enjoying this time.

He's met the kids...just simple stuff like grilling out or getting ice cream. DS9 is really interested in him, DS12 kind of holds back. No rush there, either. Just low key. I don't want to be dishonest with the boys and hide our relationship, but I don't want to force one on the boys, either. He's a teacher, so he's comfortable with kids, but he is also very nervous about their reaction to him.

I ran into RT's XH at the market the other day. He said that RT and XH were getting married, and that his kids weren't too happy about it. At the time, the boys were with XH up at the cottage, so I expected some fallout when they returned. Turns out, nothing was said to the boys (I managed to slip in a question about it)...so either RT's X was mistaken, or XH is just keeping them in the dark.

What a prince....although I am no longer invested in what he does or how he manages his relationship with his sons. I don't get bent out of shape, and just focus on my own relationship with them and what I can do to ameliorate the impact of XH's choices.

I really gotta go or I'll be late! Take care, all! I'll check back in.

well that update brightened my morning.

Glad to hear you are doing so well Lilsis.

lilsis!!

I think of you often, and its really great to hear that you are doing well.

Your new guy sounds interesting, and you have a very healthy approach! So many jump into rebound unhealthy relationships -- but it sounds like you're doing it just right!

(((hugs)))

Hey LilSis, thanks for popping in to update us. Good to see that you are doing well.

It's always nice to see one of the Killer Bee's doing so well. It's good to see this healthy approach you have to your new beau. Gives me hope that I can get it right post D

Great to hear from you sis! It sounds like a great summer. You deserve that. What a great post.

Show off.

Thank you for the update, Sis. So glad to hear you are doing well and things are looking good for you.

Your guy sounds great. I'm so happy for you. I hope it continues to go well.

So you were in MT this summer, huh? Hope you were here when the weather wasn't so DARN hot! It's been a bit suffocating lately.

I'm headed to Minnesota in late September. My mom married and moved there with her new husband last month.

Keep in touch every once in a while. We miss you!

Fox

Sis:

It can't be Little Sis anymore.

You have grown so much.
Learned so much.

Recovery isn't always about putting the marriage back together. Sometimes it is so irrtreivably smashed that it can't be.

Its a new opportunity.

I hope it works out for you.

And if not, that's ok, because YOU know what you need now.

And THAT is recovery.

(((SIS)))

LG

Sis,

Glad to hear you're doing so well.

RT and XH, I kind of think they deserve each other - I visualize them making a rat's nest and not a home. No wonder they don't want to tell the kids!

In the end, it looks like your freedom is the best thing that could have happened to you! Sounds like your road to recovery is paved before you.

You sound happy, rested, and looking forward. Good for you!

SB

or ..... another possibility (highly likely IMO)

RT told her XH she is "getting married" - before any actual plans have been made

in other words - she's expressing her wishful thinking to her XH as fact ...
waywards are notorious for indulging themselves in wishful thinking

- you are living real life, with your eyes wide open

I admire your style. Good for you

Pep

Hey Big Sis!

I was so pleased to read your post! You sound great! Happy & healthy.

You are such a shining Goddess!!!

LG is right, you have reached real Recovery and have so much to be proud of.

I think my favorite part of your post was hearing you talk about Liking Yourself!!! Outstanding!! I think you are finally seeing in yourself what others have seen for a very long time.


This is EXACTLY what I was thinking. No matter what drama continues in Affairland, YOU are living the Best life!


{{{{{{{{{SIS}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hey, thanks everyone! It feels good to touch base. I'll admit it is hard to come back here because I feel so far from all the desperate feeling of wanting my marriage to work.

It's just not me anymore. XH is a total, absolute stranger. He's not at all a person I want in my life. I'm happier now in a way I never was before. I feel free. Free of all THAT.

Chris: I did have to fix the spelling on ameliorate. Didn't get it the first time.

Wild: It was hot while we were there. We were at the Three Forks Rodeo; were you?

Gotta run.

Hooray, Sis! Great to hear from you, and see how everyone is doing.

Congratulations to you on your success story - you've done wonderfully and I'm so proud of you!