because of the adverse effect it would have on our Son's education.

More or less adverse than a divorce ?

OM taught refereeing in a town next to mine. He initially refused to give them up.

I was prepared to move my family but only as a last resort.

I threatened OM in several highly credible ways and those lessons and his role as national squad coach became less important all of a sudden.

Not advocating threatening your OM but.... Dr H says EXTRAORDINARY precautions against NC violation are required.

EXTRAORDINARY.

ML et al.

You were right.

I've just found out that they have been violating NC repeatedly as we were spending a fortune on counselling and supposedly trying to make it work. She even introduced my Son to OM. I'll spare you the details of how I busted her.

She's: 'gone away for a few days to make sense of the mess'.

I've just separated our finances.

I've made arrangements for MIL to act as an intermediary.

I'm going to draft my Plan B letter this afternoon.

Heartbroken <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Document this on paper for your attorney!

MW. Really sorry to hear that, hope you are OK. Take care, I am thinking of you.
WW and myself are both off work this week and having fun days out with DD, so not a lot of time to post this week but just saw your update and wanted to let you know I was feeling for you.

Thanks Brae, much appreciated.

Don't be deceived by all that sadness in your WW. It may not be the sign of withdrawal that you think it is. As I've learned to my cost.

MW. I will bear that in mind, although these last few days some of the sadness seems to have lifted and I have seen signs of W poking her head out once in a while.
She says she wakes up sad and she thinks it is because being at home is too intense, I think maybe like you, I was doing to much R and M talk and Love busting by doing this. I have done my best to stop this and just have fun on these days off together. She told me tonight that she feels like she has now moved on from OM and things are now about us and trying to rebuild our marriage and get her feelings for me back but she can't understand why she does not have these feelings when she should be loving the pants off me.
I just hope this all doesn't turn out to be a lie.
Anyway, enough about my situation, I have already been through one false recovery and I know how much you are suffering, take care MW and I hope Plan B brings some positive results for you.

Brae,

I hope for your sake that it doesn't turn out that way too.

Thanks for your kind words.

Good luck to you too.

MW

Worst still. I've just learned she's staying with him instead of MIL like she said she was going to.

Do you reckon that's it?

If you gotta ask then it ain't it.

MW
Thats only it if you choose to quit.

If your WW and OM both really wanted to be together they would both have left partners and done so by now.

Your WW is cake-eating.

You need to implement loving detachment to keep sane, then a very dark plan B ASAP.

Also you need to find out a lot about OM so you can find somebody in his life whose opinion he respects to expose to.

You're actually better off now than a week ago. Now you KNOW what you're up against.

Thanks Orchid & Bob.

Bob, he doesn't have a partner. You are right that she's cake-eating. She even said that if she didn't love me she would have gone by now. It makes me want to puke.

Plan B is underway already. She's had the letter.

Whilst I'm sure the scumbag must respect somebody's opinion, I'm not sure I have the energy to bother finding out. Maybe they deserve each other.

My desire to rekindle things has suffered a major kick in. Not even sure I want her back now.

Well, I already told you one thing OM WOULD respect.

Plan it carefully, if you do it.

Tell us about your plan B. Who is your intermediary ? Where is your W going to live ? Child access without contact sorted ?

Do some digging, find OM's parents, and expose to them. That caused some friction for my WW's affair.

Well Plan B lasted just over a week. She's back and swears the A is over.

What now?

MW,

I have no advice to give as I am not yet in plan B but I hope that this is the start of true marital R for you.

From what I have read on other threads it seems that the hard work really begins now.

Good luck

You can't break plan B until all your plan B conditions are met. That includes NC w/ OM for life, MC, and complete transparency.

What's next after those are agreed to is the LONG, TEDIOUS road of recovery. It will take 2 years to get through and the first 6 months stink. Keep up your plan A changes and meet her ENs. She isn't going to be very willing to meet yours, so you need to keep those on the back burner until she gets through withdrawal.

Jim

Those conditions have been agreed to. So is it back to Plan A?

It's not technically plan A, but it is using the skills you used during you plan A while you help her get through withdrawal, and making those changes permanent. You also need to watch your WW like a hawk so you hold her accountable if she tries to initiate contact again.

Last night Bonkers learned that one of her family called me to offer support during Plan B. She is furious and very upset about it. She says that she feels all of our extended family is against her, that everyone is on my side.

Babble?

I responded to a question from Braeworth on his thread. BK and LG were kind enough to chime in and respond.

LG wrote:

"Is it Plan B time?"

Well as you will see from my sig I did this last time. She came back after about a week, swearing it was over. However she never followed through on her promise of the NC letter and never sustained longer than six weeks of NC. Never deliberate on her part until the last few days. Never got through the emotional withdrawal and her infatuation is just so strong.

In my heart of hearts I would like to think that another crack of Plan B would turn it around. My logical head and just about everyone I know says push the button on divorce proceedings. I think I should probably let myself settle for a couple of weeks and maybe the rawness of my feelings will subside leaving me better able to make the right decision.

I just feel s***.