And 'average' was my best guess...

(I had wondered what I would put as 'my size' (if I ever register), ang looking at options on e.g. Match... hm, there is no 'normal size' <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
For I don't know what is 'average' around here, am not athlete type, not skinny, nor overweight... just normal healthy size... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />)

Hi everyone,

I need some help asap from guys in particular but anyone can chime in.

I've been e-mailing this guy online for a bit now.He's totally everything I want exterior wise: tall,dark blonde hair,blue eyes,really muscular (does martial arts,weights,etc),educated,I LOVE his name.....is it getting hot in here or what?! LOL.

Anyway,the conversation is s-l-o-w going though and I mean that info is coming about piece meal but very friendly,etc.He asks about my day and stuff like that.And tell me if I am rushing things but I want to know EVERYTHING about him NOW.I find that I am really looking forward to his e-mails and I also feel like I am flying off in to la-la land thinking about him.I am deleting just about everybody else ( except one other guy) since I really want to focus on him right now (I would anyway since I don't want to be juggling a whole bunch of guys at once).I don't want to blow it with him either so I am being very cautious too realizing I don't really know all that much yet.

How can I get to know him better without seeming like...desperate or something? He e-mailed me again today and I want to answer in a way that's best.Is it too forward to ask him to come visit my town (since he asked about how busy it is with the college kids away)? Or should I actually ask or tell him that I want to know more about him? We have been e-mailing about 2 weeks now.He is NMNK
(he's 43,I'm 41),lives about an hour away I think.

Thanks for any suggestions.

I'd meet him, instead of sinking deeper and deeper into la-la land <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

In my experience, only about 1 out of 5 women who seemed "perfect" on paper/e-mail still showed promise after I met them in person. YMMV, of course <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

AGG

So you don't think it would be too forward to ask to do that at this point? On the one hand it seems too soon but yet I am all for it.If,as you say,he's not all that I am making him out to be <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> then I can concentrate on the blonde volleyball player! LOL

I don't think it's too forward. I think it is more weird to be chatting about how your/his day went, without having even met face to face. But that is just me, I am a strong believer in meeting in person rather than getting attached to the fantasy.

AGG

Ok,well I did e-mail him back already but I did it in such a way to see how things can progress.I am aware that I am floating toward Fantasy Island so I'm trying not to.

Besides,I have actually 2 other's I'm talking to as well ( not one) so I should concentrate on them too.

opinions,opinions,one and all.....

AB, all i can tell you is to relax and enjoy. i never did the online dating thing so i cannot comment. (yeah, i know, i met gekko on here but i don't consider that online dating)

and i am with you... i honestly can only date one person at a time. first off, i don't have time for more and secondly, i just like to concentrate on one person and get to know them.

i am glad to see you putting yourself out there. bravo for you!

mlhb

Thanks mlhb,

I'm trying to relax but it's hard.I am having fun.For a while I was a bit annoyed by all the mismatches I was being sent that didn't fall into my categories.One guy from CA kept calling me honey,babe,lady,etc. like some shmoozer.yuk.I started to tell him how that wasn't going to work with decent ladies but then I just deleted the e-mail.I try to be nice and respond to everyone but that was just a waste I think.

Anyway,what's been coming along lately is much more my taste! And that is fun to handle.Even if I don't know them very well yet it's fun talking.I felt ready and I still feel ready being out there so I guess I made the right choice.Thanks for the support <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hope you are doing ok too~

thank you ab, i am doing ok. gekko and i have been talking and we are still dating, just moving back a bit to a dating relationship and waiting on anything more. i am totally ok with that. i trust god and i have been very busy with vbs, and my job and college courses and kids too!

relationships are not always easy, they are not always wine and roses and chocolates.

mlhb

AGG,

What does YMMV mean? That's a new one on me... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

i have not heard of that one either.

i think he made it up!
some southern california jewish thing ;-) lol

mlhb

Hehe, it's not a So CA thing, it just means Your Mileage May Vary <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.

AGG

my "mileage may vary"? what the heck does that mean?

mlhb

Yeah what does that mean AGG? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Well,I've landed on the shores of Fantasy Island....sigh.I tried not to but I couldn't help it. He's SO handsome and we keep talking every day!! I'm in trouble if this doesn't work out......

one step at a time ab...

the first few guys i dated before gekko came along didn't turn out to be fantasy land at all. you may have to kiss a few frogs...

but enjoy the process and just protect your heart ok?

mlhb

YMMV = Your Mileage May Vary

Comes from the boilerplate qualifier that car mfgrs use when listing their vehicles' economy rating. It's now a pretty common internet forum term to qualify a statement. Basically, this was my experience or this is what I think, your experience may be different.

Here you go <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />.


I gather you haven't met him yet?

mlhb,

I think I'm better today.I gave myself a reality check last night so even though I'm very hopeful,I am feeling back to a more "neutral" position.How boring is that? blah I know I better be careful.It will be my first time with someone after the A/D.

AGG,

No I haven't met yet.It seems too soon for me but things are heading that way much more now.I am letting him direct the pace a bit. Oh well to be continued...

i'll take boring any day AB..
boring is so much better than drama. can't stand drama. i like peace and calm.

mlhb

AB,

I have never done online dating but I had a blind date once. He used to live here but moved away a few years ago. He had tix to an event here and a mutual friend said "you must take Starving". After a few failed attempts at setting us up, she finally asked if she could give him my email address so she wouldn't have to be the middleman.

So, he sends an introduction. I write back. He responds. The emails are funny and a distraction from all that is going on in real life. This goes on for almost 3 weeks. At one point, about a week before the thing we're going to, he writes that he must be crazy but he thinks he's falling in love w/someone he's never met. It was just like the stuff people say on here. I responded w/a paraphrase of something AGG said to one of those fantasy posts (a paraphrase AGG, not all out plagiarizing!) But I told him he was setting himself up for a fall.

The date comes and we have a nice time. I sensed he was a bit disappointed. We had 2 more after that and I could tell he was trying to make me the person he had been attracted to in cyberland but it wasn't there for him.

From that experience alone, I would say that it isn't too soon to meet. If you are talking on the phone, keep the conversation to a minimum. Talk long enough to set up a date and time to meet. There will be time for all that personal connection after you have met each other. That just helps keep it real I think.

Good luck and have great time!