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Julio 10, 2007 11:21 Express Logistics Centre, Dubai - United Arab Emirates Salido de la oficina de DHL en Express Logistics Centre, Dubai - United Arab Emirates Whats the ETA again? I forgot.
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Depends on customs. It should be in Mexico my tomorrow afternoon (about 24 more hours). I got an email from WW a little while ago. She says she is a little depressed about the pocketbook.
I'm having some issues with this that I haven't posted. I did let BigK know. I'm not doing my very best at the moment. But that's my problem as BigK likes to remind me.
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I very much trust BK's advice to you.
Whatever the issues may be, I can tell you that your heart is in the right place when you decided to take care of her by replacing her loss.
To me its somewhat metaphorical for whats happened to you both.
"She lost her way, and you are showing her a way back."
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Well. Two things. And you can do the math.
1) She will be without internet for the next few days. She said she would go to a local internet cafe and stay in touch. Tie this back to my Dday when I now know she was communicating with OM daily through a secret email account. A bit of a trigger.
2) She apparently has to travel to a consulate to get papers to allow her to travel to the USA. Certainly she will do that alone. But will she use that as an opportunity?
So I'm paranoid. Infidelity just never lets go, does it?
OTOH, I remind myself that if a person wants to have an A, they will have an A. Nobody can stop them.
But I might be a tad fragile at the moment.
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So Pio, she didn't ask for her pocketbook to be stolen. All the things she's doing are to replace important items because of that unplanned theft. Logically, I know you know that.
If she wanted opportunities to cheat again, she could have done it sooner. Being away from you affords her that. But she has chosen not to.
At some point in your recovery you are going to have to give it up and trust again, to some degree. She is with you and not out of luck or chance, but out of choice.
I really do understand your worry. Its normal and expected.
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So I'm paranoid. Infidelity just never lets go, does it? It doesn't entirely, but eventually it does fade into the background and becomes "something we went thru". I experienced what you're feeling. It was very hard. And now when I look back I wish I would/could have shortened the time I spent mourning the loss of innocence and trust in my marriage. Because it hurt me the most.
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Julio 10, 2007 17:38 Cologne - Germany Llegada a las oficinas de DHL en Cologne - Germany Well that's just great! Now it's gonna smell funny! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />
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LOLOLOL
Maybe she'll like it even more. I hear Germany has some mean cologne.
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Julio 11, 2007 04:02 Brussels - Belgium Salido de la oficina de DHL en Brussels - Belgium
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I was doing pretty well not thinking too much about WW. Unfortunately this incident and the possibly misguided decision to send the pocketbook has me somewhat more invested emotionally than I was a week ago. I guess I need to go back to semi-detachment. I still have three weeks to go before I see her. I can't really say anything about this to WW because it would be nothing more than an LB. I'm just screwed up.
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Pio?
Did I miss something? What has happened or changed since you sent the pocketbook?
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Nothing has changed. It's all just my overactive imagination. Keeping in mind that OM's xGF telling me that OM is down in Mexico somewhere (which he probably isn't), this is all just messing with my head.
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Julio 11, 2007 04:02 Brussels - Belgium Salido de la oficina de DHL en Brussels - Belgium NM ... I just saw this. Damn! Hmmmmph! STOOPID DHL.
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I know. The Belgies speak French! Insult to injury.
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Stop listening to stoopid people (OM xGF). People with an agenda. People who don't live your life. People who don't care about you. K?
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You have ~3 weeks left before you see her buddy. You need a PLAN to get you that far.
Here's a start. Go get a big beefy rubber band and place it on your wrist. Every time you start feeling these bad feelings, snap it HARD!
More coming.
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I had a plan. The theft ruined my plan. The rubber band isn't a bad idea. I'll do it. Seriously.
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Damn straight seriously.
I'll give you some more "To Dos" in a bit.
And you better do them too. Else ...... pork sausage pizzas may disappear from the earth as you know it.
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