Termination of rights is meant to imply they are no longer a custodial parent. I am sorry for not making that clear. BUT, in some cases, yes a case can be made for never having a relationship with the serial cheater.

My IC, who I consider to be spot on... has advised me (and I have not done this as of now) that my son would be better off being isolated from his mother.

I think it all depends on the facts of the infidelity...but I always think that the repeat WS should be given nothing more than a minimum visitation schedule.... if they prove trustworthy at a later time, the BS and WS can work out an agreement to modify.

I do not find Shirley Glass helpful so I can't comment on that.

The WS would be left with their job or ability to get one... so they need not be poor.

MYS... I do not think it is a freebee affair....it costs everyone. There is just no justice in making a faithful BS sign a document that they did not "earn." The purpose of the document is to help restore some of the safety to the BS ... that in and of itself will help the marriage and make an affair less likely, imo.

Medc,


I'll agree with you on the fairness issue,but I do not agree with you on the inequality helping to create a more stable environment.


I suppose that depends on the distribution of assets that can not be split. In many marriages (mine, for example) the early contributions were made to ensuring he had an education and a strong career. Now, we're in the process of 'catching me up.'

Now, maybe there's some wisdom then in saying that would discourage a SAHM who contributed to her H's successful career from straying because the results are much more worse for her. My point is that marital assets aren't always the monetary items that can be split. Sometimes, both spouses contribute to the education/career of one spouse over the other. Whoever has that investment walks away with it regardless of which side of the fence they're on.

As I mentioned, earlier in the thread. I'm in favor of the idea. The downsides seem to be the complexity of setting something up that would work - and enforcing it in court with actual evidence if the charge is contested.

Each of these details that we're discussing would have to be decided by each couple on an individual basis subject to their circumstance. It would be an interesting conversation for any couple - which would probably make it a good exercise.

Mys

WG.


What if the unfaithful partner doesn't and hasn't contributed anything toward purchasing any of the accumulated possessions, investments or savings. Let me clarify here that I am not talking about SAHM's here, I am talking about those who for whatever reason choose not to work and bring in income and then cheat to boot.

As far as I am concerned, in those circumstances, they should be left with nothing. Putting a BS in the position of having to support a XWS lifestyle with resources the XWS never contributed to seems really wrong to me.

Who

Mys... I guess the issue of leaving someone poor doesn't bother me, since it wouldn't be MY choice to do so... the choice to cheat again would rest entirely on the RWS. I really am not concerned about their needing to work at Mc.D's or Walmart... or Wall Street. The post nup will address those things... the Wall Street person would pay a HUGE price in addition to marital assets. The SAHM would likely just lose marital assets. Those issues are, as you say, different for each couple...but while I may have compassion for someone that rapes their partner once...I say that if they do a repeat performance, then they get what is coming to them.

MEDC

(Zeroth: In the case you describe the WS doesn't sound like a good future risk; maybe a divorce is better here than a post-nup?)

First, you have to be fair in the assessment. As you suggested, household chores count in the same way that dollars earned do.

For a complete slacker, I'm a lot less tolerant here. I'd have to think the length of the M is important. Was the WS always a slacker in a longish M? Then the BS seems to have accepted it, so nothing seems a little hard. In a short M I would think there wouldn't be so many assets, so its not a significant issue. If WS worked hard in the M for many years and just for a few goofed off, you have to be fair in the accounting.

Every situation is different. What if the Betrayed Spouse is cruel and unkind for many years in the marriage. The WS cheats; signs a post-nup; and cheats.

Is what the WS did right or okay. Of course not! They are accountable. But why are we trying to apportion financial assets only for betrayal, and not potentially other aspects of the relationship (addictions, abuse, cruelty, neglect)?

None of us had/have perfect marriages. Any of our faults, no matter how slight we may believe they are, hurt our spouses. Is infidelity uniquely painful -- I think so. But its not the whole story.

My $0.04.

- WG